annie24 Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I think 45 minutes is good for a first meet. To me it sounds fine....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Honestly, it sounds like a miscommunication. It sounds like you expecting more of a typical date (which would last hours) and he was expecting just very, very quick first meet-up with the intention of going out for a real date later. Aren't most meet-ups like that? Like him, I'd rather spend 45 min for a "first meet up", grab a drink or two or some coffee, and THEN actually go on a date later. That way you're not wasting more time or date money on people who aren't right for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 Yes, i agree. Particularly if he's been on a lot of dates with women who have lied about themselves, it sounds like he prefers a quick first meet. As men typically pay on the first dates, who wants to spend $$$$ on a woman who is not at all like her profile (or her profile is her 10 years ago). I'd give him another chance..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 If he prefers a quick first meet, then he shouldn't be making plans for Friday evening at 8.30pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 He did mention he has standing Friday night plans..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I don't necessarily think that's common knowledge. Plus, as annie said, he said earlier than he had plans that night. There is no right or wrong time for a quick first meet-up. I think it pays to be very direct and open next time so that this doesn't happen again. Clarify, is this a date-date, or just a quick first meet-up to see how we like each other and then go on a date later that week if we want? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 He did mention he has standing Friday night plans..... No, annie, he didn't. He had said he always meets his friends on Friday. I had told him ok, then, let's meet Wednesday and he had said 'no, I think THIS Friday we'll meet before 8.30'. This convo was 2-3 days ago and he never mentioned it again. So, naturally, I assumed he would meet his friends beforehand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 maybe when he said "we'll meet before 8:30" he meant you and him (not him and his friends!) it does sound like a communication error. I think he probably schedules it that way so if the date is awkward, he can leave early. But if the date is going well, he can schedule another date (as he did try to do....) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 maybe when he said "we'll meet before 8:30" he meant you and him (not him and his friends!) it does sound like a communication error. I think he probably schedules it that way so if the date is awkward, he can leave early. But if the date is going well, he can schedule another date (as he did try to do....) No, he didn't mean us..he meant his friends. It was clear. It wasn't a communication error. In any case, he's not getting another chance. This WAS his second chance after his mother's ankle. A third one he's not getting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I'm just saying, it sounds like you and he were thinking that tonight was about different things. Someone on here told me not to expect that everyone thinks like you or would react to a situation as you. Do you like this guy? Could you have seen a future with him? I understand, we both like to make plans in advance and know what is going on and where. And it's frustrating to deal with someone who is not so type A or scheduled. But maybe cut him some slack if you think he might be a good candidate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 27, 2014 Author Share Posted June 27, 2014 Well, I was already annoyed when he wouldn't tell me his son's name...and then, just as I was about to ask some questions about him (his hobbies and stuff like that) he paid. I just didn't like the way he handled the whole thing. He could have told me beforehand that you know what, I have to leave at 9.15 so I could have made other plans or, at the very least, we could have met earlier. 35 minutes is NOT my idea of a first meeting. Sure, a first meeting should be quick but I hadn't even finished my drink..and if it was HIS idea of a first meeting then why hadn't he told me that when he had mentioned his 'Friday date?' If he had said well, it will just be a first meeting and then I have time to meet my friends, at least, I'd be prepared. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 27, 2014 Share Posted June 27, 2014 I agree that the way he went about ending the meeting was bad manners. You have had some negative instinctive feelings about the guy from the start. It wasn't lost in me that his annoyance over women's dishonesty was all in regards to their appearances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 About Patrick I remembered that our first date (the one that he had cancelled because his mother had broken her ankle or so he had said) would have been on a Friday, too...and that time he hadn't mentioned anything about meeting friends every Friday. He only mentioned that detail this past week. My instinct tells me that he's hiding something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 2 new guys...and I'm meeting the first one tonight! Mack is 45, a diet consultant, single, no kids, 5'10, black hair and eyes, not very attractive but not ugly either. We talked through email for a while today and then he called me. He