missmarple Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 I just exchanged a few emails with a guy...he didn't have a picture up on the site and neither did I (it's a new site I've been trying and haven't had time to put pics up yet)...so, we talked for a while, he said he's single with no kids..eventually, I told him let's exchange pics and arrange to meet but he said he'd rather 'meet blindly'...and sent me his phone number Needless to say I'm not emailing him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 I met (well, chatted to) a new guy today. Mason is 52, a ship engineer, a widower for 8 years with a 18yo daughter. He's 6'1, with long-ish, grey hair, brown eyes and an interesting face and lives just 10 minutes away. It was our first chat and he sounded serious and sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 Nice. Any decent men around here are snapped up in 2 seconds. Even the NON decent ones.....There would never be a ship engineer wandering around aimlessly....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 He sounds cool!! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 18, 2014 Author Share Posted April 18, 2014 Anddddddddd....I deleted Mason on our second chat. He started acting all romantic, talking about love and roses and stuff and, eventually, he said he could feel I'm his soulmate...that did it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 so maybe he's not smooth!!! Give the guy a chance !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 I wouldn't mind if he got all romantic on me...but SOULMATES!!! YIKES! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Yeah, that freaks me out a bit too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 19, 2014 Author Share Posted April 19, 2014 I've exchanged a few emails with 2 new guys. Caleb is 40, single, no kids, a tour guide, 5'10, black hair, green eyes and very good looking. He's in Paris right now and he's not sure when he'll be back (he may go to Germany in the next few days) but he said he'd like to meet when he is back. I don't see much future with this one, he's a bit too flirty for my liking but I like his pics and the way he writes and he has a great sense of humour. Julian is 48, divorced for many years with 2 kids (boy/girl, 18/16) who live with their mum and works in finances. He's also 5'10 with brown/grey hair and brown eyes and I really like his pics...he is just my type. He lives alone but his last relationship had lasted for 14 years (!) and I don't know how long ago they broke up...we've only exchanged a couple of emails because he had to leave town...he's taking his son with him and they'll be spending Easter with his sister who lives in another town. He's said he wants to meet after Easter so, I'll be waiting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 Anddddddddd....I deleted Mason on our second chat. He started acting all romantic, talking about love and roses and stuff and, eventually, he said he could feel I'm his soulmate...that did it. LOL!!! "That did it" Hahahaha! I don't know why your wording made me laugh a lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 t the risk of annoying people - and I am on a dating site myself - it seems like people are viewed as specimens under the microscope sometimes. I'm not referring to any of the candidates in particular, but in real life, we generally meet people, get to know them bit by bit, and we either like them or we don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 19, 2014 Share Posted April 19, 2014 t the risk of annoying people - and I am on a dating site myself - it seems like people are viewed as specimens under the microscope sometimes. I'm not referring to any of the candidates in particular, but in real life, we generally meet people, get to know them bit by bit, and we either like them or we don't. I didn't find it generally that way when I was dating because I went to many singles events where everyone basically sized up everyone else fairly quickly. I agree that if you meet someone at work, the gym, pursuing an interest then it can happen exactly as you wrote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 t the risk of annoying people - and I am on a dating site myself - it seems like people are viewed as specimens under the microscope sometimes. I'm not referring to any of the candidates in particular, but in real life, we generally meet people, get to know them bit by bit, and we either like them or we don't. It depends on the dater's mentality. For example, if I had met a guy through friends and the second time I saw him, he said I was his soulmate, I would do exactly what I did online...cut him off. The only difference, for me, is that when you meet someone online, you don't waste weeks or even months on them just because there's chemistry between you and it makes you 'blind' to other things. I've been there in the past and it was always with men I'd met in 'real life'. On other news, I got a Happy Easter message by...someone...no idea who as I tend to delete names from my phone when someone disappears or I'm not interested in them. Anyway, I answered out of politeness. God knows who it was...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 I got a long and very 'happy' email by a new guy. Andrew, 45, 5'10, black hair, grey eyes, looks nice in his pics and very athletic..he works for the government but he's also an athlete. He has a couple of pics of him boxing. In his email he says he is single (of course that could mean divorced with kids as he doesn't make it clear in his profile) and 'ready to fall in love'. He doesn't smoke/doesn't drink...not surprising as he must exercise A LOT. I do smoke but I don't drink so we'll see what happens with him. He gave me his cell phone number and also offered to give me his home number. I said cell phone is fine and I'll call him this afternoon. He seems very enthusiastic so I imagine he's new on the site. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 It depends on the dater's mentality. For example, if I had met a guy through friends and the second time I saw him, he said I was his soulmate, I would do exactly what I did online...cut him off. The only difference, for me, is that when you meet someone online, you don't waste weeks or even months on them just because there's chemistry between you and it makes you 'blind' to other things. I've been there in the past and it was always with men I'd met in 'real life'. On other news, I got a Happy Easter message by...someone...no idea who as I tend to delete names from my phone when someone disappears or I'm not interested in them. Anyway, I answered out of politeness. God knows who it was...lol Yes, the chemistry thing has caused me to make concessions I wouldn't have with a person I didn't have that with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted April 20, 2014 Share Posted April 20, 2014 awwwww....but i thought we were SUPPOSE to have chemistry!? NO?