SophieGrace Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I'll chime in with a vote to stay enthusiastic. It's not often one meets a guy who inspires butterflies, and when it happens it's exciting--whether it lasts or not. If you're happy when he texts and you look forward to seeing him - yay! - and it's about time. God knows you've had enough tepid experiences with lackluster men to last a lifetime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 ^^^agree with Sophie....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Butterflies most often leads to pain. No thanks. I'll take respect, things in common, and just plain contentment over butterflies any day. I've had both. Butterflies never worked out. Two relationships based on contentment lasted "til death do us part". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I'll chime in with a vote to stay enthusiastic. It's not often one meets a guy who inspires butterflies, and when it happens it's exciting--whether it lasts or not. If you're happy when he texts and you look forward to seeing him - yay! - and it's about time. God knows you've had enough tepid experiences with lackluster men to last a lifetime. Agree with jigisup. If temporary excitement is the goal and why MM is putting all this time and effort into OLD then more power to her. I don't think from what she writes that that is her goal or that it's worth it to chase butterflies in a situation where the guy is acting in a flaky way. Typically I would buy the "have to go abroad" excuse but in this case, not so sure. Certainly I agree she should see if he calls again to set up an actual date but until then I wouldn't text him and I would keep him off the radar for a number of reasons I did have good experiences with butterflies including with my husband but not when I prioritized the butterflies over red flags/concerns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Both John and the new guy, let's call him Kyle, texted me good morning, have a nice day...John with a joke about the country he's in, Kyle in a normal way. I replied to both. I've decided I'll go out with Kyle if he asks but I can't make it Friday, so, it will have to be Saturday. I'd rather meet John, of course, but he hasn't said anything about when he's coming back and, also, I think that a date with someone new may give me a new perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Unless he makes a time/place plan in advance with you (does he know when he is returning?) I would not do the chatty texting thing with John - it is a bad way to get to know him in this situation and he has not put in the effort to reschedule with you so you have to assume that he is a text buddy right now and nothing else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Unless he makes a time/place plan in advance with you (does he know when he is returning?) I would not do the chatty texting thing with John - it is a bad way to get to know him in this situation and he has not put in the effort to reschedule with you so you have to assume that he is a text buddy right now and nothing else. Well, today, I just replied to his good morning and, yes, I am assuming he's a text buddy...I don't know if he knows when he'll be back but I imagine he does..I mean he had said they're sending him for 3 days but he hasn't told me when exactly he's returning and I haven't asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Well, today, I just replied to his good morning and, yes, I am assuming he's a text buddy...I don't know if he knows when he'll be back but I imagine he does..I mean he had said they're sending him for 3 days but he hasn't told me when exactly he's returning and I haven't asked. Right. So if your goal is to explore a potential relationship with him I would not text back and forth without a time and place plan for a date. If you enjoy the texting/flirting/compliments and you don't mind giving the impression that you are overly available (this is all my opinion of course) then continue. You want to be that special lady who he'd better lock down a date with right now even if it's for a week from now so that she doesn't get snapped up by some other guy. I wouldn't be rude of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Kyle called. We talked for a few minutes, he asked how my day was, I asked about his, he said he's meeting a friend tonight, I said I'm going to the gym and that was it. He mentioned nothing about tomorrow or Saturday or meeting, in general...which is fine by me as it gives me an excuse to say I've made plans if he asks tomorrow. I wasn't thrilled about him, anyway. As for John, he hasn't texted since this morning. Batya, I agree with everything you say but I'm not sure what you suggest I should do. Not reply to his texts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Kyle called. We talked for a few minutes, he asked how my day was, I asked about his, he said he's meeting a friend tonight, I said I'm going to the gym and that was it. He mentioned nothing about tomorrow or Saturday or meeting, in general...which is fine by me as it gives me an excuse to say I've made plans if he asks tomorrow. I wasn't thrilled about him, anyway. As for John, he hasn't texted since this morning. Batya, I agree with everything you say but I'm not sure what you suggest I should do. Not reply to his texts? "I'm really enjoying chatting with you and hope your trip is going well. I have a busy weekend planned so I might not be able to chat as much but I look forward to seeing you when you get back - just let me know when you know what your schedule is and I'm sure we can figure out a time to meet." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 He just texted me 'good evening, sweet missmarple, how are you tonight?' I don't think I can reply to that with 'I have a busy weekend planned'..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 He just texted me 'good evening, sweet missmarple, how are you tonight?' I don't think I can reply to that with 'I have a busy weekend planned'..lol "Going well thank you -I hope you have a great night and I look forward to saying good evening in person -let me know when you think you might be free"/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 So, after a few 'pleasantries' I asked when he's coming back. He said either Saturday morning or Saturday evening and then 'he's all mine'. I said I'm looking forward to seeing him again and told him to have fun tonight (he said he's going out for a drink with colleagues) and then we said good night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 So, after a few 'pleasantries' I asked when he's coming back. He said either Saturday morning or Saturday evening and then 'he's all mine'. I said I'm looking forward to seeing him again and told him to have fun tonight (he said he's going out for a drink with colleagues) and then we said good night. OK -that sounds good -and very soon, too. Would be even better if he planned a Sunday date (in case he gets back too late Saturday) but seems reasonable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 I woke up this morning to 2 text messages from Kyle. One was from late at night (after 11!) saying good night and he hopes we can meet tomorrow (today), the other one from early in the morning saying good morning. No idea why he couldn't have told me about today when we talked at 7pm but, in any case, it's too late. I'm not replying to him at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 Great I was talking to my best friend about John and she asked if on his text messages, I see the country's he says he's at code in front of his number. I checked and, no, his number is the same as when he texted me from our country. She says that means he's not abroad at all. I'm awful with technology...does anyone here know if I'm supposed to see a code there or not? Keep in mind we're talking about text messages from Europe to Europe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I thought your phone number stays the same..... I don't see why it would change. People just call me normally when I'm abroad (call my american number and I answer wherever I am) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I'm pretty sure his number wouldn't change. There are special codes you use from America to Europe, of course. But he could be using Wifi or something to send messages to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 I'm pretty sure his number wouldn't change. There are special codes you use from America to Europe, of course. But he could be using Wifi or something to send messages to you. but even with those codes, you still call the mobile phone in the same way. You don't get assigned a new country code when you are calling on your mobile phone from a new country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 Ah, ok. False alarm then. Of course, it doesn't mean he is where he says he is but, at least, it doesn't mean the opposite, either..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 Your country code for your phone number doesn't change if you are traveling elsewhere. Agreed, false alarm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2016 Author Share Posted February 12, 2016 He just texted me 'good afternoon, dear missmarple...things are hectic over here but I hope I finish in time to be back Saturday morning...I can't tell you how much I'd rather be somewhere having coffee with you' I replied that I'm getting ready for the gym and then out for dinner and let me know what time you're flying tomorrow. We'll see if he does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 Sounds like he's excited about your date! I hope it goes well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YouCanDeleteThisAccount Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 As a guy, I can say he sounds genuinely interested. No one can be certain he's being honest, but I personally don't see any indication to assume it anything other than what he says it is. Always good to be cautious, but I say enjoy the banter for now and assume he'll set something up soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted February 12, 2016 Share Posted February 12, 2016 Just one observation MM. His texts sound fun, endearing, flirty. Yours sound....ummm...logical. Ok....let me know when you come back. Do you ever respond flirty back...like I'd much rather be sitting with you having coffee too! Those kinds of txts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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