missmarple Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 Jon (the Pisces) texted back and we exchanged a few texts, mostly about Thursday. He told me I can call him whenever I want to chat, I said I'll call you on Thursday morning, he made some joke...it was fun. At least this time both guys seem have to have a sense of humour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 Jon just called me and we talked for a while...I found out something new about him. He's not happy with his job prospects here and he's been looking to move abroad for a while. He said it's only because of his kids that he hasn't left yet and that he's not sure he's going to leave at all. It was all rather confusing and I don't like confusing situations. I definitely don't want to go abroad so that could be a problem if something happened between us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Jon talked to me on the site...for over half an hour. He told me he's wearing 2 earrings and he has a rock style and asked me if I'm ok with it. I said that it's not my style but I don't mind if it's his...as long as the earrings are 2 and not 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 At least he'll be attentive!!!! lol I wonder if he'll be TOO attentive for your tastes! sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 At least he'll be attentive!!!! lol I wonder if he'll be TOO attentive for your tastes! sigh. Yes, that's what I'm wondering, too. Anyway, tonight is the date with the Gemini, Daren. To be continued... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firiel Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Yes, that's what I'm wondering, too. Anyway, tonight is the date with the Gemini, Daren. To be continued... Knowing the bits about your preferences that I've gleaned from this thread, I've been wondering too, missmarple. But this guy seems attentive in a completely sane way, even if it is overbearing for you. Unlike that other creepy guy, it seems like you could tell Jon that he needs to tone things down in order for it to work out between you two, and he could make a rational decision about whether toning things down would work for him. Looking forward to reading about your date with Daren! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Well, my date was Daren was very boring. He looked ok, a bit skinnier than I expected and he was wearing an earring and looked like a rocker (for a moment I thought 'wait, is that Jon' LOL) and he was polite, in general, but that was all. He spent an hour talking about his favourite topic..himself. I believe he only asked me 3 questions about myself: how long I've been single, if I can drive and if I've ever made love while listening to classical music ( ). He told me lots of things about his marriage (his wife was impossible etc etc), the music he likes (rock and classical), his job..and all that in a whining style that I hate. He likes his job but he wishes he could retire, he doesn't earn enough money, he hasn't been on vacation for 4 years, he wishes he could go abroad for work, his ex wife makes it difficult for him to see his son, his neck hurts blah blah blah. I couldn't wait for the date to be over. I just hope things will be better with Jon tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Lol, isn't Darren just a ray of sunshine? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 Lol, isn't Darren just a ray of sunshine? Haha, good one. The weird thing is that he was very different on the phone..I really thought that, at the very least, I'd have a good time tonight but..no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 I called Jon and we talked for a few. Our date is for 8.30pm. Hopefully, it will be better than last night's date. Also, Kane (the 40yo fireman) texted me that we could meet after 10pm tonight. I texted back that I'm busy and suggested Sunday and he replied ok, Sunday after 9 and he'll call me on Sunday morning. My last text to him said 'ok, as long as you call before 12'. We'll see if I ever get to meet this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Haha, good one. The weird thing is that he was very different on the phone..I really thought that, at the very least, I'd have a good time tonight but..no. Not weird in the least. I had several experiences like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 The date with Jon was much better than I expected. First of all, he was fatter than his pics and that made his face look better...he does have a round tummy but I don't mind. His eyes were great, a very pretty blue colour and had a killer smile, too (he didn't smile in any of his pics). The time passed very fast, we talked for the whole hour and a half we spent together. He was very sweet, talkative and flirty in a nice way. We talked a lot about star signs (he's very much into astrology) and the internet, and very little about our marriages and past relationships. I couldn't tell if he liked me or not and that's not a good sign. Usually, when someone is into me, I can tell. He didn't ask to see me again but he did mention 'when we meet again' at some point. I'd really like to see him again but with my luck, he will probably disappear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 I am really, really glad you had a good date -long time coming for you Miss Marple! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted July 3, 2014 Share Posted July 3, 2014 Sometimes people aren't as overt with their feelings as others. I hope you guys get to go out again. It sounds like you were attracted to him (and he to you, cause he was flirty) and you got along WELL...and that mental chemistry is the most important part, so I hope you guys go out again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 Thanks for the support, girls...and now, the waiting starts..oh, the joys of dating Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 I've heard nothing from Jon, so, I guess, that was that. However, I've just talked to and arranged a date for tomorrow with a new guy. Chad is 47, single, no kids, 6'4, black hair, green eyes and a sweet face. He's studied marketing in England, has worked in a few companies, then he opened a store, then he worked in insurance and now he's about to open a new store. He lives in his own house so, I imagine, he's comfortable financially...I think he must come from a well off family...it's not common in my country to go for studies abroad unless your parents can afford it. He was very open on the phone, we talked a lot about kids and he told me he never wanted to have any and that was why he never got married although, according to him, 4 women he was in LTRs with wanted to marry him. His reasoning was that he didn't want to share his gf/wife with kids. If I was younger and wanted to have kids, that might have put me off but, as things are, I don't mind. We also talked about animals...he said he loves them but he doesn't want to live with them, so, I asked what are his views on living with someone (because, for myself, I always have and always will live with a cat). He said he doesn't think it's necessary to live together, he likes his independence....I feel the same way, so, again, no problem there...I get to keep my cat if something happens between us..lol He's the sort of person who seems to know what he wants, at some points he reminded me of myself..and he laughs a lot...a good sign for me. He also likes football, so, it made sense that we agreed to meet tomorrow and watch Argentina-Belgium together. Also, he was very accommodating. He lives about half an hour away but he said he'll come over here and we can meet anywhere I want and that his first goal when he meets a woman (he's met many from the site) is to make her feel safe. So, our date is for tomorrow evening...and we'll