missmarple Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 I understand. I can't relate to why someone you plan to meet for the first time should keep in touch with you before you meet- isn't it sufficient interest that he made a plan to meet you in person? They shouldn't. I never said that. I think what I said was clear (obviously not..lol). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 They shouldn't. I never said that. I think what I said was clear (obviously not..lol). OK -good to know you didn't hold that against him. It wasn't clear. If you weren't that into him obviously in this situation it doesn't matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 2, 2016 Author Share Posted February 2, 2016 So, I was talking to this guy online (47, single, very good-looking, excellent style of writing, things in common blah blah) and after almost 1 hour he says he's only here temporarily and in the summer he's leaving for his hometown (8 hrs away!). I said then why are we even talking, I'm looking for a relationship and he goes 'it's up to you to convince me to stay here after summer, too'. I passed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 Simon (the guy I had gone out with on Saturday and called me on Sunday but I couldn't meet him), called in the afternoon while I was at the gym. I called him right after, we talked for a few minutes and he asked when I'm free to meet again. I said that I can make it tomorrow, he said he's working late and was I free Saturday but it's when I'm taking my friends out for my b/day.....so, we agreed on Sunday. I'll call him Sunday morning to confirm it. It was nice to hear from him...who'd have thought I'd like to hear from the funeral guy...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophieGrace Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I don't remember funeral guy - can you give a quick summary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I don't remember funeral guy - can you give a quick summary? 56, works at a company, never married, no kids, good-looking....we had first talked on the phone 3 weeks ago or so, I hadn't been impressed, he had kept talking about his 2 brothers he had lost recently (thus the funeral guy nickname..lol) hadn't asked anything about me and hadn't asked me out (he had said call me when you want to meet), so, I had written him off. However, he kept in touch with a phonecall/text message here and there and, eventually, asked me out last Saturday. He was much better in person and I had a good time. Sunday he called in the afternoon asking to meet, I couldn't because I already had plans and he called again last night and we're meeting this Sunday. That's it so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Simon called late in the afternoon saying he finished work early and did I want to meet tonight...but I told him I've already made plans and we'll see each other on Sunday like we said. It's way too soon but I get the feeling he's a bit 'last minute' type which isn't my style at all. We'll see if this is a pattern or just coincidental. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm sure you've already said this, but you seem to have such luck so many contacts, calls and first meets - what site do you use? I rarely have that kind of luck. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm sure you've already said this, but you seem to have such luck so many contacts, calls and first meets - what site do you use? I rarely have that kind of luck. LOL It's a local site (European country). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 It's a local site (European country). Man the states need to step it up! I'm jealous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 are you writing back to everyone or do you filter? I get a lot of emails but many of them are so generic I don't even bother replying. Like, "Hi." or 'hey' or 'wsp'. No photo, no additional information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 are you writing back to everyone or do you filter? I get a lot of emails but many of them are so generic I don't even bother replying. Like, "Hi." or 'hey' or 'wsp'. No photo, no additional information. Well, first I check the message itself..if it's spelled correctly..lol. Then, I look at the profile to see age/marital status/what they're looking for/pics..and, then, I reply. Still, I only end up meeting about 1 out of 20 guys I talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skern Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yeah, but at least you recognize the passive aggressive behavior so you know better to not let yourself get sucked in!! Keep strong! You're headed in the right direction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 MM also lives in a big city! I think I live in a big enough area...close to 200,000 combining 4 cities. One is 100,000. But when you compare that to Chicago, New York, LA or London....small potatoes. But I find maybe one a year I'd be interested in...and then they don't like me! lol Seems like they are the same old faces, same old pics, for YEARS! I feel bad for those that live way out in the sticks!