missmarple Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 New guy. Gideon, 48, a retired police officer, has been divorced for 4 years and has 2 kids (boy 18, girl 16) who live with him. He's 5'10, brown hair and eyes, a ponytail (!), very athletic (goes to the gym 4 times a week), non smoker (he used to smoke but he quit) and is into motorbikes. I called him and although, on the surface, he seems very different to me, on the phone he sounded very sweet and low-profile and told me himself that he's rather shy. He talked to me about his ex wife....she is much younger than him and works away from our city, that's why the kids live with him. He said many women have a problem with that and I told him that, considering his kids aren't babies, I don't mind. His son is leaving for university in September, anyway, and he told me both his kids have their friends and their life. He also told me his last relationship was 5 months ago with a woman who wanted to get married after 3 months and that's why they broke up. I told him that marriage isn't in my plans so we wouldn't have a problem. Also, he lives very close to me (about 15 mins away) which makes it easier to meet. The only 'problem' was that, during our chat, his phone went dead. I texted him that he can call me when his phone is back on and, hopefully, he will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 18, 2014 Author Share Posted May 18, 2014 Gideon did call back (he had had a bit of an emergency with his daughter) and we talked some more. I found out that he comes from a small town, a couple of hours away from here and he moved to the city in 2006. Also, he does have a car, too, not just a motorbike (thank God!) and he loves animals. I told him that we should meet and he suggested tomorrow and, just like that, we agreed to meet at 7.30pm. Fingers crossed that this date will, at least, go ahead as planned PS Ben has been online on the site all afternoon...so much for 'the friend from abroad' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Ben messaged me on the site today. He said he's 'coming down with a cold', I said I'm sorry and then left as I was in no mood for b/s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 The date with Gideon was nice, in general. He's good looking and looks much younger than his age, very trendy, although a bit shorter than he had said...maybe 5'8 instead of 5'10. He is really shy, as he had said. He answered all my questions, talked a lot about his family (his ex wife is 13 years younger - when they got married she was only 18 - and he's always been the one to look after the kids...and the house, cooking, cleaning etc)..and after an hour I felt I knew almost everything about him. He told me he wants a serious relationship but doesn't plan on getting married again, at least not until his daughter goes to university, too..in 2 years...which is fine by me as I don't want to get married again. His only relationship after his divorce (4 years ago) lasted for 3 months and ended because the woman wanted to get married and have a kid with him (she already had 2 of her own from her divorce). He also told me he prefers when the woman takes the initiative in the first stages of dating...and, as you all know, that's not like me at all. When it was time to go I told him 'see you' and he said it's up to me. I said nope, it's up to you...you have my number and you can contact me on the site, too, if you want...and left it at that. Overall, he's a nice guy, not exactly the intellectual type that I usually go for but I'll give him a chance IF he decides to ask me out again as I certainly won't. Funny detail after 45 minutes or so of me asking questions and him answering and seeing that he was the type who needed encouragement I said 'so, is there something you want to ask about me?'.....and he said....................................'ummmm where is the toilet?' I swear I almost choked on my coffee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 LOL I just went to the site and Gideon has deleted me from his friends' list. Guess he didn't like my 'it's up to you' comment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
valerie25 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 LOL I just went to the site and Gideon has deleted me from his friends' list. Guess he didn't like my 'it's up to you' comment Good for you! You don't need a passive guy like him anyway... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Good for you! You don't need a passive guy like him anyway... Completely agree. I did feel slightly sorry for the guy if he really had to "go" but when he returned from the toilet he should have asked you about you LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 Today is my name day (big thing in my country, bigger than birthdays). So far, I've got 2 messages (from online dating guys, that is)...one from Jack, the very busy insurance agent I have yet to meet in person and one from Alex, the non-smoker I had gone on one date with a couple months ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 22, 2014 Author Share Posted May 22, 2014 New guy. Blake, 49, a teacher, single, no kids, 6ft, brown hair and eyes, goatee, rather attractive in his pics. He lives one hour away but he said it's not a problem. He called me and we talked for a while. He said he loves animals, he's been engaged before but it didn't work out and he's looking for a serious relationship. He also laughed a lot. And he can cook..always a plus. He asked if I'd like to meet some time during the weekend, I said sure but we didn't make any plans, he said he'll call me again and I can call him any time I want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 Blake sounds promising! