missmarple Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 Eddie starts reminding me of Jack. He was supposed to text to tell me if we can meet tomorrow and he sent this text: good afternoon, how are you? about tomorrow, I still don't know for sure but, if it's not a problem and if I'm not messing with your schedule, I'll let you know tomorrow ... I replied: good afternoon, ok, let me know when you're free and if I'm free, too, we can meet But what I was REALLY thinking was: You're single, you live alone, you get off work at 3pm every day and you can't plan a date? What kind of obligations do you have that you will only know if you're free at the last minute? I have a feeling that I'll never meet this one, just like with Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 I wouldn't have accepted a last minute scedule. Best to say 'I'd prefer to have something planned in advance for a day we can both meet, I prefer it that way, have a good day!' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 I wouldn't have accepted a last minute scedule. Best to say 'I'd prefer to have something planned in advance for a day we can both meet, I prefer it that way, have a good day!' I have said it. That's why he said 'if I'm not messing with your schedule' Because we've been through this many times. I tell him he has to let me know in advance, he starts joking, saying stuff like 'wow, are you so busy?' etc etc and we end up nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 I think your response was good miss marple. If this guy can't take the initiative, forget it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 10, 2014 Author Share Posted June 10, 2014 The date with Todd was nice. He didn't look as good as in his pics but he wasn't bad looking. A bit too thin for my liking (he's a normal weight, I just prefer men a bit bigger) but well-dressed and a very athletic body...he also seemed a bit older than his age (43). He came to the date with a gift...an orchid in a glass vase and, on top of that, he bought 2 roses for me from some girl who was going around, selling roses and told him 'you have to buy Angelina Jolie a rose' (I was Angelina, apparently..LOL). He was very friendly, very open, very talkative...and very everything, in general. He told me about his marriage and a relationship he had had after he was divorced with a woman 15 years his senior. His ex wife and his kids live in a town far away, where he used to live, too, although he grew up over here. After the divorce he managed to get a transfer and get back here where his mother and sister still live. He's close to his kids, though, he told me they come down here when they're off school, etc. The reason for the divorce was that his wife wanted to find herself or something..she was only 17 when they got married (he was 20) and the reason for breaking up with the woman he was involved with lately was because she couldn't accept his kids. In one hour and a half I found out everything about him, most of it without having to ask..and he found out very little about me. Not that he didn't pay attention to me, though. On the contrary, he paid me so many compliments I started feeling awkward. I look much younger than 46, I'm pretty (he said he likes me like 5 times), I seem like a great person, he can tell we have many things in common (we do have some) etc. Then, he told me that he gets his leave at the end of June and he has the key to a friend's seaside house and would I like to go there with him for a couple of weeks. When I said we'll see what happens until then and that I usually go on holidays at the end of July with a friend of mine he said 'hmmm maybe I could get some leave then, too'..admittedly, that scared me a bit! Overall, he seemed to like me a lot and what he mostly did was 'advertise' himself (he's giving, he's considerate, he's sensitive, he wants a steady relationship, etc). He even told me that his mother is a hair-dresser and his sister a nail artist, so, my hair and nails would be taken care of! It was all too much. After the date, when I got home, he called me almost immediately to compliment me some more...my clothes were great, the colours I was wearing awesome, my make up excellent etc etc. I'm still dizzy from all this. It's not my style at all but, on the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe he was very nervous (he's only met one other girl from the internet who he didn't like) and I may go out with him once more, I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 I would give him another date. He sounds really nice, maybe over eager, but nothing creepy or anything like that. Sounds like he may have just been nervous! Sent from Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 Wow, I'm curious what will happen next time (since it sounds like you are open to meeting for a second) with Todd. It really reminded me of someone I briefly dated. I met him through friends of mine (a couple), he was/is a friend of theirs. Unbeknownst to me, they pretty much set me up. I was invited to their home for a BBQ, and he was there, and they introduced us. He knew I'd be there, but I wasn't let in on it. I wasn't too impressed with that, but Igave him a shot anyways. It's not his fault my friend made a sneak attack like that. Anyways, he was super eager and even did the whole huge compliments thing and after our first date, after a talk on the phone, he was suggesting me coming out to his cabin for a weekend already. That freaked me out, I won't lie. He seemed like a nice enough guy, and cute, but it's just way too early in my opinion to be