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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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The date with Mateo was He is 2 years older than his profile said...58. Not bad looking and well-dressed and well-behaved, in general, except he talked about himself...and himself..and himself. In the hour we stayed together I could hardly manage 10 words. It was all about how clever he is, how many people he knows, how much he has travelled, etc, etc, etc. I got really bored and I would have ended the date much sooner but he had insisted on coming over here although I had suggested we meet in the middle (he lives over an hour away).

Slowly but surely I'm getting very disappointed with online dating.

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I've thought of everything possible. Friends know I've been looking, I take dancing lessons in a group (most younger than me and the only men my age married), I go out as often as I can, I go to singles events..you name it, I've tried it. But when I like someone, something is wrong with them...and when I don't, they're after me...cursed, I tell you!

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I got a happy new year message by a guy I had talked to months ago. He's 42, lives very close to me (5 mins away) and I think he had a rabbit..lol. I replied with happy new year and told him I remember we had talked in the past. He said yes but we 'got lost somehow'. Frankly, I don't remember what had happened but I like his pics and I remember we had had a couple of pleasant convos so I'll see where this goes.

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Slowly but surely I'm getting very disappointed with online dating.

 

 

I think you have to fight through that. Never was the saying "kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince" more true than of internet dating

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I think you have to fight through that. Never was the saying "kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince" more true than of internet dating

 

Yes, I know you're right.

 

I gave Alberto (the 42yo who lives close to me) my phone number and he said he'll call me this afternoon.

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I just had a 5 minute phone chat with a new guy (he was at work, at a bank and there was too much noise so I suggested to talk again later, he said he'll call this afternoon or tomorrow). No more details about him for now..if we talk again, I'll update.

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New guy. Pedro is 46 (one month younger than me), 6'1, brown hair/eyes, goatee, looks nice in pics, never been married, doesn't have kids and works as an agriculturist. The problem is he lives about 100 miles away..lol. He's originally from my city and his family (parents/sister) live here but he's away for work at a small town for 3 years. He called me and we spoke on the phone for about 40 minutes. He said he often comes here, that he's regretted taking that job, there's nothing to do in that town and that he wants to meet me soon.

I enjoyed our chat and I liked his voice, so, we exchanged emails, too, and we'll stay in touch.

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Update on the phone guy (from post #2284) as he just called me again and we talked some more. Oscar, 45, works at a bank, never been married, no kids, 5'10, brown hair and eyes and...no pic but he'll be sending me one tomorrow.

He comes from a small town but has been living/working here for years and just bought a house, too. He is very new on the site and he knows very few things about computers...a friend/colleague of his made his profile and the same friend will email me his pic as he told me he doesn't even have an email address of his own. It does sound strange but, having talked to him, I believe him. He sounds very...not sure of the appropriate word but let's say naive and with that small town mentality that's completely the opposite to mine. He told me he wants a serious relationship and eventually marriage.

I'm not sure I have anything in common with this guy but I'll wait for his pic and take it from there. If I don't like the pic, and considering our differences, I won't pursue this at all. If his pic looks ok, I may go out with him once...he told me that meeting in person is his goal which is fine by me.

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Alberto obviously realised I wouldn't answer him on the site and he emailed me...this time with a good afternoon, how are you? As if everything is fine and he didn't leave me hanging 4 days ago without as much as a text message or an emai or a 'sorry, I couldn't call you'.

 

I swear sometimes I feel that every idiot alive has targetted me

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Alberto obviously realised I wouldn't answer him on the site and he emailed me...this time with a good afternoon, how are you? As if everything is fine and he didn't leave me hanging 4 days ago without as much as a text message or an emai or a 'sorry, I couldn't call you'.

 

I swear sometimes I feel that every idiot alive has targetted me

 

Think of it this way - many many women tolerate this type of behavior although they should not. So, he's not used to someone who actually insists on being treated with respect. It's sad.

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I think also that at least part if the reason sometimes is that likely these men are in contact with lots and lots of women and not able to keep track of who and when they said they would stay in contact. Personally, if it was me, I'd just forget it all and get on with my life. sounds like it has all become a waste of time.

