missmarple Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 Ben (the one with the friend) messaged me on the site asking how I'm doing. I blocked him. I have no time for people who don't know what they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 New guy. Eddie, 49, single, no kids, 6'1, brown hair and eyes, interesting face, works for an electric company. We talked on the phone for a while, he's rather goofy and we laughed our butts off and he asked me to meet later. I said I can't tonight and he said he'll let me know when he's free this week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 My date with Jay (41, divorced with a 5yo daughter) was very pleasant. At first, I wasn't attracted to him at all..he's very tall and with a rather long face, not my usual type. However, I warmed up to him once we started talking. He's a very positive person, very easy to talk to and laughs a lot. He told me he likes me and he had a good time and would like to see me again and I said I'd like to see him again, too. The only 'problem' with him was that when I told him that I don't plan on havings kids, I felt like he tried to 'change my mind', so to speak...he mentioned a couple of his friends' wives who had kids at 45+ and, because his own ex wife had had IVF, he insisted it's not a big deal etc etc. I felt awkward because I kept saying I don't want to go through IVF or anything and he kept insisting...not for a long time but for 10-15 minutes, at least. Anyway, if we do go out again, I'll make sure I make myself clear(er). While I was out with Jay, Blake called. I told him I was out and he asked if I could call him when I get back home. So, I did. We talked for 10 minutes, he asked how my evening out was, he said he had stayed at home, that his week ahead is going to be busy, and then he managed to annoy me once more..lol. Last night he had given me a catalogue (from the company he's been marketing) and he asked me if I checked it out...or if I've checked their site. I said no and he said 'well, when you get online, take a look at the site'. I felt like I was a customer or something. When I told him I have to go, he asked when he can see me again, I said maybe by the end of the week as my own week will be busy, too (not true but I'm very much on the fence about him) and he said he'll call me. Finally, tomorrow morning I'll call Sam (43, lives close to me, divorced, 6yo son) to make plans for the evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Well, this is what happened with Sam. We had talked on Saturday and I had told him I'd call him today to make plans for the evening since we're both off work. So, I called his cell phone first but he wouldn't pick it up. Since he's also given me his home number, I called him there, too. An older lady answers (his mum, obviously), I ask for him, she says who is this, I say a friend...and then I hear her shout out 'Saaaaaaaaam...phone' and him replying (also shouting) 'who is it?' 'a friend' 'which friend?' 'I don't know, she's waiting'...all this in shouting...I was feeling more awkward with every passing second! Eventually, he came on the phone, I told him who I was and he goes 'I expected you to call on my cell phone', sounding rather annoyed. I said I did but you didn't pick up and he said 'yeah, I'm doing something with my son' (I had no idea he'd have his son today). I said I'm sorry (I shouldn't have...I called exactly when I had said I would!) and asked about tonight..and he said 'can we talk a bit later?', still sounding annoyed. By that point I was annoyed, too, of course. I said ok, call me when you get the time and he said ok. Right now I'm thinking that, even if he does call back, I'm not sure I want to go out with him at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Wow, if he really was that annoyed, you have to wonder why he even bothered to give you his home # in the first place? He should only be giving out his cell#... That said, I don't blame you for being annoyed by Sam, missm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 I just deleted Sam from everything. Because it's already afternoon, it's been 3 hours since I called him, and while he's been online and posting stuff on Facebook, he never bothered to even text me...much less return my call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Yes, I'd be done with Sam - I once called a guy on his cell about an hour or so after he gave it to me (certainly same day, and during the day) and the first thing he said to me was WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER??? That was it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 Blake called to ask how I'm doing, wished me a good week, asked about my schedule for tomorrow and (gently) suggested that I could call or text him first, too. Why is it that guys I'm not that interested in end up being more interested than guys I AM interested in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 26, 2014 Author Share Posted May 26, 2014 New guy. Ted is 55, also a teacher, divorced with no kids, 6ft, brown hair and eyes and a serious but attractive face. We have been exchanging emails for 2-3 days. He writes very well, he wants a serious relationship and he's only met 3 women from the site...and, according to him, they all turned out to have hidden 5 to 10(!) years from their age. Anyway, tonight he emailed me asking to meet in person. I replied that that would be nice and gave him my phone number... I expect he'll call me tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 26, 2014 Share Posted May 26, 2014 Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Why is it that guys I'm not that interested in end up being more interested than guys I AM interested in? Didn't you know??? That's the way it ALWAYS is! Happens to me all the time. I'm actually relieved when NEITHER of us like each other! