annie24 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 ugh, well if he doesn't have enough common sense to realize why a woman might not go over to a man's house if she barely knows him, the he's just a moron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Omg what the hell is wrong with him! Good that you're writing him off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I am worried that there are men out there who think rambling on about sex on the first date is okay and who do not understanding why a woman would not feel good about going to a stranger's house by herself . Something wrong with this guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Adrian called and we managed to argue once more. This time it was because we were talking about movies and he said he was thinking of inviting me to his place to watch a movie this weekend. I said that I hardly know him and I don't feel comfortable enough to go to his house. He asked what I'm afraid of and 'do you think I'm going to rape you or what' and stuff like that. I said that I don't know what someone who I hardly know may or may not do and he said that he knows what someone is like the first time he meets them. I said, well, I'm not like that..I've often met people who seemed nice and it turned out they weren't...and, anyway..I ended the argument by saying I have to go. I don't think I'll give this one any more chances. And you know, what a privileged point of view he comes from - he's never had to be a woman, in a strange place late at night, getting catcalled, etc.... wondering if the person is a stranger who means her harm or good. I think some men never stop to think about that until they have a daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 I am worried that there are men out there who think rambling on about sex on the first date is okay and who do not understanding why a woman would not feel good about going to a stranger's house by herself . Something wrong with this guy! Me too -- something's really off about him. I don't even let a guy come to my house to pick me up until several dates in -- let alone spend time with him alone in my house or his until I feel I know him. I didn't go to my boyfriend's house and actually spend time there until we'd been dating for about six weeks -- probably about 9 or 10 dates in -- but I felt VERY confident that he wasn't a psycho killer or a rapist. We also had a conversation about the whole "agreeing to come over means we're having sex" thing that so many people seem to subscribe to. He told me in NO way did he expect to sleep with me just because I came over for dinner or because he came to my house to watch a movie, and I believed him. I feel like online dating site use has really prompted people to fast-track everything -- a guy asking "will we kiss on the first date?" before you've even met the guy, talking about exes and past baggage at the first coffee meet, a woman asking "Where is this going?" after only two dates -- it's all mind-boggling to me. I guess the upside is that, if everything's rushed, it ends much more quickly if it's not a good match! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 7, 2016 Share Posted April 7, 2016 Adrian called and we managed to argue once more. This time it was because we were talking about movies and he said he was thinking of inviting me to his place to watch a movie this weekend. I said that I hardly know him and I don't feel comfortable enough to go to his house. He asked what I'm afraid of and 'do you think I'm going to rape you or what' and stuff like that. I said that I don't know what someone who I hardly know may or may not do and he said that he knows what someone is like the first time he meets them. I said, well, I'm not like that..I've often met people who seemed nice and it turned out they weren't...and, anyway..I ended the argument by saying I have to go. I don't think I'll give this one any more chances. Totally inappropriate jerk. Ick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 8, 2016 Author Share Posted April 8, 2016 And you know, what a privileged point of view he comes from - he's never had to be a woman, in a strange place late at night, getting catcalled, etc.... wondering if the person is a stranger who means her harm or good. I think some men never stop to think about that until they have a daughter. The thing is he does have a 17yo daughter and, still, he said all that. He also said that it doesn't matter that I'm a woman..I could have a gun in my purse, couldn't I?...but he's not scared because, at 51, he can tell what someone is like just from one date. I think he's just full of it and he only wants sex...and goes about it in a roundabout way. Either that or he's just an idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Or both! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Ugh! Obviously this roundabout way has worked for him in the past, but it's very manipulative. I don't like this "Oh, but I'm a good guy you can trust me......except I have the hormones of a 15 year-old which I choose not to even try to restrain....but it's okay because we all need sex right?" His debate about how everyone needs sex is a way for him to seek validation for his own needs. He wants you to see his needs as normal, and maybe some people do but if you don;t then let him find someone who does. Good riddance I say! