annie24 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 it's amazing how many people are phone call phobic. You'd think it would just be teens, but no, even older people now prefer to text rather than call on the phone. Unfortunately, I think it can lead to a lot of miscommunications, but oh well. sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 I did it for safety reasons too. Btw, yes, not everyone is great with phone conversation but I wouldn't judge on that. I didn't expect everyone to be extremely charismatic and talkative. Just genuine, you know? I wouldn't write off a guy for being a little nervous or awkward. However, it was imperative for me to hear their voice. I can tell a lot by someone's voice as I'm sure they can tell by my mine. You can tell if someone is negative, evasive, etc. Or even the TIMES they want to talk. Oh, I heard this once: "I can talk 7-8 while I drive to work and on my way home but don't call me when I'm home and I'm busy on weekends". Uh, why not? Probably because he was married. For me, meeting someone is a bit of effort. You have to carve out time in a day to do it. I didn't want to make that kind of investment in someone who couldn't be bothered to make a 5 min phone call with me. Sent from my SM-G900V using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 So, 2 hrs passed and instead of Victor, Mateo called..I was confused at first as it was exactly the time Victor had said he'd call..lol. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes, I told him I'll be busy in the next few days (family dinners, etc) and we agreed I'll call him on Tuesday morning to arrange a meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 23, 2014 Author Share Posted December 23, 2014 Victor didn't call when he said he would. I waited for one more hour and then turned off my cell phone as it's quite late here. We'll see if he contacts me tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 Good luck MM. Its been a while since your last interesting date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Well, this morning I found 2 messages and a missed call by Victor. Message no1 (1 hour after the time he was supposed to call me): 'goodnight'. Message no2 (half an hour later): 'call me tomorrow any time you want'. Missed call at 9 am this morning. I emailed him saying I wish him well but I don't want to continue this. I'm totally over men who aren't even able of saying sorry and act as if they can get away with anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 He just emailed back A lesson you need to learn is not to pass on people you haven't met yet. I'll be around and I hope I'll meet you some time. Happy Christmas and good luck. What I read was 'blah blah blah' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 He sounds like a self-righteous douche. You two agreed on a time and he couldn't be bothered to call you at that time. When you say no thank, he blames you with a patronizing "A lesson you need to learn..." note. Ick. FTG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Yea what a douche, he was late, no apology at all and he has the balls to give YOU a lecture! What the.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Well, this morning I found 2 messages and a missed call by Victor. Message no1 (1 hour after the time he was supposed to call me): 'goodnight'. Message no2 (half an hour later): 'call me tomorrow any time you want'. Missed call at 9 am this morning. I emailed him saying I wish him well but I don't want to continue this. I'm totally over men who aren't even able of saying sorry and act as if they can get away with anything. Was there a reason he couldn't call an hour later as far as your schedule? (It's not like he didn't show up while you were waiting so if you had given him a reason why it needed to be at that time and not later that would be interesting information). I understand how you feel -I'd be annoyed too - but far more if he was late to actually meet me or if I said I could only talk at that time. I had a recent experience like this with a friend where we actually made a specific day to talk which was inconvenient for me (and she knew it) -she didn't take the call nor has she responded since then, 5 days ago - so in that case I am very annoyed. Not trying to make this about me just trying to explain my perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 Was there a reason he couldn't call an hour later as far as your schedule? No, except it was already late at night and I always turn my cell off at night...but, in any case, he didn't even try to call, he only sent that good night message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 He just emailed back A lesson you need to learn is not to pass on people you haven't met yet. I'll be around and I hope I'll meet you some time. Happy Christmas and good luck. What I read was 'blah blah blah' I really don't understand people sometimes. why do people act so casually when they are trying to date someone?? Obviously, he was interested enough in you, so why didn't he call when he said he would? It would be different if he had said, "sorry I didn't call you when I said I would - my boss had an emergency and I had to handle one of his meetings, etc...." That I would get. But like, if you say you'll call your boss at 1, you call your boss at 1, not call them the next day and tell them they're being too uptight or whatever for missing that call. blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 24, 2014 Author Share Posted December 24, 2014 I really don't understand people sometimes. why do people act so casually when they are trying to date someone?? I imagine it's because they've done it before and got away with it. It would be so easy instead of a 'goodnight' to message me with 'I'm sorry I didn't call but the meeting took much longer than expected and it's too late to call now'. And to think he's 54..he should know better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I imagine it's because they've done it before and got away with it. It would be so easy instead of a 'goodnight' to message me with 'I'm sorry I didn't call but the meeting took much longer than expected and it's too late to call now'. And to think he's 54..he should know better. I completely agree with you. I remember a guy pulling that with me with no apology and I then told him that I didn't want to meet him (because he didn't call when he said he would and had no apology) and he was really surprised. This is what it said to me - that other women tolerate his behavior and probably because he was a doctor (just my opinion!