Batya33 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Jack texted me at 8pm Good evening...I couldn't make it tonight, that's why I didn't call you...call me later, if you want, I'll be at home Of course, the thing is, if he's going to be at home, why couldn't we have arranged to meet? It's Saturday night, it's not like we have to wake up early tomorrow. In any case, I'm done with him. I commend you for your patience up to this point. Beyond aggravating. Hit the road, Jack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Hit the road, Jack. LOL, Batya, good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 Blake called and we're meeting at 9.30pm. I hope he won't get lost..he hasn't been down here for years..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 1, 2014 Author Share Posted June 1, 2014 My second date with Blake was a failure by all accounts. First of all, he looked shorter and fatter than the first time. But that was the least of the problems. I was bored to death tonight. For the first half hour he kept talking about work (the company he's marketing), he brought me another catalogue and some toothpaste to try and, on top of it, he asked me to organise a meeting with my friends where he would show them their products. I felt like a customer! Then, I asked him about his last relationship (basically, because I desperately wanted to change the subject!) and that opened a can of worms. It turns out he's into 'exotic' women (any race but Caucasian) and he even told me why - Africans are better in bed, Asians are 'tighter' -. but, well, you can't meet many of them over here so he has to compromise with us white girls (he didn't use those exact words but that was the gist). Then, when I said I had to go, he started pressuring me to stay longer and made me feel very bad because he kept asking 'is it because you're not having a good time?' and me, being polite, didn't want to say YES. I paid for my own fruit juice (he had 2 vodkas) and finally left around midnight. Tomorrow I'll be sending him a 'nice to have met you but we're not compatible' email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 I agree that Blake is not a good match. The salesy stuff and inappropriate sexual/racial comments would bother me a great deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I had a feeling he wouldn't be good with all those constant phone calls. ugh. He's just using you for a business deal. I can't see you even lasting as long as you did! Just entered the dating world this week. Haven't had anyone to meetup with me yet. Maybe i should 'heal' first. sigh I sometimes wonder if I'm going to become that old, bitter , jaded woman hating all men. :sorrow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I just emailed Blake good morning..it was nice meeting you but I've thought about it and decided we're not compatible for the long run...good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Oh yuk. What a revolting man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Wondering if there are better ways to meet worthwhile men - I for one think I will give the online thing a miss - unless others can say they have had more positive experiences. A house painter came to my current abode last week.. He was quite gosh darn sexy - the dog liked him - and he told me he was widowed 18 months ago. Then when I was at the tip on the weekend, this guy in the car next to me unloading his junk called me "beautiful lady". Maybe you should get some quotes for trade work and go to the tip MM! Of course, it could be that both of those men were really married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 missmarple, I just got to reading your journal here. I almost forgot how brutal online dating can be. I really hope that you will find a prince among the frogs! Sent from Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 If I had a better way to meet single men my age, I would. As thing are, all the men in their 40s/50s that I meet through friends, work, events, etc, are either married/in relationships/butt ugly/not interested in me. Maybe my ex has cursed me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Somebody said to me a while back that once you get to a certain age, and I can't remember what age they said - that a whole lot more men become available - because they have become widowed. This guy, the painter was tall with a lovely build - not a Mr Universe type I would say - but perfect. He was attractive with a very cute smile. Told me he had been very happily married for 30 years until his wife died from cancer. He said he is still trying to come to terms with it, and also feels lonely and lost sometimes. I wouldn't get involved with someone at that stage, but there are likely to be men like that who friendship would be more enjoyable than dates with those icky types. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I think it can be difficult to meet good men at any age bu I think Silverbirch as a point. As people go into their 50s, some will lose their spouse to cancer or whatnot and after healing from their loss, they start dating again. Actually, I had an uncle who did just this. His wife died from breast cancer and he ended up going to a grief group for widows at his church and that's where he met his now-wife. missmarple, I am curious, and I apologize if you've answered this before, but are you on one or multiple dating sites? I have seen some ads on TV for dating sites that are geared more toward an older crowd, like 45-50 and beyond. Have you considered these as well? I only really have experience with Match. Tried to sign up for eHarmony and was told that no matches existed for me (let me tell you, that made me feel pretty bad at the time) but I've had reasonable luck with Match in the past. I'm hoping that I will not have to go back though in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Somebody said to me a while back that once you get to a certain age, and I can't remember what age they said - that a whole lot more men become available - because they have become widowed. The problem is that there are many more widows than widowers out there. At least, I know many more women who've lost their partners than men. I have met a few widowers (some online, some through friends) but they either had their kids living with them (ages ranging from very young kids to teenagers) or they were recently widowed and trying to move very fast...I imagine to 'replace' the partner they had lost. missmarple, I am curious, and I apologize if you've answered this before, but are you on one or multiple dating sites? I have seen some ads on TV for dating sites that are geared more toward an older