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 23, 2014 Author Share Posted May 23, 2014 Blake called me and we had a nice chat for a few minutes. He asked what I'm doing tonight, I said I'm going out with some girlfriends, he wished me a good time and then he asked if I'm free tomorrow. I said I am and we agreed he'll call me in the afternoon to make a date for the evening. He sounds like a really nice guy with a great sense of humour and I believe we'll have lots of fun if/when we meet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 Blake texted me last night while I was out with my friends and asked what I was having (I had told him we'd go to a seafood restaurant and he loves seafood, as do I). We exchanged a couple of pleasant texts and he said he can't wait to see me tomorrow...so, today, I'll be waiting for his phone call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 New guy. Sam is 43, divorced with a 6yo son who lives with his mum, 5'8, brown hair/eyes, a nice smile, and a civil servant. He lives very close to me and has actually graduated from the same school I work at. He's studied abroad (lived in Italy for 3 years) and he's also a radio producer. We talked on the phone for a while and he loved my voice and he even said he has a proposal to make when we meet (no, not marriage proposal..lol..I think it's probably to do with a radio show or something). He said he wants something serious, that he's been very disappointed with the women he's met from the site so far because the ones he liked either gived mixed signals or only wanted to sleep with him..and a few turned out to be married. He also told me a few things about his marriage (he got the divorce 2 years ago) and the trips he used to take with his ex wife (he's the first person I've known who has been to China!). At some point I told him that he sounds selfish as he hadn't asked anything about me...he said it's because he didn't want to be too forward or rude. I guess we'll see about that when we meet. We are both free on Monday and I told him I'll call him in the morning to confirm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 Blake just called and we're on for 9pm tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Have fun with Blake! Was Sam surprised that you called him "selfish"? I used to say something like "so do you have any questions for me?" and if the answer was no or not actual questions I ended the call politely and didn't meet him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 Was Sam surprised that you called him "selfish"? Not really. I mean he didn't get defensive or anything. He simply said that he didn't want to come accross as rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Not really. I mean he didn't get defensive or anything. He simply said that he didn't want to come accross as rude. I understand - I'm surprised you would criticize him in that way when there could be a number of reasons he hadn't asked about you (or asked, yet). Are you feeling burnt out by the flaky guys? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 I understand - I'm surprised you would criticize him in that way when there could be a number of reasons he hadn't asked about you (or asked, yet). Are you feeling burnt out by the flaky guys? No, that wasn't the reason. But after having listened to Gideon for 2 hrs the other day, talking about his family, his kids, his job etc etc, I wasn't in the mood for another one of the same..and Sam kept going on about himself so, I figured, if he gets angry or snaps at me or something...not a big loss. But he handled it well. Meanwhile...one more new guy (it's the weekend ) Jay, 41, bus driver, divorced with a 5yo daughter who he gets every second weekend (he has her this one), 6'3, brown hair and eyes, quite attractive. We talked on the site for a few minutes, he said he believes in meeting in person asap and he asked for my phone number. He's going to call me this afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 Jay called. We couldn't really talk much because his daughter wouldn't leave him alone (the perks of having so young kids..lol) but, eventually, he managed to ask me to meet tomorrow evening, after he drops her off to her mum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 24, 2014 Author Share Posted May 24, 2014 The date with Blake was long (almost 3 hours) and had both good and bad moments. He was shorter than what he had said (that is getting to be the norm with net guys!), maybe 5'9, but, apart from that, he looked exactly like his pics and younger than his age (49). He kissed me on the cheek when we met and gave me a red rose. The first thing that rather annoyed me was when we sat down and he called someone (a friend, I imagine) to just say that 'everything is fine'...obviously he had told that friend to call him with an excuse in case he didn't like me..and I found it kinda rude that he made that call in front of me. Anyway, our conversation was pleasant. He was talkative, joked a lot, touched me a lot (but not in a rude way) and paid me lots of compliments...I look 38, I'm a doll, my skin is soft like a baby's, I seem to know what I want, I have a great sense of humour, I am