missmarple Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well, to get to the role and timing of sex, I should first have a dating relationship..lol Fudgie, indeed, I can't say I've felt that romantic vibe often and the few times that I did, nothing came out of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Why do you think that is? Do you find that there is something usually "wrong" with the guys/the situation so that romantic vibes can't be felt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 I have no idea. There have been guys who tried to get romantic but it was guys I didn't like. I imagine online dating is like the lottery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigKK Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 missmarple, I'm a stats guy and been quietly following you for awhile (no stalker) This past year what is the number of second dates you went on? And have you had any where you wanted a second date, but the guy didn't want to? I agree with the lottery simile...I kept going on first dates and got really discouraged, and then with one girl I got a second date...a third....fourth.....wait a second does she like me?....fifth....sixth and so on. The funny thing is she said the same exact thing... I was her first second date in over a year since her relationship...so it's as if we both hit it out of the park. I'm wondering if you'll do the same, which is why I am asking the stat question. Although my girlfriend did once elude that it would of been nice if we waited to have sex since that build up is really fun, but we both agreed that our first time was electric on it's own and basically unstoppable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I think on line dating is like the lottery if you date on line. I think it's just like regular set ups or blind dates as you improve your screening techniques and as you minimize the time you spend on line chatting with the person before meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 missmarple, I'm a stats guy and been quietly following you for awhile (no stalker) This past year what is the number of second dates you went on? And have you had any where you wanted a second date, but the guy didn't want to? I went on a second date 4 or 5 times...and yes, there were other 4/5 times where I wanted a second date but the guy didn't ask me to or he did but he never followed up with it...latest case was the guy who texted and called the next day of the first date, said he'd call me within the week to go for drinks and he never did. I think on line dating is like the lottery if you date on line. I think it's just like regular set ups or blind dates as you improve your screening techniques and as you minimize the time you spend on line chatting with the person before meeting. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do to improve my screening techniques. I make sure I've seen lots of pics, I talk to them on the phone, I make sure they want (or, at least, seem to want) a serious relationship....and if I minimize the time I chat to them online any more, I'll be like 'hello, let's meet in 5 minutes'...LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I went on a second date 4 or 5 times...and yes, there were other 4/5 times where I wanted a second date but the guy didn't ask me to or he did but he never followed up with it...latest case was the guy who texted and called the next day of the first date, said he'd call me within the week to go for drinks and he never did. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do to improve my screening techniques. I make sure I've seen lots of pics, I talk to them on the phone, I make sure they want (or, at least, seem to want) a serious relationship....and if I minimize the time I chat to them online any more, I'll be like 'hello, let's meet in 5 minutes'...LOL I think your screening approach is excellent - one area I would work on if I were you is you tend to meet people who have potential dealbreakers as well -like the smoking/wants kids, etc (not recently though) -that might be altering your stats. I also think you've screened out too many people after or before a first meet for reasons like the "he didn't wish me a happy new year" - again those are your standards but unusual standards so in comparison to others you might not be getting as many second dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I also think you've screened out too many people after or before a first meet for reasons like the "he didn't wish me a happy new year" - again those are your standards but unusual standards so in comparison to others you might not be getting as many second dates. Too many people? I did that once with 2 guys, both of which I contacted myself later and I was wrong to do so...and I've gone out with over 100 men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 Too many people? I did that once with 2 guys, both of which I contacted myself later and I was wrong to do so...and I've gone out with over 100 men. Yes, I did too and my stats were that more than 50% asked me for a first real date after the first meet and I was interested in seeing more than 50% of them again (but it wasn't always the same ones who wanted to see me -there was significant overlap though). I'm not saying I'm "better" than you in any way -believe me! - maybe again it goes back to I was dating men who were marriage-minded and also family-minded so there might be a higher rate of interest in pursuing another date with the person, especially when we were in our 30s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I don't know what it is...maybe it's an age thing..people are more particular the older they are (I am, too) and they know what exactly they're looking for or don't want to waste any time to really get to know someone. Maybe it's what you said about people being family-minded, something that's missing in ages over 40. In any case, it's not like I'm looking for the handsome, rich prince with the 7 diplomas..lol..it's just that guys who're interested in me, don't interest me and vica versa. On other news, both Bryan (the guy I went out with the other day) and Zack (the guy I haven't met yet) talked to me on the site. I don't know what's up with Zack..he asked when I'm leaving and when I'll be back and if I'll get online from my holidays...I said no and he said ok, then, we'll talk