crowd, like 45-50 and beyond. Have you considered these as well? Yes, I am on 3 of them but the problem isn't that I don't meet men that age. I do. The problem is that there's always something wrong..either with them or no chemistry whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Jack texted me Good Morning, how are you, how is your day going? I can be in (my neighbourhood) on Wednesday, would you like to meet? No, I wouldn't and I'm not going to reply to him. Enough is enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Blake called but I didn't pick up. I have no desire to talk to him ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 New guy...Josh, 48. I don't know many things about him except he's divorced, he has a kid/kids, a college degree and he lives close enough. He's 6'1, shaved head but sweet face with brown eyes and rather athletic body. He messaged me on the site but I was busy..then I messaged him back but he was busy..lol..and, eventually, he gave me his phone numbers, both cell and home, and I said I'll call him this afternoon..so, to be continued... Blake called again..again I didn't pick up. I imagine he hasn't checked his email yet or he'd say something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 Blake kept calling so, in the end, I sent him a text message 'I've sent you an email' and he called again! Obviously, he's read my email and he wants to make this difficult for me. However, the more he calls, the less I want to talk to him. Thank God he only has my cell phone number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 Yuck, good on you on not picking up. Do you have a way that you block numbers on your cell? Don't know if you use a smartphone but there are apps out there. Sent from Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 2, 2014 Author Share Posted June 2, 2014 I don't use a smartphone, unfortunately and I don't think my phone has that option..it's ancient..lol. But, if I've judged him right, he'll soon move on to the next..customer! On other news, I just talked to Josh. He's a computer programmer, he often travels abroad, he has a 17yo daughter and...the problem is he isn't divorced yet. Normally, that would be the end of our conversation but, for some reason, he made a very good impression on me...he was easygoing, talkative but not excessively and sounded serious. He told me he's been living on his own for 4 years, that he and the wife have both had other relationships since the break up, that they wanted to get a divorce but decided against it, for the time being, for financial reasons. I don't know how serious of an excuse that is but, since we arranged to meet tomorrow, I'll ask him in person again and decide. I figured I've given chances to many guys that turned out to be frogs, maybe I should give one to this one, too..at the very least, it should be a pleasant evening. Also, I've met one more guy...well, we've exchanged a few emails, that is. Seth is 40, single, no kids and a fireman. He's 6'1, brown hair and eyes, good looking, and seems like a nice guy. His last relationship lasted for 3 years and finished 3 months ago and he's told me he's interested in something serious and long term. More news about him to come as I'm sure we'll keep talking/meet eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 2, 2014 Share Posted June 2, 2014 I would assume that Josh is married because he wants to be. Whether it's for financial reasons, emotional reasons, a combination -he's married. It also tells you that he is not prioritizing remarrying or he'd have filed for divorce awhile ago. I guess no harm in meeting him unless he's lying and there's a risk his wife will find out you were out with her husband, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I would assume that Josh is married because he wants to be. Whether it's for financial reasons, emotional reasons, a combination -he's married. It also tells you that he is not prioritizing remarrying or he'd have filed for divorce awhile ago. I guess no harm in meeting him unless he's lying and there's a risk his wife will find out you were out with her husband, etc. ^This. Frankly, financial reasons are mostly bs that's difficult to argue with. When the divorce is amicable, as he seems to be implying, with them both already living separate lives and dating other people for 4 years, the cost of divorce is nothing more than a filing fee and a handshake. It ain't finances, sorry. If they are staying married, they are both choosing to. Personally, I wouldn't touch that kind of an "arrangement" with a ten foot pole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 My guess is one of them needs health insurance as a benefit of staying legally married -but even if that is it it is till his priority to stay married which means it is not as big a priority to be free to remarry or even to be in a serious relationship(because married people can't date let alone really commit to anyone else -who cares that he says he has been in serious relationships). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I met a guy a couple of years ago online....he had been living alone for a few years, but still married so she could be on his insurance. He put that in his profile. 2 years later, i saw him online again. Asked if he was still married. Yep, but in the process of selling his house...downsizing. He said he really had to get divorced because it kept women from wanting to date him!!! The woman that my ex left me for, was married. Not living together, but they had a business. They stayed together (well on paper) for financial reasons. After ex and her had been together for a few years, she got divorced. Then my ex dumped HER...lol ( i was glad since she didn't give a crap that i was engaged....grrrr) edit: ugh. some guy that i had been emailing all week online just messaged me. "I have 2 questions for you, have you ever had phone sex, and did you like it?" Ya know, i just got dumped a few days ago...I'm really not in the mood for AZZHOLES. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted June 3, 2014 Author Share Posted June 3, 2014 I don't know details about Josh's arrangement. To be honest, I'm at a point where I feel that nothing is going to come out of all this dating so my only expectation is to have a nice evening out with him. So far, the guys I liked never got back in touch, anyway..lol. I will ask him more, of course, but the impression I got from what he said was that neither he nor his wife plan on re-marrying (at least, not yet) so they saw no reason in getting an 'official' divorce. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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