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted April 8, 2016 Share Posted April 8, 2016 Most of us need sex, especially when we are younger. BUT...there is a right way and a wrong way to introduce the subject. He was Mr. Wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 9, 2016 Author Share Posted April 9, 2016 He messaged me on the site today and we talked for about 10 minutes...nothing important, just how our day was going. He's fine to chat to occasionally...and when he gets too annoying, I'll block him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 9, 2016 Author Share Posted April 9, 2016 I talked to a new guy on the site. Dan, 42, has studied law but doesn't practice it..he has a bookshop, single, no kids, 6'1, brown hair/green eyes, lives close by. He said he's looking for 'something serious', that he likes painting, art, literature, swimming and, unfortunately, motorcycles (lol) and asked for my phone number. He's going to call tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 Dan called and we talked for about half an hour but I'm not thrilled. Not only he sounded too full of himself but, also, he asked the same things as Adrian (regarding how long it's been since I've slept with someone) and insinuated the same thing, too..that someone can't live without sex etc etc. Needless to say I don't plan on meeting this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Men are so stupid! :stupid: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Dan called and we talked for about half an hour but I'm not thrilled. Not only he sounded too full of himself but, also, he asked the same things as Adrian (regarding how long it's been since I've slept with someone) and insinuated the same thing, too..that someone can't live without sex etc etc. Needless to say I don't plan on meeting this one. Oh BLAH I hate this. You'd think they get how much their behaviour turns us off. Why are there so many dumb and shallow men? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 There just are. That is a fact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zuri Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 Y'all should stop generalizing men. Anyway, I get that some people think that sex is a "need" (I don't btw) but those guys brought up the topic to find out if MM would be agreeable to casual sex. I would be turned off by any guy that brought up such a topic so soon. Very ungentlemanly. Blah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 First online chat with a new guy. Martin, 51, single, no kids, 6ft 1, light brown hair/blue eyes, athletic and quite attractive in his pics, lives 15 minutes away and he's a cartographer. He grew up in a small town (coincidentally, it's the same town Pedro lived in...remember him? lol) a couple of hours away but has lived in my city since '81. His mother still lives in that town from what he said and he's going to visit her this Thursday and stay for a few days. We only talked for about 15 minutes as he was at work and couldn't chat for long but he said we'll continue later. One thing I want to ask him is if he's ok with me smoking (he's a non-smoker). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 25, 2016 Author Share Posted April 25, 2016 We talked once more but I'm not interested. Found him boring, with no sense of humour and too many mistakes that hurt my eyes. Plus, he asked if I plan on giving up smoking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted April 28, 2016 Author Share Posted April 28, 2016 I've been talking to a new guy lately. We've talked 3-4 times online. Greg, 49, works at a private jets company, 5'9, grey hair/brown eyes, I like some of his pics, I don't like some of the others..lol. Our conversations have been nice, we seem to have things in common. He's also an only child, also divorced with no kids, also a smoker and he has a dog. Today he asked me to meet and it took us a while to iron out the details as this week he works the evening shift (14.00 to 22.00). He wanted to meet tomorrow night but 10.30 at night is too late for me for a first meeting and I got the feeling he doesn't like going out in the morning when he works in the afternoon. Anyway, he said tomorrow he's getting next week's schedule and he'll probably be working mornings, so, he'll let me know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 I've heard nothing about tomorrow or Tuesday (the days he had said we would probably meet) from Greg, except a hello message here and there. I blocked and deleted him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 I've heard nothing about tomorrow or Tuesday (the days he had said we would probably meet) from Greg, except a hello message here and there. I blocked and deleted him. Why block him without giving him one more chance to communicate? Sounds like you were on your way to making a plan but logistics got in the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted May 1, 2016 Author Share Posted May 1, 2016 Why block him without giving him one more chance to communicate? Sounds like you were on your way to making a plan but logistics got in the way. Because he was supposed to tell me his work schedule on Friday (he would get it on Thursday evening). Today is Sunday, we've talked 2-3 times since then (hello, how are you and not much more) and he hasn't said a word. I have no time for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 1, 2016 Share Posted May 1, 2016 Why continue to chat with him all those times without saying "nice chatting with you but I'm a bit busy -let me know when you know your work schedule" - maybe a compromise where you hint at it at least? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted May 2, 2016 Share Posted May 2, 2016 I agree with Batya on this. Not sure you have to be so extreme to block him, he didn't do much wrong here. There are so many reasons why he might not of gotten back to you yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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