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 OH. Lol, yes that happens to me too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Today, so far, I've done a lot of texting (I was bored at work ). I texted Blake good morning and he texted me back good morning sweetheart...kisses. I also texted Jack (the busy insurance agent I haven't met yet) asking if he's alive and he called me. He said tomorrow evening he may be able to make it to my part of town at around 8.30pm and he would call me in the morning. I said I'll call him myself because I'll be quite busy at work, he said ok....let's hope we'll finally get to meet (I don't expect anything from such a busy person, I'm just curious to see what he's like in person..lol). I finally texted Eddie (49, single, no kids, electric company, haven't met yet) to let him know I got some pics he had emailed me. He texted back and we talked for a bit. That's all for now. I've been waiting for Ted's phonecall, although, considering it's past 2pm, I think he would have already called if we were to meet tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 I don't think Jay (the 41yo guy I went out with on Sunday) is interested, despite what he had said. I've seen him 2-3 times on the site and he hasn't said a word. Combined with no text/phonecall/email since the date, it's obvious this is a dead end..which may be for the best, considering he seemed so eager about having one more child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Ted must have not gotten online earlier today because he emailed me a few minutes ago Ok, I'll call you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 And, instead of Ted, Blake called me. One thing that can be said about this guy is that he's consistent..lol...he hasn't missed one day. Like every day, he asked about my day, what I'm doing tomorrow, told me about his day, too...and when I said I had to go (I'm really NOT a phone person) he said 'we WILL meet by the end of the week, right?'. I said of course, I've already told you we will. If only I liked Blake as much as he seems to like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 27, 2014 Author Share Posted May 27, 2014 Ted did call, eventually. I can't say I liked his phone persona. First of all, he was typing online while we were talking (I could hear the keys) and I find that very rude. Second, I didn't like his voice...it just didn't agree with me, I felt like he was trying to hide something (hard to explain). Third, I didn't like some of his comments...about online dating: 'you must be getting tons of messages', 'men never get messages'..about his sister (I told him he's lucky to have a sister as I'm an only child) 'it's not always good to have siblings'..etc etc..in general, he sounds like the whiny type which I hate. Anyway, he said he'll have some free time during the weekend and I told him to call me on Friday...but I don't think I want to meet him at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 I emailed Ted, thanks for the phonecall but I don't think we're compatible and good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 So far: I've exchanged good morning texts with Blake. I've also exchanged a few texts with Jack. I was supposed to call him around 1pm to make plans for tonight after 8pm. Instead, he texted me at 12 saying 'I'll be at (my neighbourhood) at 4.30pm, can you meet me?' It was the 3rd or 4th time he did that but this time I had no more patience. I texted back 'no, I can't, I'm off work at 3 and I'll be too tired...look, you obviously have no time for dating, let's forget about it, good luck'. His reply (2 texts) 'You mean I don't have any free time when it suits you..because I've asked you many times and you always said no'. And 10 mins later 'Anyway, it's a weekday and we're both busy..we'll talk on the weekend'. I found those texts an hour later (too busy at work, phone off) and I replied: 'I mean that it seems like you can only squeeze me somewhere between your business dates and you've never asked me to meet in the evening..and you always ask at the last minute...and this has been going on for a month. You either have no time, as I said, or you have a gf you go out with in the evenings. Neither situation that appealing to me. So, I repeat..forget about it'. His last text to me was 'Ok...when you're in (his part of town) call me and we'll meet'. He's so full of it. I asked a friend of mine who lives close to him how long the trip is to get over here...and it's just 40 minutes IF there's traffic...20 to 30 minutes on a normal day. Anyway, I'm not going