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I think also that at least part if the reason sometimes is that likely these men are in contact with lots and lots of women and not able to keep track of who and when they said they would stay in contact. Personally, if it was me, I'd just forget it all and get on with my life. sounds like it has all become a waste of time.

 

I don't buy this at all. Especially with today's technology, apps, etc it's easy if you want to to keep track of this sort of thing. I am looking for a job and I send out networking emails, leave voicemails, reply to e-mails, check business sites and I keep lists and calendar entries and whatever it takes to make sure I know when to follow up, how to follow up and the person's name/details as needed. When I did on line dating it wasn't as simple technologically -I kept written lists as needed with phone numbers, the day we spoke, whether I needed to call and when, etc.

 

This past summer I went to yet another wedding resulting from an online dating site -first marriage for both, early 40s, met on eharmony I believe 14 months earlier. Lovely couple.

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Hi Bataya, even though you would do that with keeping track of people, doesn't look to me like those men do - they don't sound like they are socially gifted at all. Even though there would be nice people who find each other online, I'm not convinced that would be a large percentage of people who date online. It's just my opinion, but for me, that would be letting life pass by to allow so much of my time and energy for people I don't even know. For me, and I'm older than a lot of people here, there is SO much more to life than romantic relationships. The way I see it now, in general, it's overrated. As far as I know, MM doesn't plan on having children, and I suppose that for a lot of younger people, that is a large part of the motivation to find a partner.

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For me, and I'm older than a lot of people here, there is SO much more to life than romantic relationships. The way I see it now, in general, it's overrated. As far as I know, MM doesn't plan on having children, and I suppose that for a lot of younger people, that is a large part of the motivation to find a partner.

 

That's true..I had only thought of having children back when I was married...after my divorce kids were never a priority to me even though I was only 33 and I loved kids (which is why I became a teacher in the first place). My priority was and is to find someone to share my life with.

As for romantic relationships I don't know if they're overrated...I certainly won't die if I never have a relationship again but I do miss the companionship. I have many friends but it's not the same...and my family is very small (no siblings, not many relatives and those I have live far away)..so, yeah, it would be nice to have a partner..that's how I view things.

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Oscar (45, bank) called me this morning. He seems very eager to meet me. Again I told him I'll be waiting to see his photo, he said his friend will send it to me today. He also suggested we could meet with 2 friends of ours (he has a singe friend and I got a couple of single friends, too) if I feel uncomfortable.

It seems like a good idea to me, mainly because I don't think I'll be attracted to him (I could be wrong, it's just a hunch) and a cup of coffee in a group setting might be for the best.

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I really do like to emphasize that I never dated on line and met many people who dated who originally met on line (and met many people through on line sites). There are people who date on line and to me that has nothing to do with meeting people through on line dating sites (for one thing the time investment in typing and talking to strangers makes no sense to me).

For me the time investment was more than worth it because of my goal of marriage and family. I would never have put in even a percentage of that time if that wasn't my goal so I agree with you there!

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Oscar emailed me his pic and his friend's pic..ok, not good looking but not ugly either. After I woke up from my afternoon nap I found a couple of missed calls by him and called him back but his cell was off so I'll leave it up to him...I'm not that enthusiastic about him anyway.

 

Pedro called me and we had one more nice chat..we have many things in common and I have a good feeling about him. He just sounds so nice and easygoing.

 

Finally, there's a new guy in the picture. Gabriel is 44, lives close to me, divorced, no kids and a doctor. He's 5'10, brown hair and eyes, quite attractive in his pics. We exchanged a couple of messages on the site and then he gave me his phone number and I called him. Nice voice, talkative person. He told me he had been married for 13 years to his college sweetheart, got divorced 2 years ago and the reason was that his wife wanted to have kids and couldn't...she had had 12 (!) rounds of IVF (almost one for every year they had been married)...he had suggested adoption but she was against it...eventually, all this took its toll on the marriage and he cheated on her. He said he told her the very next day and they decided that the marriage couldn't be saved. He sounded very honest and said he's looking for a long term relationship but no kids...I told him that's fine by me. Then he asked for my phone number and we both agreed that we need to meet in person. He said he'll call me...so, we'll see.

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