missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 I have asked him many times. He's said he works 3 days a week from his office and the rest of the time he meets clients for lunches or something..he wasn't very clear. The thing is that this is a guy who only gets in touch once a week or every 10 days with a text message 2-3 hours before he can meet me...and that's ALWAYS in the day time...up until 5-6pm. I'm 99% sure that he has a gf or a wife..who knows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Hmmmmm...I just got an email by Sam. It's the guy I had called on Monday (as we had agreed) to plan a meeting and he had told me we'll talk later and he never got back in touch. This is what he wrote: Good afternoon, how are you? I haven't forgotten about you or ignored you. I had my son with me and it was difficult to make plans. I'll call you to arrange a date...if you're still interested, of course. It will have to be for Friday because today and tomorrow I'm busy with radio shows. Kisses I replied Thanks for the message. I'm fine but I'm not interested. Good luck Hopefully, that will teach him to treat women better in the future. I'm not holding out much hope but you never know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Yeah, I think even if he was with his son (which I don't doubt he was), he could have stepped away for 2 mins to send a message that he would make plans later in the week, or to make a call letting you know the same thing. I mean, this was over a week ago, right?! I almost feel like he's using his son as an excuse to be rude, because if you were to call him on it directly, he'd say of course his son comes first or something to that effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 What strikes me as different about your dating experiences from my own is that it seems like the date plans almost never get firmed up when you talk to them, but rather get left with maybe meet on x day, I'll call you later. Why do you think that is like that for you? As for the insurance guy, frankly, you made the right decision and should have dropped him long ago. Sales people are very available since their schedules are easily flexible. There is no reason why he couldn't manage a date when it's convenient for both and with advance notice. Especially given the fact that he really doesn't have any other obligations or commitments as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Yeah, I think even if he was with his son (which I don't doubt he was), he could have stepped away for 2 mins to send a message that he would make plans later in the week, or to make a call letting you know the same thing. I mean, this was over a week ago, right?! I almost feel like he's using his son as an excuse to be rude, because if you were to call him on it directly, he'd say of course his son comes first or something to that effect. No, it wasn't a week ago, it was 2 days ago, on Monday. Still, 2 days ago or 7 days ago, a text takes seconds....and he had been posting on F/B while he was 'busy with his son'. How much harder would it be to text 'sorry, too busy, will make plans later in the week'? Not to mention the way he talked to me on the phone...he had made me feel like I was bothering him! What strikes me as different about your dating experiences from my own is that it seems like the date plans almost never get firmed up when you talk to them, but rather get left with maybe meet on x day, I'll call you later. Why do you think that is like that for you? I have no idea. I do end up meeting many men but the same amount (or more) are guys who never confirm. The first time I'd tried online dating (8-9 years ago) it wasn't this bad and the only thing different was men's age. You would think that men in their 40s/50s would be more reliable but nope. And since I treat them all the same (I call when I say I will, I don't leave emails/texts unanswered, I'm polite, I don't play games), at least I'm sure it's not me. Anyway, I'm pleased with the number of men I do meet...I think I've met over 60 guys in less than a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Jack texted me in the afternoon 'Can I call you or are you sleeping?' Despite my better judgement I replied that I've just woken up...well, he never called...lol Right after, Blake called as expected. He asked me to meet on Friday, I told him I already have plans with friends and suggested Saturday but he has a business meeting and he can only make it after 11pm which is way too late for me for a second date. We finally agreed on Sunday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwixSense Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Jack texted me in the afternoon 'Can I call you or are you sleeping?' Despite my better judgement I replied that I've just woken up...well, he never called...lol Maybe saying "Ive just woken up" was the deterrent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 Maybe saying "Ive just woken up" was the deterrent. I think the deterrent was that his wife had just walked in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 When I woke up this morning I found a text by Jack. It had been sent at a quarter to midnight (!) and said I imagine it's too late to call you. We'll talk tomorrow I replied at around 9am saying that of course I had been sleeping at that time. He replied an hour later that he was heading to a client and have a nice day. I've no idea what's going on with him but my friends agree with me that something fishy is going on. Blake also texted me his everyday good morning message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 Blake called to confirm our date on Sunday. I told him I'll let him know tomorrow because there's a chance I'm going to work very early on Monday and, considering the distance, I may only be able to meet him early-ish. He was ok with that. What he wasn't ok with (and I'm not sure if this means anything but I didn't like it) was when he asked, out of the blue, how many men I've met through online dating. I didn't tell him the exact number but I said I've met enough. He then asked if anything had happened with any of them, I said no, apart from a relationship years ago. He asked why, I said (in a few words) that it depended on the case - some I didn't like, some didn't like me back, some were looking for different things etc etc. 'So', he said 'did you like any of them from the first date?'