mature, etc, etc. I did return a couple of them but, frankly, I wasn't that taken with him as he seemed to be with me. He's obviously very well educated and polite and easy to talk to but not exactly my type...he's a bit too loud and a bit too 'cool' for my liking. He talked to the waitresses like he'd known them for ever and he even gave his business card to one of them (it was for business...apart from teaching, he's also doing the marketing for some company). At some point he asked me what I thought of him, if I want to see him again and if I can see any 'future'. I answered honestly that he seems nice and pleasant and I'd like to see him again but I've no idea if we could have any future, it's just too early to tell. And then I saw the time. It was almost midnight, so, I told him I had to go and asked him where could I find a taxi...and that's when he made a big mistake. He told me not to worry, it would be easy to find one. Now, the thing is that because he lives 1 hour away and doesn't know my part of town very well, I had agreed to meet him half way and, actually, closer to his house than to mine. That meant I had taken a taxi to get there (it took 40 mins) and he knows I don't drive. He, on the other hand, had only driven 15 mins to meet me...so, when I asked about a taxi, I expected him to offer to drive me home or, at least, somewhere closer to home. But he didn't. That really made a very bad impression on me.....it was the first time I met someone so far away and, especially at that late hour, he didn't offer to drive me home. I wouldn't have accepted his offer but I think he should have offered. Anyway, when I came back home he texted me just one word 'enchanted'. I texted back thanks and good night. My conclusion is that if he asks to meet again, I'll tell him that this time he'll have to drive over here or find someone to date who lives closer to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hodgeheg Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 I'm not sure about the taxi thing but he seems too much of a smooth talker for my liking. It doesn't seem like he made a great first impression but we'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Maybe Blake has been burned by offering rides where the women think he's after more than just company in the car, etc. I do think he should have waited until you were safely in a taxi -doesn't matter if he's from there or not. I don't think you need to tell him to find someone to date who lives closer to him - simply tell him that since you don't drive you'd prefer if you met in your area this time. My friend married a guy who didn't walk her to her car on an icy night where she had to walk accross a huge parking lot. He also lied about his age (which was why I declined to meet him when I responded to his on line profile on the same site). I would not have liked that but I guess cover for every pot... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 Yeah I wouldn't judge BLAKE by the taxi situation. If it were me, depending on how the night went I might assume that the woman asked about a taxi because she hadn't reached the level of trust to be alone in my car yet. Agree also that he might be too much of a smooth talker, but he seems deserving of another chance if you're interested and he initiates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenny_mcs Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 In situations like this it almost seems like the guy can't win. If he doesn't offer the ride, he's made a "big mistake" and you think he's rude or selfish or not thoughtful, or whatever. If he does offer the ride, he opens himself up to being though of as too aggressive, or presumptuous. I imagine he probably realizes that any intelligent, aware woman is probably not going to take him up on his ride offer. So why go through the whole charade? I think you should keep on open mind and not hold this against him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 25, 2014 Author Share Posted May 25, 2014 Well, I've never thought someone was 'aggressive' if he offered to drive me home, especially if I was so far away from home and at a place I hardly knew..and at midnight! I have maybe been to that part of town twice in my life..and I told him that. Anyway, as I said, I will give him one more chance if he asks and if he's willing to drive over here. All other things aside, I just can't afford to pay 30-40 euros (that's 40 to 50 USD) every time we meet. On other news, I just had a phone fight with an idiot..well, not a fight but he got on my nerves and I hang up on him (something I rarely do). Some 49yo guy...I had exchanged a couple of emails with him, he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him (cell phone) and he called. Things were going ok when he asked for my home number. I told him that I'd rather meet him first before I'm comfortable enough to give him that number and he said that I'm 'insane'. I explained that I share a home number with my parents (they live next to me) and I just don't want to give that number to every guy I talk to before I, at least, go out with him and see what he's like in person as, in the past, I had had phonecalls at midnight or even later (that was when I had first started online dating and didn't know any better!) He said that's crazy and 'not cool at all' and, at that point, I said goodbye. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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