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I really don't understand people sometimes. why do people act so casually when they are trying to date someone?? 1. Lack of social skills. 2. They're flaky/hot and cold people. 3. They may be trying to game you with intermittent reinforcement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 1. Lack of social skills. 2. They're flaky/hot and cold people. 3. They may be trying to game you with intermittent reinforcement. I think that most people know to show up to interviews on time, put their best foot forward, etc... I think that the first date is like an interview in that regard. Look nice, show up on time, put your best self forward. Maybe I'm deluding myself and some hiring managers have some crazy stories?? Actually though, I remember my ex boss was interviewing someone - she showed up 20 minutes late, was very causally dressed for an interview, and then kept checking her phone during the interview because she was supposed to meet with a friend for coffee afterward. Needless to say, she didn't get the job (but it doesn't sound like she really wanted it either, so not sure why she was interviewing??) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 I think that most people know to show up to interviews on time, put their best foot forward, etc... I think that the first date is like an interview in that regard. Look nice, show up on time, put your best self forward. Maybe I'm deluding myself and some hiring managers have some crazy stories?? Actually though, I remember my ex boss was interviewing someone - she showed up 20 minutes late, was very causally dressed for an interview, and then kept checking her phone during the interview because she was supposed to meet with a friend for coffee afterward. Needless to say, she didn't get the job (but it doesn't sound like she really wanted it either, so not sure why she was interviewing??) I don't think you need to explain yourself in the least. Should be plain common sense and manners. He missed that day in kindergarten when basic manners were taught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 25, 2014 Author Share Posted December 25, 2014 Mateo and I exchanged Merry Christmas text messages and I told him I might be free on Monday and I'd call him on Monday morning. He said he'll wait for my phonecall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I called Mateo this morning. He sounded a bit weird at first, like he couldn't remember who I was but slowly he came around. He asked what I'm doing tonight, I said nothing and he suggested we meet at 6. I said 7 would be more convenient for me and he said he'll call me at around 5-6 to fix the date because 'he has some meetings' before. I was this close to tell him 'forget about it' but I figured let's give him a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Victor messaged me on the site a very warm good morning and happy new year. I replied with happy new year and that was just because I consider it bad luck not to return wishes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Circe Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hi missmarple.. That is so weird about Victor - is it possible he's forgotten what he texted to you and thought that YOU were meant to call HIM in two hours? So he waited for your call.. didn't get one. Just texted goodnight to see what was going on. Gave you benefit of the doubt and said call anytime tomorrow - and then himself called? Maybe not but it's just so Weird otherwise!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I've no idea what Victor is about but he just wrote back i still want to get to know you...here's a kiss for your stubborn but pretty head Circe...if that is the case, then he has a memory problem..and a cellphone problem as his message to me was right there in front of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 He might just have a lot going on. I forgot to pay my cleaning lady last week I know when I had more than one guy going on, I got confused sometimes too. One time I went to the wrong place Stuff like this happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I called Mateo this morning. He sounded a bit weird at first, like he couldn't remember who I was but slowly he came around. He asked what I'm doing tonight, I said nothing and he suggested we meet at 6. I said 7 would be more convenient for me and he said he'll call me at around 5-6 to fix the date because 'he has some meetings' before. I was this close to tell him 'forget about it' but I figured let's give him a chance. I would have just suggested (or ask him to suggest) another day instead, if he's that unsure about the timing. That way you both avoid the timing potentially not working out and leaving a bad taste in your mouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hi missmarple.. That is so weird about Victor - is it possible he's forgotten what he texted to you and thought that YOU were meant to call HIM in two hours? So he waited for your call.. didn't get one. Just texted goodnight to see what was going on. Gave you benefit of the doubt and said call anytime tomorrow - and then himself called? Maybe not but it's just so Weird otherwise!!! That's actually kind of the only explanation that makes sense. Otherwise it's just weird. MM some people are just bad with paying attention and keeping track of things (poor organisers perhaps?), I actually know a girl (23) like that, I liked her when we first met and decided to catch up for drinks. but she forgot/mixed up several details the two times that we hung out, even though the details are right there in text. Neither did she try to confirm the details with me (if she was unsure), so the only conclusion I had was that she's just really bad at paying attention to things, which annoyed me and I never hung out with her again haha.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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