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 awwwww....but i thought we were SUPPOSE to have chemistry!? NO?? Of course but when you talk online first, you can see other things that you don't when you meet someone in person in a group of friends, etc. Because if someone is good looking and/or charismatic, you can easily overlook other things..at least I have in the past...I strongly remember a guy I was with for 9 months. I had met him through friends and we had nothing in common intellectually...but because of being together a few times a week I slowly fell for him..of course, the result was that we broke up over the exact same thing that if I had met him online, would have made me reject him even before the first date. On other news: I called Andrew and we talked for about an hour. It turned out he's divorced (for 14 years) and has a 16yo daughter who lives with his ex wife. He is 6 months younger than me and very lively on the phone just like he was in his email. He loves sports and he does kick-boxing (not boxing as I thought from the pics..lol) and also loves dancing, running and other physical things. He had been a smoker for 22 years but managed to quit a couple years ago. He's fine with me being a smoker though. I told him that I'm the intellectual type and not extremely physical, he was fine with that, too. We also talked about star signs. He's a Cancer and his only experience with an Aquarius was with a woman older than him (he told me that most of his exes were older than him) who sounded very much like me. His last relationship was a year ago and he told me he's only had serious relationships, he hates one-night-stands. We also talked about our families..I think his parents are divorced..he didn't say it but he said he lives with his mum in the winter (she goes to her birthplace every summer) but when I asked if his dad is alive, he said he is..so, I don't know. He also told me about his 2 brothers and I told him I'm an only child. We also talked about books, movies, music, etc...he doesn't have a university diploma but he's the proof that education isn't always about diplomas. He writes very well and speaks very well, too. We also laughed a lot..he talks a lot, just like me and told me he loves my sense of humour. In the end of the conversation I asked him if he's met any women from the site where we met..he said he's gone out with 30-35 women since last summer (almost as many as my men..lol) but most of them had fake pics/age/family status and the ones he did like weren't interested. We made a date for tomorrow evening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 20, 2014 Author Share Posted April 20, 2014 Caleb, the tour guide, sent me an email for Happy Easter. He's still in Paris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 21, 2014 Author Share Posted April 21, 2014 I just talked to a new guy. Tristan is 45, a taxi-driver (out of necessity...he's studied economics but lost his job a few months ago), divorced with no kids, 6'3, black hair, brown eyes and very good looking in his pics. We talked for a while, he's very clever and a fast thinker, which I appreciate but I'm not sure we are compatible. Not personality-wise (he seems a lot like myself) but he told me he's gone out with 4 women from the site and slept with all 4 of them but that was all. I made it clear that I'm looking for a serious relationship and we talked about it for a while until he had to go. I'll keep him in my contacts but I'm sceptical about him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Why would Tristan tell you that? Way TMI IMO. Couldn't he have left it at "I went out with four women but it didn't get serious with any of them"? Actually I'm not sure it's a good idea to talk about experiences on the site at all, just as in real life I don't really want to know all the details of someone's dating history, just that he's single (also if he has been married before or has children, yes). Andrew sounds promising. I agree on in-person chemistry making you "overlook" things that might otherwise have made you pass over a profile online, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I guess it depends what you're overlooking. For example, I'm currently dating a guy who's shorter than me (and at 5'5, I'm no amazon). When I was online, I didn't put a height minimum on my profile, but if a 5'3 guy had contacted me I doubt I would have given a second look (I've always dated tall guys, 6'2, 6'3, 6'4, that's just what I was into). But I'm crazy about this guy and super attracted to him, and the height really doesn't bother me at all, I don't feel one bit like I'm compromising or settling. It's probably a good idea to be dating in real life as well as online so that you do have a chance to meet people who might surprise you in how you click with them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Sophie you make a very good point about how the screening process makes online sites different from meeting in real life. I had a similar thing happen to me where I would have declined because of a certain physical characteristic on line but in real life was v. surprised at the chemistry. Andrew does sound very promising! Your conversation with him sounds so interesting and varied -and easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 I think Tristan would only have said that to see if you are interested in casual sex with him too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Eh, my boyfriend does that all the time - overshares. He tells me about exes, who he slept with, how many times, etc. he's not into casual sex, but he has diarrhea of the mouth. Just says too much. I guess which is good in some way because I don't feel he's hiding stuff. I wonder if Tristan is the same? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Eh, my boyfriend does that all the time - overshares. He tells me about exes, who he slept with, how many times, etc. he's not into casual sex, but he has diarrhea of the mouth. Just says too much. I guess which is good in some way because I don't feel he's hiding stuff. I wonder if Tristan is the same? Personally, I really don't value "honesty" at the expense of my feelings, if the honesty isn't relevant to me (I'm not saying that I would rather a boyfriend lie to me than admit he cheated, of course, different matters altogether). I really think politeness trumps honesty in this case (I mean, I doubt Tristan wants to hear that missmarple was farting up a storm last night and had explosive diarrhea, right, even if it's 100% the truth). Especially when it's the first phone call! I don't think it would necessarily be inappropriate for him to tell her down the line about who he slept with, but they haven't even met yet. But I don't think that I would have asked about his online experiences at all. I also think that even if Tristan means well, if he knows he has a tendency to over share, he's an adult, he can control it, especially to make a good first impression. I like being close with someone and him being able to share a lot with me, but I think manners are really important when you first meet. For me, it's a sign of respect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 21, 2014 Share Posted April 21, 2014 Oh, I don't particularly enjoy this much honesty, but it's obviously how some people can be.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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