DancingFool Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 So are you going to tell him the truth about why you bailed? Not that he is fat and bald, but that he should post honest pics if he wants a date to go forward. Anyway, I think you dodged a bullet. I kind of thought that he was being obsessively pushy with all the contacting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 So are you going to tell him the truth about why you bailed? Not that he is fat and bald, but that he should post honest pics if he wants a date to go forward. I'm going back and forth about that. On the one hand, I want to tell him. On the other hand, I have a feeling that if I'm honest with him, I won't get rid of him that easily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I'm going back and forth about that. On the one hand, I want to tell him. On the other hand, I have a feeling that if I'm honest with him, I won't get rid of him that easily. Well...since you told him that something came up, don't you think he'll be pursuing you anyway for another date? I doubt he'll go away if you just keep telling him that you need to wash your hair and will be busy for the next 5 months doing it. Unless he saw you in the taxi and knows he got stood up that is. Eh, I don't know. I personally never had the balls to say anything. Although, I know other women have and it worked, in that the guys posted honest pics. I can't imagine anything more humiliating as a date turning on their heal and walking off after telling the person off about old pics. Actually saw that go down once. Felt sorry for the dude to be honest, but then again, he kind of earned it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 My opinion is that if you misrepresent yourself in your profile, you should expect to be admonished for it at some point. So I have no sympathy for this guy. As for what MissM should do, it's true that the guy might become MORE clingy - and even abusive - if told off, even in a completely constructive way. So I wouldn't blame her for walking away without a word. Even though his next "victim" might appreciate it if she did! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 I really don't know what to do. I think it will depend on how much he will insist. On other news, a 37yo guy (quite attractive, too) keeps sending me messages and I keep telling him he's too young for me. It is flattering though...especially tonight that my mood has been real bad after what happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 Maybe the 37 year old is actually 47, in which case he is perfect for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quirky Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I would definitely say something to Marvin. I would have pulled up in the taxi in front of him and drive straight through just after he'd had seen me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 Maybe the 37 year old is actually 47, in which case he is perfect for you! LOL, anything is possible with so many liars around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 I think that Marvin realised something was up because he was on the site and didn't talk to me which is very unusual for him. I feel relieved..hopefully, this will be the end of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I still have this weird feeling that it might not have been him but of course I defer to you -I'm sorry this happened to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 30, 2014 Author Share Posted April 30, 2014 No, Batya, it was definitely him. Even if everything else (time, location, clothes, telling me he had been waiting for me) was a coincidence, the face can't have been the same - unless he has an evil twin..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwixSense Posted April 30, 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2014 I don't think you owe Marvin anything, no explanation whatsoever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 No, Batya, it was definitely him. Even if everything else (time, location, clothes, telling me he had been waiting for me) was a coincidence, the face can't have been the same - unless he has an evil twin..lol Seriously, what do these people think they have to gain by posting inaccurate photos? The only time I understood the motive and sympathized to a degree was when he posted a photo showing only half of his face because the other half was deformed and deeply scarred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Seriously, what do these people think they have to gain by posting inaccurate photos? The only time I understood the motive and sympathized to a degree was when he posted a photo showing only half of his face because the other half was deformed and deeply scarred. Not only did he post inaccurate pics but he lied, too. I mean, if he exercises, like he said, then, I'm the Pope! Unless he considers playing football with friends once a week exercise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Marvin didn't send a good morning message today...good sign! On other news..the 37yo guy wrote me in one of his messages that he doesn't care about having kids and he just wants a serious relationship so, I gave him my email and told him to email me with more details about himself. It's very doubtful that anything will come out of this but he insisted so much I thought why not give him a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Well, Marvin sent me an email on the site. It said: i don't know what to say about your character and i don't want to because my words would be very cruel..your attitude, even last night (I guess he means when we 'met' on the site after the 'date') shows many things...all i can say is SHAME ON YOU My first instinct was to send him back a reply telling him who should be ashamed and why but I thought again and decided to do nothing as I'm sure it would lead to more trouble with him. I just took him off my list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 Gael called me and we have a date for 8pm tonight. Hopefully, this date will, at least, go on as planned..because this week has been awful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 1, 2014 Share Posted May 1, 2014 I think Marvin may have seen you in the taxi. I think you did the right thing by not replying -obviously he has serious issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 I think Marvin may have seen you in the taxi. I think you did the right thing by not replying -obviously he has serious issues. I'm 99% sure that he didn't see me (lots of traffic and he was looking at his watch when the taxi passed by him) but who knows? In any case, I did have an idea that he might have some issues (too many texts/phonecalls/questions) but now I'm sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2014 Author Share Posted May 1, 2014 The date with Gael was nice, in general. He's an attractive guy, better looking than his pics, very talkative and smiles a lot. He told me a lot about his marriage and a couple of his relationships..nothing alarming, except he did cheat on his wife. He said it was when their marriage was already on the rocks but who knows? He's also had a couple of relationships with colleagues (from the same school - big no-no for me). He asked about my life, too, but he had talked so much by that time that I had to go..lol. Anyway, he asked me to stay later, I couldn't, he said we'll meet again for drinks next time but didn't say when, he just said he'll be in touch. I'd like to see him again as he's very pleasant but I'll leave it up to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 He probably thought you weren't interested since you wouldn't stay... If i ever meet with a guy....(which i haven't been! lol) i have the whole night free! I did go out to eat and dance with someone last Fri. Ended up being my sister's husband's cousin. And i drove an hour to meet him. He lives almost 2 hours away. eh. This Sat. I'm driving to a state park that is over an hour away, to meet a guy that lives and hour and a half away. We're going to hike and possibly kayak. hahahaha These are my first meets! Then the guys dry up! lol You can meet more people in two weeks, than i could in 6 months of meeting mostly undesirables. But then again...you're in your 'prime'...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 He probably thought you weren't interested since you wouldn't stay... Nah, I doubt that. I told him that I had to get up at 6am the next day and he understood....he's a teacher, too, after all. I also told him I'd like to see him again some other time when I could stay out longer. On other news..Brent, the Italian, never called to confirm our date for tonight...one more flake. I unfriended him on f/b and I'm done with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 I think it's great to keep a first meet to under 3 hours or even under 2. Keeps the getting to know you process at a reasonable pace and avoids the awkwardness of it getting very late or running out of things to say. I remember one guy spent almost 3 hours talking to me over coffee and then offered to walk me home (in a respectful way). I told him I was going to stop at the store on the way home, accross the street and he said he'd go food shopping with me so I smiled and I said I wasn't that kind of girl. I made it very clear I had a great time and would enjoy seeing him again. He never called. My sense was that he found our conversation too intense (meaning, he overshared) but who knows. Certainly I don't regret ending the evening when I did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted May 2, 2014 Share Posted May 2, 2014 Oh, you did say you'd like to meet him again! Good! And Brent...second time he's done this to you! Maybe he's waiting until afternoon to call and 'firm things up'....lol Damn those good-looking Italians. I only was stood up once in my last 3 years of online dating....by an Italian. I sat in the dang restaurant for an hour! Probably cuz when i told him what i was going to be wearing...i said i looked like a lightly toasted marshmallow. My friends told me to quite describing myself that way! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 2, 2014 Author Share Posted May 2, 2014 Maybe he's waiting until afternoon to call and 'firm things up'....lol Damn those good-looking Italians. I'm in Europe..it's already evening here..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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