. I said yes and he said 'but the other day when I asked you if you like me, you said it's too soon to tell'. I had to explain that 'liking' meant I was interested in getting to know them better, as in going on one more date, just like I told him. He said 'oh, sorry, I didn't realise you meant it like that'. I feel weird about that exchange..even more because it happened on the phone. I hope it doesn't mean he's the insecure type (he doesn't strike me as insecure but this convo confused me). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Sounds insecure to me!!! And the calling everyday. I have a feeling you won't be seeing him.....lol....at least after the first meet. And he'll probably will still call and whine... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Yeah,I don't like the sound if that either, but also I thought you might have met more men by now who you would have been more compatible with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 30, 2014 Author Share Posted May 30, 2014 Jack texted me in the morning good morning, how are you..I just replied 'busy at work'. Blake also texted good morning and later on he called to find out about Sunday. I told him I couldn't talk but the plans stand and we'll arrange the details later. He asked what I'm doing tonight, I said I'm going out with a friend, he asked when and I was a bit taken aback by the question but he explained he asked because he wanted to know what time he can call me. Anyway, I told him that if we don't talk tonight, we can always talk tomorrow. It's getting to be a bit annoying talking to him night after night after night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Blake seems to be an insecure clinger type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I don't think there is any reason to have contact with Blake before the meeting unless you have to discuss the plan. Definitely too clingy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 30, 2014 Author Share Posted May 30, 2014 Blake texted me that he won't be able to call me before I leave and wished me a happy evening, etc. I texted back thanking him. Batya, I don't think there's a reason either but what can I do? A couple of times I've said I'm busy/can't talk but I can't tell him 'don't call me', can I? At least not yet..because the second date will be the decisive one...if I still feel as so and so as I do now, there won't be another chance..I just can't deal with one more week of phonecalls..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwixSense Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 I think the deterrent was that his wife had just walked in LOL oh yea. I forgot he was the shady dude. He probably does have a wife or girlfriend, or both. Pimpin ain't easy Haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Today I woke up feeling very ambivalent about Blake..even more than usual that is. I've been thinking to call and tell him that I feel we're not compatible enough and we shouldn't meet again at all. But, on the other hand, I'm thinking it's just one more date and maybe he does deserve one more chance. This is difficult Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Jack called. The short version is that he asked if I'm free tonight and he said he'll call me before 2pm to tell me a time and a place to meet..after 8pm. I was extremely hesitant but he insisted that nothing fishy is going on, he just works long hours, he doesn't have a gf, blah blah blah. This is the absolutely last chance he's going to get with me. If we don't meet tonight, I'm never replying to him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Blake called, asking about tomorrow. I told him that he'll have to drive down here (half hoping he'd say no..lol), he said ok...so, I will see him after all. Nothing from Jack yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Jack texted me at 8pm Good evening...I couldn't make it tonight, that's why I didn't call you...call me later, if you want, I'll be at home Of course, the thing is, if he's going to be at home, why couldn't we have arranged to meet? It's Saturday night, it's not like we have to wake up early tomorrow. In any case, I'm done with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 What strikes me as different about your dating experiences from my own is that it seems like the date plans almost never get firmed up when you talk to them, but rather get left with maybe meet on x day, I'll call you later. Why do you think that is like that for you? This. When a guy says, "would you like to meet?" I give him a place and a time. "Sure, does Starbucks on 9th at 11 am on Sunday work for you?" Don't give people options...or they won't make a decision. If it doesn't work, they'll usually said, "I can't do 11, but I can do anytime after 3." So you give them a time and a new location. I always pick something close to me (like a 15 minute walk) and I always pick a time that works best for me. They 95% of the time, oblige me. But I'm a total planner...I would go COMPLETELY insane if things were left to the day of. I plan things out a week in advance, it's concrete...I've never been stood up. Sometimes I've gotten a panicked call the day before to change the time...but that's rare. Maybe tell them what you want instead of waiting for them to offer it?...and see if that clears out the flakes like jack....because...that must be so frustrating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 When a guy says, "would you like to meet?" I give him a place and a time. "Sure, does Starbucks on 9th at 11 am on Sunday work for you?" Don't give people options...or they won't make a decision. In this particular case (Jack) I've always suggested a place and a time and he's never agreed. He's always said I'll let you know/call you etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 In this particular case (Jack) I've always suggested a place and a time and he's never agreed. He's always said I'll let you know/call you etc. I would have lost his number right away then. You are far more patient than I Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 I would have lost his number right away then. You are far more patient than I Yes, I know I should have. This time was the last though. It has gone on long enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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