Batya33 Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 David, the journalist, sent me a couple of emotes on the site (I imagine he was busy at work and couldn't chat) and he called me later...just as I was entering the gym. He was still at work (I have his work number and he's given me his cell number, too) and we talked for 5-10 mins..before treadmill..lol. Nice and pleasant. Didn't mention meeting again. Maybe next time. Although he seems to be working such long hours that I don't know if he has the time to date. It sounds like he is having fun chatting/flirting when he has a moment. If you think he's too busy to date, then is he someone that you would just enjoy chatting with on line? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 It sounds like he is having fun chatting/flirting when he has a moment. If you think he's too busy to date, then is he someone that you would just enjoy chatting with on line? He doesn't seem to like chatting..I mean, we've only chatted online once, for 5-10 mins...then, he asked for my number and today he called again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 29, 2016 Share Posted February 29, 2016 He doesn't seem to like chatting..I mean, we've only chatted online once, for 5-10 mins...then, he asked for my number and today he called again. OK - I guess just wait until he suggests a meeting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 29, 2016 Author Share Posted February 29, 2016 Speaking of him, he had messaged me online just before he called (I was on the road at the time) saying good evening and have a nice week and asking if he can call me. Apparently, he decided to call anyway..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 4, 2016 Author Share Posted March 4, 2016 Ι was just talking to a new guy online...57, good looking, divorced, interesting, etc...until he told me 'he plans to change my smoking habit' Why do people message you if they want to change you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 you know it's not healthy for you or cost effective though. it's probably the worst thing you can do to your body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Agreed. I had two friends die from it and the rest who smoked have major illnesses. NO ONE who smokes that I've ever met benefited from it. I quit cold turkey many years ago when me son told me I was stinky. After I quit, I noticed that people who smoke have a definite odor about them. Helping someone quit is not a bad thing. BUT, it has to be your decision, not someone else's. So I understand about not wanting someone else trying to change you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 I think at the end of the day, it's your life. You're a smart cookie, you know the risks. If you know the risks and want to smoke anyway, then that is up to you. I don't like people who are in denial or stuff like that but if you know the risks and accept them, that's fine. I don't understand in his point in wanting to change you. Is that supposed to be a turn-on? Did you just block him? I wouldn't have been able to resist, I would have answered "Oh? Are you my doctor? I love unsolicited advice from strangers!" but I am a jerk like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted March 4, 2016 Share Posted March 4, 2016 Honestly let's leave what the habit is out of the equation for a moment...If any guy after a few online messages told me he indented to change one of my habits - good or bad - I'd be gone. It's creepy....like "Well, you're almost perfect and if I can just change this one thing I could make you MINE!" eeewwww no thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Eh, if it would be an improvement, I'd listen. Nothing the matter with making me better. But if it keeps up about many things, yeah, I'm gone. That's called controlling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 5, 2016 Author Share Posted March 5, 2016 We had only talked for, maybe, 15 minutes when he said that and, yes, I blocked him. No reason to continue talking to someone who won't accept me as I am. Of course I know smoking is bad for me but the same goes for many other habits people have. I would never tell an overweight guy, for example, 'I'm going to help you lose weight'...or someone who lists alcohol drinking as something he does 'every day', 'I'll help you to quit drinking'. If I had a problem with extra weight or alcohol, I just wouldn't message those guys. The same goes for pets..I've had guys message me and then tell me they hate cats...when I list cats as my favourite pet and mention I have one! At least, this one, showed me what he was like immediately...much better than that guy I had gone on one date with, who had said he doesn't mind me smoking...and then he started talking about what a nasty habit it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted March 5, 2016 Share Posted March 5, 2016 Well, it kinda is. I live in LA and it is forbidden to smoke almost anywhere. Even outdoors. You can't smoke in your car while children are in it and it is legal to refuse to rent to smokers. Not many people smoke here at all. What is the allure of it, anyway? You have the right to smoke,of course, but why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 5, 2016 Author Share Posted March 5, 2016 Most people do smoke here...not as many as before but most do. I guess it's just an addiction. Some people drink, some overeat, some do drugs, some smoke..etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 6, 2016 Share Posted March 6, 2016 I mean, I agree with you that it's off putting that someone contacts you and tells you what they're going to change about you, whatever it is. But really, smoking is the worst thing you can do, and honestly probably the hardest thing to quit - it's one of the most addictive substances out there, worse than heroin and cocaine if you listen to the experts. it's quiet a challenge that this guy thinks he can make you stop smoking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 6, 2016 Author Share Posted March 6, 2016 Like with all bad habits, noone can make someone else stop doing something. They have to want it themselves. For now, I haven't had any smoke related problems yet (that I know of..lol)..but when I decide to quit, it will be because I want to quit, not because some guy (any guy) wants me to. Most of my relationships (marriage included) have been with smokers, anyway...and the few ones that were non-smokers, never lectured me on the dangers of smoking, they had accepted I smoke and I had always made sure to smoke less around them..but because I felt like it, not because they had demanded it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 New guy and we have a date for Wednesday. Jeff, 49, 5'9, dark hair/eyes, athletic, good-looking, a fireman, divorced for 6 years with 4 kids (25/20 girls, twin 12yo boys). We talked online and then he called me on the phone. He loves animals (has a dog), he's also a gym goer (although much more fanatical about it..he's been going for years) and he has a sweet voice...he sounds pleasant and easygoing. He doesn't smoke but he said he doesn't have a problem with smokers, most of his friends smoke and his ex wife did, too. He's off work on Wednesday, so, we made a date for 7pm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Hope you have a good date! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 I'm with you, missmarple, on the guy telling you in the first phone call that he plans to get you to quit! Just wrong. I grew up in a country where smoking is much more common than in the US. I have never smoked a cigarette - I won't even smoke hookah because I just don't want to use any tobacco products - and couldn't date someone who does because the smell makes me sick (aside from all the health risks). That being said, I have seen some people in the US be really over the top about cigarettes, like smokers are the antichrist. I know many pot smokers who say cigarettes are disgusting - gotta say I don't see why pot is better! My uncle can be firmly anti-cigarette, but he smokes several cigars each night! Smoking is indeed very bad for your health, but I don't think it's the worst thing you can do to yourself by a stretch. You shouldn't have to justify your habit to this stranger or to us, though if you ever decide to quit I'll be cheering you on from behind my screen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 I'm with you, missmarple, on the guy telling you in the first phone call that he plans to get you to quit! Just wrong. Not even the first phone call..the first online chat..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Jeff sounds like a promising prospect! Hope your date goes well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 Jeff and I talked a few times during the day...we were both busy, so, we just left messages on the site hi, how are you, I'm leaving, etc..lol..still, it was nice to be in touch before tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Once more, we talked on the site...he must be anti-phone..lol. Anyway, he asked me some more details about the place of the date..he lives about 45 mins away and doesn't know the area very well. I hope he doesn't get lost! I told him to call me if he does Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 The date with Jeff was ok. In person, he was shorter than his profile said but he was much better looking, too. He has blue eyes (I thought they were brown..lol) and I would call him handsome. Also, he was polite, open, smiled often and insisted on paying. However...we are very different. He likes being out and about, I like relaxing with a cup of coffee. He doesn't like reading, we like different music and we didn't really get each other's jokes. I don't think there was any chemistry between us, either. We both said 'we'll talk' but I doubt it. Still, it was a pleasant afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 Will you go out with him again if he asks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 Will you go out with him again if he asks? If I have nothing better to do, yes. He wasn't boring, just not my type. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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