see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodgeheg Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Chad sounds like an interesting prospect but I wouldn't write Jon off just yet! Although I guess he was very into contacting you before the date... At least you had a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 A guy I had gone on one date with about 6 months ago and we never got around to a second one (I wanted to but he had disappeared) emailed me on the site asking how I'm doing and if I'd like to go out for a coffee or something I replied with 'no, thank you'. On other news.............I saw Jon online and messaged him just saying hello, how are you...I figured he's on my list, we just went out last night, I should say something. Well, not only he didn't reply but he immediately went offline. I waited for a few minutes just in case he got disconnected and then deleted him. Some people are just jerks, I guess. I mean I've been out with so many guys I wasn't interested in but I never flat out ignored them if they said hello after the date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 You have no idea if he was physically at his computer when you sent the message, no idea if he had to suddenly sign off or got kicked off, if he automatically got signed on but wasn't looking -I think that was a rash decision. If you called him , heard him say hello, and then he hung up on you when he heard your voice I still would make sure that he wasn't disconnected out of his control (and couldn't call you back at that time). Why make these assumptions? This way he might think that you rejected him or at least that you made these assumptions without at least checking into the alternative scenarios. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I know lots of times it says guys are 'online' and they have just gotten off...but it says they are still on! Or i see they are on....by the time i write the message...they are off. MANY times i miss a guy just by 'minutes'...... I would give Jon a few more days too! But like you said, he was VERY attentive before....ugh. I hate it when the guys i like don't like me back! There's so few i like......lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 I don't think being attentive before meeting in person has any relevance to dating or how the person communicates while deciding whether to take someone on an actual date after meeting. I always preferred the person to be less attentive before meeting so that I didn't risk false expectations or make the first meet more awkward (because talking before can give the false impression that there's more likely to be a click in person). I hope you add him back on and give him the chance to contact you and ask you out on a proper date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Batya, it wasn't the first time after the date. He'd been online twice before and hadn't said a word. This was the third time when I decided to talk to him first...and I saw what happened. This is a guy who talked to me every time I went online and called me daily before the date....and once that he had gotten disconnected had immediatedly texted me..and after the date and for the next 24 hours he didn't contact me at all. I'm 150% sure that it was his (stupid) way of showing he's not interested...stupid because he could have just deleted me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Chad called me and we went over some final details (he hasn't been in this part of town in ages) and we're meeting half an hour before the match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Batya, it wasn't the first time after the date. He'd been online twice before and hadn't said a word. This was the third time when I decided to talk to him first...and I saw what happened. This is a guy who talked to me every time I went online and called me daily before the date....and once that he had gotten disconnected had immediatedly texted me..and after the date and for the next 24 hours he didn't contact me at all. I'm 150% sure that it was his (stupid) way of showing he's not interested...stupid because he could have just deleted me. I still think you're making a lot of assumptions, especially the last one. I would not contact him again (you don't need to -he will contact you if he wants to ask you out) but by deleting him he's going to assume you're not interested or that you jumped to conclusions where there might be a perfectly good explanation as to what happened that has nothing personal to do with you (for all you know one of his kids or friends signed on as him as one of many examples). Typing to him is not "talking" to him -it's just typing and you run the risk that the other person isn't there. If you called him on his phone and left a voicemail then I'd agree with you, or if he heard your voice and made some lame excuse and hung up, I'd agree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 I still think you're making a lot of assumptions, especially the last one. I would not contact him again (you don't need to -he will contact you if he wants to ask you out) but by deleting him he's going to assume you're not interested or that you jumped to conclusions where there might be a perfectly good explanation as to what happened that has nothing personal to do with you (for all you know one of his kids or friends signed on as him as one of many examples). Typing to him is not "talking" to him -it's just typing and you run the risk that the other person isn't there. If you called him on his phone and left a voicemail then I'd agree with you, or if he heard your voice and made some lame excuse and hung up, I'd agree with you. I don't think I'm making any assumptions. I go by what he had showed me before we went out and that was a guy who can't go a few hours without talking to someone he's interested in...either online or through email or through phone or through text. Sure, he could have had a fatal accident that changed his style overnight and he went 24 hours without even saying hello but I seriously doubt it. Also, maybe before we met he never got disconnected (except once when, as I said, had texted me immediately to let me know that he 'didn't just leave') but after we met, suddenly, his server went crazy or his kids (who live with their mum) decided to play with his computer (3 times in a day). Also, he could have lost his cellphone or my email address and my phone, too. But, really, I trust my experience in dating. Jon is the sort guy who, if he wanted to see me again, would be all over me after the date...even on the same night but, at least, some time in the next 24 hours. He told me himself during the date (I think I forgot to mention it) that when he's really into a woman, he makes it very obvious. He wasn't and that's that. If there's a 1% chance I'm wrong, I can live with it...24 hrs after the date, 3 online showings without as much as a hello and one unanswered message later, I didn't want to keep him on my list any longer. On other news: Chad is definitely an interesting guy. Very tall, beautiful eyes (something between grey and green), very talkative and we have enough things in common to make me want to see him again. I'm not sure if I could see myself with him (maybe he's a bit too loud for me) but I liked him nevertheless. He liked me, too, from what he said although he made a comment I didn't like. He said at some point 'hmmmm, after all, I like you but then you've done everything in your power to make me like you'. I said 'what??' and he said 'you've been pleasant, talkative and interesting to talk to'. I said 'well, it's not like I behaved like that to make you like me, it's how I am' and he said 'ok, we'll see'. I'm not sure what to make of that comment. Anyway, he told me we'll talk 'very soon' so, I guess, we'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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