here when you're back. We've talked 3-4 times online by now and he hasn't asked for my phone number. Weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 ..it's just that guys who're interested in me, don't interest me and vica versa. Substitute "women" for "guys" and you've described my OLD experience as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 4, 2014 Author Share Posted August 4, 2014 Well, I'm back from my holidays and I had a GREAT time \\ I really missed this journal! During my holidays, I talked to 2 from my 'online guys', the fireman and the teacher (too tired to look back for their names..lol) but, yeah, I'm not interested in either one. I did meet a guy I liked (a lot) but, unfortunately, he's married, so, nothing happened...just a little flirting that was a nice ego boost. That's all....tomorrow I'm back on the online game and, hopefully, with better luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 Kane, the 40yo fireman, is still trying. Unbelievable. He remembered the date I had told him I'd be back (he had messaged me the day my holiday was starting) and he called me last night but my cell was off. I don't understand men, I really don't. I would think that a woman who has gone on ONE date with you, a month ago, and has not agreed to meet you since and has never called/texted you first, is obviously not interested! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 What's wrong with Kane? Welcome back!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I don't understand men, I really don't. I would think that a woman who has gone on ONE date with you, a month ago, and has not agreed to meet you since and has never called/texted you first, is obviously not interested! Maybe tell them you're not interested anymore ? If they cannot fathom this by themselves give them a clue. You make sense of course, no updates/news after a month should be clear. Welcome back though, your journal is interesting from a male perspective (ie: what to do or not). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Kane, the 40yo fireman, is still trying. Unbelievable. He remembered the date I had told him I'd be back (he had messaged me the day my holiday was starting) and he called me last night but my cell was off. I don't understand men, I really don't. I would think that a woman who has gone on ONE date with you, a month ago, and has not agreed to meet you since and has never called/texted you first, is obviously not interested! And here I thought women valued persistence! lol Welcome back, miss m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 What's wrong with Kane? Nothing is wrong with him, I'm just not attracted to him at all and he's not the sort of person I could be friends with, either. Maybe tell them you're not interested anymore ? I was never interested. We only went on one date, one month ago, and I thought it was obvious that I wasn't interested. During that date, I had hardly talked to him, I never contacted him first afterwards and I've only replied to one out of his 4-5 text messages. The reason I don't know how to react is that he's never expressed an interest in dating me himself..I mean, he doesn't flirt or anything when he calls/texts, he acts friendly..so, aside from not replying at all, I don't know what else to do. And here I thought women valued persistence! lol I don't know about the rest but, personally, I never valued persistence...on the contrary, it annoys me when someone acts like 'they don't get it'. I'm probably paying the price of men meeting women who like to be chased...and they think they're just playing hard to get. But that's sooooooooo not like me. Oh, and thank you all for your welcome back wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodgeheg Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 aside from not replying at all, I don't know what else to do. Tell him you aren't interested. I agree he should have got the hint, but sometimes people don't, and if I got the impression a guy wouldn't take the hint then I told him straight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 Bryan, the teacher I went on one date with 3 weeks ago, messaged me on the site and we talked for a while. It's obvious we see each other as friends as he told me about an ex student of his (45..not a kid..lol) that he met yesterday and he had always liked and they exchanged phone numbers etc etc. He's a nice guy and I wouldn't mind staying on friendly terms with him...I may introduce him to some of my friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 New guy. Park is 54, 6ft tall, light brown hair/brown eyes, good looking, divorced for 6 years with 3 kids (triplets, 21, 2 boys and a girl, all in university), and a sales manager for a candy factory. We exchanged a few emails, then went to phone and we're meeting tomorrow. We didn't talk much on the phone (my choice) but he sounded normal enough and he was eager to meet. His last relationship was a few months ago and he hasn't met anyone from the site in person yet, I'll be the first one. To be continued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 7, 2014 Share Posted August 7, 2014 I think you're running out of names, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 7, 2014 Author Share Posted August 7, 2014 I think you're running out of names, lol. HAHA, true...I think I'll start using French names Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 8, 2014 Author Share Posted August 8, 2014 And...here we go again. Park texted me that he's not sure he can make it tonight and he'll let me know in an hour. Why do I even bother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 And...here we go again. Park texted me that he's not sure he can make it tonight and he'll let me know in an hour. Why do I even bother As far as "Parc" just take this as an individual situation - things do come up so just take a deep breath and you'll see if he handles this in a reliable, thoughtful way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted August 8, 2014 Share Posted August 8, 2014 And...here we go again. Park texted me that he's not sure he can make it tonight and he'll let me know in an hour. Why do I even bother It might be legit if he's super busy. Maybe not bury him right now, give him a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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