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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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Last night I went to a friend's birthday. It was a dinner party, at a very modern restaurant with live music. We were 14 people. I was sitting next to a guy in his '50s whom I've only met a couple times a long time ago. He's nice-looking, single, never married and with a good sense of humour. So, we started talking and it seemed like there was some attraction between us...he had offered to drive me home after the party, was very attentive, kept lighting my cigarette, etc, etc...until, when we were about to leave he says 'you know, there's this girl I like' (not someone at the party) and he proceeded to tell me all about her...apparently, she's 35...I said isn't she a bit too young for you, he said nahh, she's just perfect

 

Meanwhile, another guy at the party was paying extra attention to me, too. He was seated on the other side of the table but he moved next to me and he talked to me every chance he got. Now, this guy (whom I've met, maybe, 4-5 times through my friend) is also nice, attractive, etc, etc, BUT he's 34...14 years younger than me. Anyway, at some point, it was about 1am and I knew the night was going to be long (it always is when this particular friend has her b/day..lol) and I had had a few glasses of wine, so, I mentioned to the guy next to me (the 50yo) that I wish I could have some coffee and too bad they didn't serve any in that restaurant (they do but only until 10pm). A few minutes later, the younger guy gets up, takes his coat, says I'll be back and leaves. He was gone for about half an hour and we were all wondering if something had happened..until he came back with a double espresso for me! Now, keep in mind it was almost 2am by then and everything was closed in that particular neighbourhood. I thanked him, of course, and asked where on earth did he find coffee at that time...he said 'don't ask'. Nothing else happened between us (apart from him trying to talk to me all the time..lol) but it got me thinking what on earth is wrong with men. The guy who should have been into me, age-wise, at least, was after a girl 20 yrs younger...and the guy who was into me, was 14 yrs younger than me!!!!

 

Sometimes, I'm really not surprised that I'm still single.

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14 years is 14 years, no matter how old the people involved are. Could he be my son? Yes. To me, that's a no.

 

Well, it is quite unusual for a 14 year old to give birth (I could not have). I don't agree that it's the years - a 21 year old dating a 16 year old is basically illegal but if they're both in their 20s or beyond that's just typical.

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Well, it is quite unusual for a 14 year old to give birth (I could not have). I don't agree that it's the years - a 21 year old dating a 16 year old is basically illegal but if they're both in their 20s or beyond that's just typical.

 

Yeah, well, I could have ever since I was 10...so, if it's ok with you, I'd rather not date this guy

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Yeah, well, I could have ever since I was 10...so, if it's ok with you, I'd rather not date this guy

 

Nothing to do with that -I simply disagree that the number of years means the same thing no matter what age the two people are. My uncle married a woman in her 60s when he was 80. When he was 21, she would have been 7 or so - at that point he would have been a pedophile. Obviously it matters. Whether you choose to have age limits is totally up to you. I had age limits because I didn't want a man who was too young to be ready to be a dad ASAP and not too old where he felt he was done having children.

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New guy and a question if anyone can offer some ideas.

 

Brad (not Pitt..lol), 48, 6'1, brown hair/eyes, very good-looking, divorced for many years, no kids, owns a hotel and we've talked through email for 2 days now. 10 or more emails have been exchanged talking about general stuff..mostly about his work..his hotel is at a summer resort about 6 hrs away and he spends summers there. However, when I asked him, he said he always goes back and forth because he has obligations here, too (he lives about 30 mins away from me), so, he'd be able to date locally.

Anyway, the thing is he hasn't asked for my phone number (or for a meeting). Should I suggest we talk on the phone? I've always thought if someone is interested, they suggest it first unless they're the shy type..and he doesn't sound like he's shy.

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I don't think two days is that long that the lack of request for call is indicative of lack of interest. If you want to move faster to phone though, I see no harm in asking first. That way you're not wasting time messaging him if he's not actually interested in meeting.

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Well, I was about to ask him to talk on the phone when he sent an email saying he's travelling...to the place he has the hotel...I couldn't tell for how long (he didn't say) but I won't mention phones until he's back.

 

Meanwhile, there's one more guy I've talked 2-3 times with...on the site with that one, so, I know more things about him. Stan, 50, 5'10, light brown hair (well, used to be..no hair now..lol), blue eyes, also attractive, divorced for 6 years with 2 daughters (24/18 ), lives very close to me but works long hours, unfortunately...at a company about half an hour away.

We've talked for almost 2 hours in the space of 3 days and he hasn't asked for my phone number...which makes sense as he's always at work! We talked today, too, he asked what I'm doing tonight, definitely not because he was thinking to ask me out as it was 7pm and he told me he always stays late on Fridays.

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Just curious MM - since starting this journal about 2.5 years ago...

 

- How many first dates have you been on?

- How many went past 2 or 3 dates?

- How many guys have you kissed?

- Am I correct in assuming that you haven't had sex or found a boyfriend during this time?

 

Not judging here, it would just be interesting to see a summary / list of stats of your experiences so far.

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Just curious MM - since starting this journal about 2.5 years ago...

 

- How many first dates have you been on?

- How many went past 2 or 3 dates?

- How many guys have you kissed?

- Am I correct in assuming that you haven't had sex or found a boyfriend during this time?

 

Not judging here, it would just be interesting to see a summary / list of stats of your experiences so far.

 

First dates over 100 for sure.

2 or 3 dates with maybe 1/5 of them...none past 3.

If I remember right...2 or 3.

You're correct.

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Man, I would definitely have needed a FWB to tie me over for that long lol

 

Nah, sex is rarely on my mind when I'm not with someone. I've always been like this...which is a good thing considering the dry spell I've been going through these last 3 years..lol

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Stan messaged me on the site at noon (he had just woken up...isn't working today) and he said he would ask me to go out and grab some coffee but he knows women need time to get ready and it's probably very last minute. I said that's true and I added that, in general, when I go out, I like to know at least a day before.

He didn't say anything about meeting tonight or tomorrow but he did mention that he's having his daughters for lunch almost every Sunday...and then we shared funny stories about cats..lol

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Hmm, generally not a good sign when the guy says "I would ask you to meet but...", seems odd to say that and not schedule for another day, but who knows...hopefully he does ask

 

It just seems like someone who doesn't care that much if you meet or not. I'll talk to him for a few more days but unless he asks for my phone number/asks me out, I don't see this going far.

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