going out to the middle of nowhere with someone you barely know! We hadn't even kissed at this point. It ended rather abruptly when I wasn't responding fast enough for his liking, I think. I showed interest, we went on dates, but he came on really strong. Calling every day, making future plans, and he barely even knew me. I'm a rather straight forward (sometimes, actually, just not very good with tact) person, and had even asked him if he tended to move fast with women. He said "no, I don't think so. No one ever had a problem with it ; before you." Yeah. As strong as he came on, is as strong as he could act rejected at some of the simplest (to my mind, in dating) things. And that has been my general experience with men who want to move fast. There is some other motivation there besides you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 My take is that he is very serious about finding a relationship and is maybe too over eager. Itsallgrand has an interesting story - when she asked him to slow down, he didn't so that was disrespectful of him and clearly it wasn't a match. But hopefully this guy, MM, was just over-eager and laying it on too thick. Given that he was married at 20, and his wife initiated the divorce, it sounds to me like this guy just wants to settle down and likes being married. So if you like him, that works in your favor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 In your shoes, I'd give him another date or a few and see if he calms down a bit. Many people do get very anxious and nervous initially and lay it all on too thick. Once they calm down and get more comfortable with you, they are nice and normal. I'd keep an open mind...and eyes too lol....and see how it goes with him for a bit longer. It's one of those that could go either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 I agree with all of you...it's things I've thought about (I didn't sleep very well last night..lol). And I woke up this morning to 2 texts from him...one from last night wishing me good night and one sent at 5.30am (it's when he gets up) wishing me 'good morning my little flower' (I'm the little flower..lol). annie, he does like being married. His father had abandoned them when he was 10 or so and his mum raised him and his sister on her own. He told me that his goal in life has always been to be the exact opposite of his dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Todd has sent me 3 text messages and called me 3 times this morning. He asked me to meet tonight (again) but I told him I'm busy and maybe we could meet on Friday. He said it's ok but he hopes we'll keep talking until then (as if I have a choice). I feel pressured. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Geez. He needs to hang back a little. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Mark (46yo computer programmer, divorced with a 15yo son) is the guy I had exchanged a few emails with and I emailed him my phone number yesterday but he hadn't called. That guy is so good-looking that I even showed his pics to my best friend today (I rarely do that) and she was like 'where can I get me some of that' (and she's happily married..lol). Well, he called me a few minutes ago. His voice suits his looks, for sure...very sexy and, at the same time, sweet. We talked for about 10 minutes, very easily and I was thinking 'oh, wow, he's not only good-looking but also easygoing, clever and with a sense of humour! And then........he says 'look, I want to be honest with you'...and he told me the following: Apparently, for the past week or so he had been talking to some other girl and they met for the first time last night (that's why he hadn't called me)...and, according to him, 'something happened' between them. He didn't give me details so, I don't know if he meant just a kiss or more but the thing is that something did happen and she called him today, too, so it seems like something is going to start between them. He told me that he wasn't sure if he should call me or not but he figured he should call and tell me about it because he's not the type of guy who likes to play with women and he wouldn't want to meet me before he knows what will come out of the situation with the other girl. I thanked him for his honesty and I told him that, after many guys I've met online, it's the first time someone is that honest with me (it's never happened to me before, ever, although I'm sure other guys must have been in a similar position in the past but chose to meet me, anyway). I also told him that he can keep my phone number and my email address and if things don't work out with her, he can get back in touch with me and if I'm still single, we can arrange a meeting and see what happens. At this point I have to say that, although this turn of events was unfortunate for me, at the same time, it kinda restored my faith in men.... there are still some good guys out there...now, all I need, is to find one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Eddie texted me and, at first, he asked me to meet in an hour (!) because 'he has somewhere to go with his mum later'. I told him I can't and suggested tomorrow at 8. He asked if I can make it tomorrow at 5, I said no and asked what he's doing at 8. He said watching the World Cup with friends...however that's like 3 hours later..lol..I guess he didn't know I'm a football fan. He said 'oh, are you sure? my friends had told me it starts at 9' I said I'm sure and he said ok, I'll call you tomorrow afternoon to confirm. I said fine, just call before 3pm. Who wants to bet that he won't be able to make it tomorrow either? