missmarple Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 I messaged him on the site this morning (I woke up with an awful headache and didn't go to school - I blame the beer) as I was bored at home and we talked for 10-15 minutes. Told him about the headache, he said next time he'll buy me tea..lol Isn't it strange how, when you're not interested in someone, it's much easier to contact them first? That has always been the case with me (when the person is nice, of course). If I had been into him, I'd wait for him to message me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Paul messaged me on the site and we talked about our news, etc. He has to work this weekend (a colleague got sick and he fills in for him), so, he was at work. He asked what I'm doing this weekend, I told him (not much except for tomorrow morning when I'm meeting a friend)...and he asked if he can 'buy me some more beer' tomorrow evening. I said no more beer for me but coffee, sure..lol..and we're meeting tomorrow at 7pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 AHA! So he lied! Told you he'd buy you tea next time, but instead is trying to ply you with more beer! Seriously, I'm glad you're giving this guy another go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 AHA! So he lied! Told you he'd buy you tea next time, but instead is trying to ply you with more beer! Seriously, I'm glad you're giving this guy another go. HAHA..true! He actually made a joke about it..he said 'how much do you think your students would pay me if I got you drunk and missed Monday morning?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 I had a missed call by Simon (funeral guy) this afternoon and this time I got annoyed. We had only met twice and that was almost 2 months ago. I'm not returning his phonecall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 New guy. Jack, 57, 6'3, grey hair/brown eyes, attractive, retired army officer who volunteers at a children's charity, divorced for 19 years with 2 grown up kids (son 32, daughter 26) and a grandson from his son and we've talked a couple of times on the site. He lives close to me, at a neighbourhood where I used to work and know very well, and writes very well. He asked for my phone number, gave me his, too and we talked and agreed to meet for a cup of coffee on Tuesday. I said I'll call him Tuesday morning to arrange the details because there's a chance we'll be having a meeting at school on that day and I don't know the exact time yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 The second date with Paul was very nice. We talked a lot about our past but only about happy moments..holidays, old friends, etc, etc. We laughed a lot, too. This time he didn't mention his ex wife at all. He bought my coffee again..I told him I'm getting the bill the next time (if there is a next time, of course). He took me home..on his motorbike..that was fun, too, as I'm terrified of motorbikes and I couldn't stop laughing..I was thinking about what my friends would say if they saw me on one..lol. He was very organized (he had an extra helmet for me and gloves, too) and a very careful driver but, still, I was relieved when we arrived home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Wow -that sounds like a lot of fun! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 I can't picture you on a motorbike haha...glad you had fun!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 I can't picture you on a motorbike haha When I got off that thing and took the helmet off I could feel my hair flying to different directions, so, I asked him how does my hair look...he said 'well, it's like you just took part in an orgy'...loooool Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 21, 2016 Author Share Posted March 21, 2016 Paul had texted me last night saying he's at home and thanking me because he had had a good time. I found it this morning and texted back saying I had a good time, too and good morning and stuff and we exchanged a couple of texts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 22, 2016 Author Share Posted March 22, 2016 I called Jack in the morning and we agreed to meet at 7pm at a café near my home. He didn't know it but I gave him directions..hope he won't get lost..lol. On the phone, he sounded very pleasant and laughed often. Nice voice, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 22, 2016 Author Share Posted March 22, 2016 So, about the date with Jack. He's good-looking, for sure...great smile. Also, very polite, friendly and talkative. He loves kids and animals. He's a smoker like me. We had a good time. However....I couldn't help feeling like something was off with him. I can't put my finger on it but I just didn't feel comfortable...I felt like he was hiding something. Maybe because he told me as soon as we sat down that he doesn't want to live with anyone and that his last 2 relationships (3 and 2.5 yrs each) ended because the women wanted to live together and he didn't. He said he's used to..doing his thing (no idea what his thing is) and he's adamant that he's not going to change his mind even if he's in love with a woman. Then, he told me that he's leaving at the end of April for his country house (about 5 hrs away) and will be there until October..on his own. I found that strange, too. In general, as I said, I felt he was hiding something..not sure what. In any case, I'd be happy to see him again as a friend (good conversationalist) but I just can't imagine anything romantic between us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Don't know the law where you live MM, But here, once people live