notalady Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I agree, casually getting the message across. I think if he doesn't set up a date by Monday after such an obvious comment, he's just not interested enough to meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 I think if he doesn't set up a date by Monday after such an obvious comment, he's just not interested enough to meet. I won't wait that long. After what I told him tonight, he either sets up a date tomorrow (not necessarily for tomorrow but for SOME day), or he can talk to himself..because if he doesn't, he's either stupid or not interested. I've had it up to here with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Meh, I'm losing my interest in this guy for you. Nice guy, but is wishy-washy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I love your response too. Look, maybe he's used to women fawning all over him and asking him out, etc. There's no one better than MM to retrain him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Who wants someone they have to "train". The man is not a dog. He is a human being with a different communication style than MM. That alone is enough for it not to work. Why try? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 Who wants someone they have to "train". The man is not a dog. He is a human being with a different communication style than MM. That alone is enough for it not to work. Why try? I did not mean it that way at all. She should do nothing. I meant -inartfully written - that he should "retrain" himself -if he is motivated to see her he'll figure out what he needs to do. I did not mean "retrain" literally. I don't think he has a different communication style - I think that he just does not see the need to step up and make a plan to go out. He will see the need -and make it happen- if he decides he really wants to see her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 My problem isn't that he texts. I don't mind texting. It's that he doesn't ask me out. First meeting - my suggestion. First date - my suggestion...he cancelled, I tried a different day, he didn't even acknowledge my question (except the message he had supposedly sent). Second date - he asked for it...after I contacted him first, a week after we had had that argument...and 10 days after my message to him (3 of which he was abroad, ok). And now, 2 days after the second date, Wednesday night and no mention of a next date. Just good morning and good night texts. 2 days isn't that long...it's just that I've known this guy for 3 weeks (a month if we also count the week we didn't talk), he lives 10 mins away, doesn't work on the weekends, doesn't have kids, has said what a great time he has with me, how beautiful I am, blah blah blah..and he's only asked me out once. Oh, I see now. Having it all in one place makes it more clear. I agree with you 100% - if he doesn't step up soon and ask you out without any prompting then I'd be over it too. I guess I missed all the leg work you had done just to get him to ask for your date with him (that's on me, I'm sure you explained it clearly and I just missed it). I take back what I said about telling him your preferences, I think now is the time to sit back and see what he will do on his own. Your response to him tonight was spot on. His response to you.... could have been better. As Batya said, maybe he used to women fawning over him and doing most of the chasing...for me that's a bit of a turn off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I did not mean it that way at all. She should do nothing. I meant -inartfully written - that he should "retrain" himself -if he is motivated to see her he'll figure out what he needs to do. I did not mean "retrain" literally. I don't think he has a different communication style - I think that he just does not see the need to step up and make a plan to go out. He will see the need -and make it happen- if he decides he really wants to see her. Oh, okay. I misunderstood what you were saying. I apologize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 I think that he just does not see the need to step up and make a plan to go out. He will see the need -and make it happen- if he decides he really wants to see her. My best friend has said the exact same thing. When someone really wants to see you, he will make it happen. It doesn't have to do with character/communication styles, etc, etc...only with their desire to see you...or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Today, he didn't text me good morning and neither did I...and I felt relieved. I'd rather he stopped contacting me altogether if he's not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 He texted late in the afternoon saying how busy he is at work and hopes I'm having a great day blah blah. I haven't replied yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 He texted late in the afternoon saying how busy he is at work and hopes I'm having a great day blah blah. I haven't replied yet. Nothing to reply to. Any new candidates on the horizon? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Any new candidates on the horizon? Many but either married or very ugly or live hours away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 I just deleted his phone number. I didn't want to be tempted to text him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Will you know it's him if he text you to make a date? Or what if he texts you another "good morning/night" text? Assuming you didn't block him haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Will you know it's him if he text you to make a date? Or what if he texts you another "good morning/night" text? Assuming you didn't block him haha I'll know it's him..noone else me texts good morning, good night and noone else would try to make a date by text at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quidam Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Seriously who does that lol... The first months of any relationship should be a game of tease, cat and mouse, climaxes of insecurity and joy of hopes and better days. I don't know if I have been out of the loop for too long but when I flirt and date the fun part is to threat the girl well but make her linger when you are not around, tease her about what We could be and just be fun. Texting good morning and good night .... Seriously?! The only text message text message I would send would be graphic novels on the ways i would touch her, flirt her and never go into something sexual... I use to describe to my ex in every single details how I would approach her, touch her, the pressure I would apply, the heat she would feel on her neck only to tell her good night just before I would have gone into any sexual details... She broke her phone out of frustration A girl needs three things in my world dating wise A well fed imagination A fun time A well cooked meal For the rest pick the dam phone set up dates... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 So, he texted me in the afternoon...he asked how I am, he said thank God it's Friday and the weekend is coming, that he's at home, etc, etc,...and then he asked something I found strange. During a text exchange a couple of days ago he had called me 'sweet missmarple' (well, he had used my actual name..lol) and he asked if I had been annoyed by that...who knows? Maybe he thought that was why I didn't reply yesterday. Anyway, I said that of course not, that he's very polite (which is true)..and he said it relaxes him to talk to me (he's said that before)...I said great, I am like a cup of tea..he said LOL and that was that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 By now I would have said (and maybe you have), without any guile or motive whatsoever, perhaps even rhetorically, So how come you text me but don't ask me out? Its annoying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Yeah, I think if it was me, I'd tell him "Thanks for all the nice conversation, but I'm not interested anymore. Good luck". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 By now I would have said (and maybe you have), without any guile or motive whatsoever, perhaps even rhetorically, So how come you text me but don't ask me out? Its annoying. I would have said exactly that too. "It's annoying". Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 Well, he messaged me again with 'I'd like to see you this weekend if you can'. I replied I'd like that and I'm free tomorrow..he hasn't replied yet..15 mins later. Maybe he sent it to the wrong person PS I'm going to the gym...more news (if any!) later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I wouldn't accept a last minute date in this situation - he's had all this time to make a plan with you and I would assume you were not his first choice (no I am not a big fan of assumptions - but I think this is a fairly low risk assumption -in the alternative, if he's just a "spontaneous" person who assumes that a special lady would jump at a last minute date - then it's fine to say no and without lecturing him just say that you typically make plans in advance. I see that you already told him you're free but if he asks for a different day I would say that - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey Pumpkin Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I'd go - you like him and there's a bit of spark. He's been texting you regularly all week, and to be honest, I think there is a difference between American and European dating. I think if you say no you drag it out for another week and it fizzles out. See how it goes on a third date Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 I think you can mention on the date itself that you like advanced planning for dates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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