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Geez...Todd sounds like me! Know my whole life's history without even asking. You said you need to find 'one of those good guys'....he probably thinks that is what HE IS!!! Being the open, friendly, good guy! Buying you flowers, complimenting you.... Just doesn't realize he is coming on TOO STRONG!! He is just bowled over by your Angie looks!!! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 He is just bowled over by your Angie looks!!! lol HAHA, probably! Speaking of dear Todd, he sent me 2 more text messages (afternoon ones this time). One to ask how I'm doing and if I've rested enough and another one to say he can't wait for our next date. If he keeps this up, I doubt there will be a next date 3rd message 'I miss your voice and your sweet smile'. God, give me patience Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 You know you could just say something to him like "listen, I really can't do a lot of texting and calling throughout the day. Look forward to talking to you this evening at 7" You know, just clue him in. If he is a good guy, he'll take the hint. Maybe actually talk to him and reiterate nicely that you don't like to get overwhelmed and if he needs constant contact, it won't work out. Again, if he is sane, he'll get it and appreciate that you spoke up instead of just running away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Yeah...I like the 10 texts a day...but not after the FIRST meet! geez. Sounds like he'd be super clingy!!! Poor guy. I feel for him....he's my clone! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 You know you could just say something to him like "listen, I really can't do a lot of texting and calling throughout the day. Look forward to talking to you this evening at 7" You know, just clue him in. If he is a good guy, he'll take the hint. Maybe actually talk to him and reiterate nicely that you don't like to get overwhelmed and if he needs constant contact, it won't work out. Again, if he is sane, he'll get it and appreciate that you spoke up instead of just running away. I was thinking he'd take the hint when I only reply once every 3-4 texts but nope. After his second text this afternoon I texted back 'I'm a bit busy right now, will talk later'....and then, half an hour later he sent the 'I miss your voice' text. Also, during our date I had mentioned that I'm not a phone/text person but, apparently, it went over his head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 I was thinking he'd take the hint when I only reply once every 3-4 texts but nope. After his second text this afternoon I texted back 'I'm a bit busy right now, will talk later'....and then, half an hour later he sent the 'I miss your voice' text. Also, during our date I had mentioned that I'm not a phone/text person but, apparently, it went over his head. ooohhhh....yeah....ouch.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 Sounds like the guy can't take a hint. I would be very direct. "I am not a texting person; I don't like to text during the day". Some people are a little dense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 11, 2014 Author Share Posted June 11, 2014 Sounds like the guy can't take a hint. I would be very direct. "I am not a texting person; I don't like to text during the day". Some people are a little dense. If I tell him that, he'll just text during the night Edited to add: right on cue, he just texted to wish me goodnight and sweet dreams 'my little flower'...and God knows I hate such expressions Edited to add no2: I replied saying goodnight and his next message was 'They say that Venus is the brightest star..they are wrong...they haven't seen you'. Ok, I'm starting to get REALLY worried about this guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 11, 2014 Share Posted June 11, 2014 lol...I'd text him back with "you are starting to sound like a Nigerian scam artist". If that doesn't clue him in that you are not into this.... A friend of mine actually told a guy that either he knocks it off or she'll dump him in those words. It worked, he stopped and they are still happily together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 12, 2014 Share Posted June 12, 2014 I was thinking he'd take the hint when I only reply once every 3-4 texts but nope. After his second text this afternoon I texted back 'I'm a bit busy right now, will talk later'....and then, half an hour later he sent the 'I miss your voice' text. Also, during our date I had mentioned that I'm not a phone/text person but, apparently, it went over his head. I would distance himself -this has nothing to do with his interest level in you -it is all about him and his need for approval from anyone he latches on to (of course you are special and of course you should be recognized as such but this guy of course doesn't know you well enough to be typing what he is typing - and you don't need such a self-absorbed needy person in your life -run!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 12, 2014 Author Share Posted June 12, 2014 of course you are special and of course you should be recognized as such but this guy of course doesn't know you well enough to be typing what he is typing - and you don't need such a self-absorbed needy person in your life -run! This is exactly what I'm thinking to do. At 5.45 am there was one more text message, a good morning my little flower this time. I'm going to text him later that this isn't going to work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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