to bother with him any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Ted emailed me back: I'm sorry about your decision. I still think we should have at least met once. I hope that, in time, you'll reconsider things. Good luck. If I hadn't talked to him on the phone, I might have been tempted to go to that one meeting. But I did and it just wouldn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I think you should have told him the first time that you need a bit more advance notice. I think you should have met him at 4:30 if possible or at least made up a more compelling excuse than "too tired after work" (we all are!!) - for some people 20-30 minutes is not a short drive and he might not understand completely that you don't drive (I don't think you do). Maybe give him one more chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I think you should have told him the first time that you need a bit more advance notice. I think you should have met him at 4:30 if possible or at least made up a more compelling excuse than "too tired after work" (we all are!!) - for some people 20-30 minutes is not a short drive and he might not understand completely that you don't drive (I don't think you do). Maybe give him one more chance? 30 minutes of driving is nothing. That's not even half way accross my city... I thought you should have met him as well, Miss Marple. I'm a busy person. I'm in school full time, a single parent, starting a business, and I have a full time evening and weekend job caring for people with developmental disabilities. But I'm awesome (I swear ). I'm a great gf. I just don't have the ability to plan things out...because I never know when an emergency will happen (and they do frequently). The first time I met my bf, one of those instances came up...where I needed to meet him an hour later, and on the other side of town (we were originally going to meet in the middle- but I ended up on the other side of town, almost an hour away from him) and he made it work. He still makes things work....if I get a random night off, he cancels whatever he was doing to see me. And in return, I give him almost all my free time. We have a lot of fun together. I can see myself marrying him. I know in online dating...you meet so many flakes. So many time wasters. So many idiots. Your bulls**t meter becomes very low. I get it. I don't tolerate much from other people either...but sometimes...you have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Like...an honest chance. Because...sometimes, they'll blow you out of the water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 I think you should have told him the first time that you need a bit more advance notice. I think you should have met him at 4:30 if possible or at least made up a more compelling excuse than "too tired after work" (we all are!!) - for some people 20-30 minutes is not a short drive and he might not understand completely that you don't drive (I don't think you do). Maybe give him one more chance? Batya, I've told him I need a bit more advance notice at least 3 times so far...all within the last month. Every time he texted me 'hey, are you free at...' and every time I said 'I need to know the day before' and every time he said 'ok'. Today was the last straw because, if you go to the page before, we had agreed we'd meet after 8pm! And he did the exact same thing...text at 12, are you free at 4.30? 20-30 minutes is certainly a manageable drive if you really want to meet someone....some of my friends drive more than that for work (we live in a big city, half an hour is, really, not a big deal). In any case, he does know I don't drive and I've even offered to meet half-way but the problem has always been last minute plans and always early in the afternoon...the combination of the two finally got me thinking that something isn't right with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 I'm a busy person. I'm in school full time, a single parent, starting a business, and I have a full time evening and weekend job caring for people with developmental disabilities. He, on the other hand, is an insurance agent, single, no kids, he lives alone and has no other obligations (the only thing he's told me he does in his free time is sports). Spot the differences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 He, on the other hand, is an insurance agent, single, no kids, he lives alone and has no other obligations (the only thing he's told me he does in his free time is sports). Spot the differences Oh, I thought he was the self employed guy...because...being self employed is a 12 hour a day job Have you asked him what he is so busy with? Does he do sports 6 nights a week? (My ex played hockey 6 nights a week...it was hard to schedule things around but after dating a bit it becomes easier- he just came over after even if I was in bed already). Does insurance involve meeting clients at their houses after hours? or do you mean like...car insurance? Maybe he's booked up evenings and weekends with clients (when they're off work)? Or maybe your gut is right and he has a gf....because...that is odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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