together for 6 months, if they separate, they are usually entitled to substantial property settlement. For a lot of people, this definitely plays a part in deciding not to co-habitat. If he owns a country property as well, then he likely has some assets to protect. I'm sure there would be other reasons as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 So, about the date with Jack. He's good-looking, for sure...great smile. Also, very polite, friendly and talkative. He loves kids and animals. He's a smoker like me. We had a good time. However....I couldn't help feeling like something was off with him. I can't put my finger on it but I just didn't feel comfortable...I felt like he was hiding something. Maybe because he told me as soon as we sat down that he doesn't want to live with anyone and that his last 2 relationships (3 and 2.5 yrs each) ended because the women wanted to live together and he didn't. He said he's used to..doing his thing (no idea what his thing is) and he's adamant that he's not going to change his mind even if he's in love with a woman. Then, he told me that he's leaving at the end of April for his country house (about 5 hrs away) and will be there until October..on his own. I found that strange, too. In general, as I said, I felt he was hiding something..not sure what. In any case, I'd be happy to see him again as a friend (good conversationalist) but I just can't imagine anything romantic between us. Did he say what he's going to do there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 Oh, I think I like this Paul character. He sounds like just the right amount of fun but also has many of the other qualities you like. Good for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 Don't know the law where you live MM, But here, once people live together for 6 months, if they separate, they are usually entitled to substantial property settlement. For a lot of people, this definitely plays a part in deciding not to co-habitat. If he owns a country property as well, then he likely has some assets to protect. I'm sure there would be other reasons as well. No, we don't have anything like that over here...only with marriage you have any right on the other's assets. His decision has only to do with him not wanting to live with anyone else because he wants his independence, not with any law..but it wasn't even that that made me uncomfortable. I felt like he does something on his own that he didn't want to share...I've met many independent people (I am one, too) and he just didn't strike me like it was about 'independence'. Did he say what he's going to do there? In his country house? Yeah, that was one more thing that I found weird..because the place he goes (every year, he said) is rather secluded...in a small town (about 2,000 people) and not even in the town..outside, in the countryside and no other houses close by. I asked what he does there for 6 months, he said he 'works on his garden'. But he really didn't seem like the type who enjoys nature, so, I have no idea what exactly he does there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 That all sounds a bit suss indeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 He doesn't sound like he has the capacity to have a real emotional connection. I understand when people don't want to get married. I don't understand never wanting to live with someone. Ever. Like...that's the best part! Sharing a life. The ups and downs. Learning someone's intimate quirks. That's the good stuff. I would love to have a place to go in isolation from people...I would be just fine working on a garden for 6 months. Spend time painting and writing. But I'd want to bring my partner (and child) lol. Does he work or is he retired? I guess it doesn't matter much as he wants different things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 He doesn't sound like he has the capacity to have a real emotional connection. I understand when people don't want to get married. I don't understand never wanting to live with someone. Ever. Like...that's the best part! Sharing a life. The ups and downs. Learning someone's intimate quirks. That's the good stuff. I'm that way! Granted, I'm unusual... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 That makes two of us. I HATE living with someone. I can't do what I want to do when I want to do it. Instead of a marathon of watching sports I have some guy nagging me to make dinner or go somewhere with him. No thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Me three. I guess I've become set in my ways, because I actually enjoy living alone. You can keep your ups and downs and quirks, intimate or otherwise! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 I should say at this point that it's not that I want to live with someone...it's something I can take or leave. What made me skeptical was the feeling I had that he was hiding something..it's difficult to describe in writing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouCanDeleteThisAccount Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Uh, yeah. I'm cautious of any non gardening types who run off to the remote country side to "garden" alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 I should say at this point that it's not that I want to live with someone...it's something I can take or leave. What made me skeptical was the feeling I had that he was hiding something..it's difficult to describe in writing. It's great that you have such good instincts - I would go with them especially in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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