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 MM also lives in a big city Yes, that's a big part of the reason why I meet so many guys. There are over 5,000,000 people in my city....I have no idea how people who live in small towns or villages date...it must be very difficult to meet new people when you know almost everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue_Skirt Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I live in the country side and there is no real BIG city nearby. When I was on an online dating site, I have been driving 2-3 hours for a date. That’s one of the reasons I never do coffee dates and I only have dates on the weekend. I prefer to write longer messages for a little while, have a couple of phone calls and then meet in person if I think the guy is interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophieGrace Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I live in a big American city and occasionally use dating sites, but I have had a similar experience to Annie24. Lots of emails but hardly any of the men make an effort. It's just "hey" or "yr hot" or a super long missive explaining their entire lives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I live in a big American city and occasionally use dating sites, but I have had a similar experience to Annie24. Lots of emails but hardly any of the men make an effort. It's just "hey" or "yr hot" or a super long missive explaining their entire lives. yes, i got one of those also recently. His photos were really nice and he had some interesting things to say so I was interested to meet him. It was a bit over the top and dramatic/romantic though. So I wrote him back. His long missive email seemed to imply (if I read it right) that he lives in another major city but comes to mine often for work. I wrote him to let me know next time he is in town and then we can meet for a coffee. He said, "No, I live in XXXX, and I used to work in (my town) but I no longer work there but I love that city." I just wrote back the same thing basically, "Ok, well let me know next time you are in town and we can meet up." Then no response. I don't fully understand what happened.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Well...I don't drink. I rarely drink. Except on my birthday...and, tonight, I took my friends out for a late b/day dinner...and I had some wine...not much...2-3 glasses (with a big dinner...lol)...but it was enough to make me text John at 11.30pm....yes, the same one I wished good luck to a week ago. I'm not sure why I texted him. I didn't even expect him to reply but he did. All I said in my first text was hello, how are you, he replied he's fine, said he's happy to hear from me and asked where I am. I said out with friends, he said we should get together next week, I said ok, call me and good night, he said good night and repeated how glad he is 'we're talking again'. Not sure how I feel about it...I guess it was nice he replied, at least...but after what happened a week ago, I don't expect anything from him...not even to call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophieGrace Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Well good for you MM. I know you liked him, and now you'll now for sure if it was just a misunderstanding /difference in communication styles or if he really is a flake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Gosh, weirdly out of character for you! I hope it goes well. Maybe he'll surprise you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Lol WithLove!!!! I guess that's what drunken text's will get ya! Maybe MM should have a few glasses of wine more often??? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 The date with Simon is off. Ok, the background: we had last talked on Friday. He had said 'we'll meet Sunday, any time you like' and I had said I'd call him at around 11 to 12 to agree on a time/place. Sooooooo, he calls me at 11 and when I told him let's meet at 7 and asked if he had a place in mind, he goes 'oh, I can't because a friend is in town and we're meeting at 7'...and he suggested we meet at 2pm. I could have met him at 2..but I was very annoyed at him. When I tell someone I'll meet you on so and so day, any time you like, if another offer comes along, I get in touch with the first person and let them know that my plans have changed...I don't tell them at the last moment. So, I told him I can't make it and let's do it some other day...he said maybe we can do it 5 to 6.30? I said no. It's already been 8 days since our first date, he turned down my offer for Friday (which he tried to take back at the last moment AGAIN) and now he pulls this on me. Something tells me that either our styles are very different or he's just dating many women at the same time (which I do, too, but, at least, I know when I'm free!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sophie274 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I don't know ... This seems to be the result of the "lets talk at 11/12 to decide on a time". So, essentially he would have had to keep his whole day free, just to make sure he'd be free at your preferred time? He called you promptly at the agreed upon time and was free for the next 8 hours. I don't really see what he did wrong, and also don't understand why you didn't ask to meet in the evening when you talked on Friday instead of leaving it to the last minute. I just reread the history with him: First meet on Saturday. He called on Sunday to meet up at the last minute, you declined. He called you again on Thursday to ask to meet, you said how about Friday, he was going to work late and countered with Saturday, you all settled on Sunday and to call at 11 to confirm. He called Friday when he ended up not having to work late, you were busy. He called today and was willing to meet up during an 8 hour period (as far as I understand, you guys never spoke of dinner or the evening). He sounds very eager to meet. I completely understand why you might not want to meet last minute, or are just already busy, but I do feel he's demonstrated interest and I don't feel like he keeps changing the game plan on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 I don't see him as 'very eager' to meet at all. If he was, we would have met in the last 8 days. Yes, we hadn't agreed on a time for today but when someone says 'any time you like', it means exactly that in my book. It doesn't mean 'only between 2 to 6.30'. PS Re-reading what has happened with him, just count the 'at the last minute's'. That's why I said that we may have different styles. I'm not a last minute sort of person and I've told him 3-4 times already. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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