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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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You don't seem to give anyone chances and dismiss them to quickly in my opinion.

 

I don't give chances to men who behave in a way I find unacceptable. To me, getting so drunk on a first date is unacceptable and your example has nothing to do with it. As I said, he wasn't tipsy, he was drunk, he could hardly talk or walk.

i don't want to stick around to find out if he has a problem with alcohol or not.

Also, I'm not sure which guys I've dismised so easily..considering that the last guys I went on more than one date with were the ones who disappeared...one of them wanted me to go to his house, the other one couldn't keep his hands away, etc, etc...and, still, I gave them a chance and they decided to disappear.

When a first date ends and I can't wait to get out of there, I don't see why I should give the guy a second chance.

 

Speaking of which, he called again and again I didn't pick up. I think I've dodged a bullet with this one.

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I see nothing wrong with, and in fact, support, your decision to dismiss this one. I don't really see how anyone could think it's acceptable to go beyond one, maybe two, drinks on a first meet. Especially at an age of experience. You are there to make a good impression and to evaluate the other person, neither of which you can do while inebriated. Lack of boundaries and judgement, not stellar qualities.

 

And, as you have indicated, I have also lived long-term with an alcoholic. Having been there once is more than enough incentive to avoid anything that could possibly resemble a similar situation.

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Lately, I'm having some 'great' luck with men!

 

Case no1: 48, divorced, no kids, lives close by, wrote very well online and asked me to take it to phone. We did. Very nice voice. 15 mins of phone chatting go by and I realise he hasn't asked a single thing about me, so, I tell him 'do you want to ask me something, too?' (I had asked a few things). He goes 'yeah...what colour was the last pair of high heels you bought?'

 

Case no2: 46, divorced, very handsome, lives 5 mins away, excellent use of language (at least online), he asks if he can call me. I realise I hadn't asked how long he's been divorced, so, I ask. He goes 'oh, I'm not...I've been separated for 4 yrs'

 

Case no3: 52, divorced, older kids, good-looking, blah blah. First online chat he asks what's my favourite part of male anatomy

 

Case no4: the guy with the funerals who keeps texting me every couple of days and has never asked me out

 

Go me! LOL

 

PS The handsome gym guy (I had mentioned him a while ago) turned out to be married with 2 kids.

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Funeral guy called, I told him I'm about to go out he said have a good time and we'll talk some other day. Thrilling.

 

 

New guy. Brian, 52, 5'9, brown hair/eyes, ok-looking, a driver, divorced for 5 years with 2 kids (boy 25/girl 11, she lives with mum) and lives an hour away. We had a nice talk online. I asked him about the distance (although it's not that big considering it's a big city but still), he said he likes driving, anyway..lol He's a smoker like me, he loves animals, used to have a dog, lives alone and wants a serious relationship. He's the only guy I've talked to online who asked me who moves if we end up together and we agreed that we're both open to the possibility of moving. Then he asked for my phone number. I gave it to him, told him I can't talk tonight (I'm going out) but he can call in the morning and he said he will. So, more about him tomorrow.

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Brian called and we talked for a while. He sounds normal enough, he answered all my questions and I have a better idea about him now. I asked about his divorce. He said his wife had been his highschool sweetheart and that the reason for the divorce was that she cheated on him with a colleague who was also married. Anyway, the divorce was consensual and they're on civil terms now.

He didn't ask much about me but he was a bit nervous, so, maybe, that was why. He asked about my schedule for next week and which day would suit me for a meeting and we finally agreed on Wednesday.

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Brian, just like yesterday, texted good night and I texted good morning and so did he. However, today, he added 'when can I call you to talk about tomorrow's meeting?'.

Well, I have a busy day ahead of me, so, I replied saying I'll be busy and I'd rather we talked in person tomorrow and I asked if something has changed. He said 'no, baby, I just wanted to hear your voice'...to which I replied that a/he'll hear it tomorrow and b/if he calls me baby again, we won't meet at all.

He said 'ok, missmarple, see you tomorrow at 6.30'

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Brian isn't my type at all. He looked ok, not handsome and not ugly...the problem is, well, he's a jerk. First of all, he only talked about his job, his family, women and football. Then, he informed me that he had cheated on his wife, too, (before she cheated on him) 'a number of times'..then he told me that he doesn't pay child support (for his younger kid), that he had told his wife 'since you cheated on me you're not getting any money' and she accepted it because she didn't want to take him to court..and finally he said that he had told his 5yo daughter 'your mother has someone else that's why we're getting a divorce'...because 'kids must know the truth'.

 

He asked me to go for dinner after coffee, I said no, thank you, then, he asked if I like him, he said that I look even better than my pics and that he felt 'we could have something serious'. I said I have a headache and have to go..lol

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Brian isn't my type at all. He looked ok, not handsome and not ugly...the problem is, well, he's a jerk. First of all, he only talked about his job, his family, women and football. Then, he informed me that he had cheated on his wife, too, (before she cheated on him) 'a number of times'..then he told me that he doesn't pay child support (for his younger kid), that he had told his wife 'since you cheated on me you're not getting any money' and she accepted it because she didn't want to take him to court..and finally he said that he had told his 5yo daughter 'your mother has someone else that's why we're getting a divorce'...because 'kids must know the truth'.

 

He asked me to go for dinner after coffee, I said no, thank you, then, he asked if I like him, he said that I look even better than my pics and that he felt 'we could have something serious'. I said I have a headache and have to go..lol

 

ugh, what a winner!!!

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ugh, just ugh.

 

Maybe, just maybe, I can justify the cheating; I mean, sure the marriage must have been long broken for them to both have cheated on each other.

Sure, it doesn't say much for his integrity that he cheated but like I said, MAYBE I can justify that in my head.

 

But definitely NOT badmouthing her mother to their 5 year old daughter! Who does that?!

Ugh.

 

And to state all of that to you so proudly! Bullet dodged, Miss M.

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