lives very close to me and he's been watching the World Cup matches, like myself, so it made sense to meet tonight and watch Brazil-Chile (go Brazil ) over a cup of coffee. The other guy, Daren, is 48, a plane engineer, divorced with a 16yo son who lives with his mum, 6ft tall, brown hair and eyes, better looking than Mack (in pics, at least). We spent about an hour on the phone, he's very open and easygoing, a Gemini and also lives close to me. He's an only child like myself and lives with his mum (that could be a problem later on, perhaps). We talked about many things and, eventually, we made a date for Wednesday at 8.30pm. PS Eddie texted me I'm Eddie, call me when you get this message. Yeah, right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 Mack was not only ugly and boring (thank God for the match and for Brazil qualifying....if it wasn't for that, I'd have been bored to death) with HUGE TEETH but also cheap. When it was time to go, I paid for both of us and he asked me 'how much do I owe you', pretending he couldn't read the bill..lol. I told him don't worry, it's fine and I couldn't wait to leave! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Oh ICK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 New guy. Jon is 46 (22 days younger than me as he said..lol), a computer technician, divorced with 2 kids (boy-16, girl-12), 6'1, light brown hair, blue eyes and quite athletic (he does martial arts). After a few emails he asked for my phone number and he called me and we talked for almost an hour. A good sense of humour, easygoing and nice overall. We have some things in common (he's a smoker, he likes animals and music and chess and knows his astrology - he's a Pisces) and some not in common (he must be the only man alive who doesn't watch the world cup...lol) and we ended our conversation by agreeing to meet on Thursday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 Ooh! He sounds like he might be a good match! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 I found an email by Jon saying damn, I look very old in that last pic (he had emailed me some more pics.. cute ones, in my opinion..in that last pic the 'problem' was his eyes looked a bit 'devilish'..lol...they're very light blue). I replied that he looks fine and not to be silly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 29, 2014 Author Share Posted June 29, 2014 Like a typical Pisces, Jon talked to me immediately when I went to the site for a few minutes (I accepted a new friend request by a guy but we haven't talked yet). Big difference to the Gemini, Daren (the one I have the date with for Wednesday) who hasn't contacted me at all since we arranged the date. I'm not sure which approach I prefer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted June 29, 2014 Share Posted June 29, 2014 I know which approach i prefer! Damn....the guy i met last Friday for the second time...and liked him...never hardly contacts me. I wrote a LONG email saying how much i enjoyed the night..etc. etc. ...and he emailed back, I enjoyed myself too! I should start a thread...but all it would be is complaining...ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 I texted Jon good morning today and he called me and we talked for a few minutes. It was nice...he's easy to talk to and very open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 Like a typical Pisces, Jon talked to me immediately when I went to the site for a few minutes (I accepted a new friend request by a guy but we haven't talked yet). Big difference to the Gemini, Daren (the one I have the date with for Wednesday) who hasn't contacted me at all since we arranged the date. I'm not sure which approach I prefer. I preferred getting to know men in person or on the phone (after we met - I liked having at least one phone convo before we met, to screen out certain dealbreakers and just see if I liked the sound of his voice, etc.). I didn't like the typing/talking before we met or too much typing after only one meet- I didn't think it gave much relevant information and it really had no connection to how well we would get along in person on those first few dates -in fact it could create a false sense of attachment and make things awkward in person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 30, 2014 Author Share Posted June 30, 2014 I just talked to Jon again..I went to the site to check my messages and he jumped on me. I didn't want to have a long convo but I think he's that type. He asked me about my cellphone connection and told me about the cheapest way to talk on the phone..I told him that I'm not a phone person, I only use it to arrange a date or for something serious and, in any case, for a few minutes at a time. He said ok but I'm not sure he understood how annoying I find it when someone calls me on the phone 'to chat'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 1, 2014 Author Share Posted July 1, 2014 I texted both Jon (my Thursday date to be) and Daren (my Wednesday date to be) good morning (I basically texted him because I was getting nervous that he hadn't contacted me at all since we talked 4 days ago and I wanted to make sure that our plans for tomorrow stand). Daren (the Gemini) called me a few minutes later and it was a very nice short chat..he has a great sense of humour. I asked him if we're on for tomorrow, he said of course..we're meeting at 8.30 at so and so cafe, don't worry, my memory is fine..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.