WithLove Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 It's strange that he's being pretty disrespectful of your space boundaries. After you having to remove his hands 4-5 times, you'd think he'd get the picture. How long until it stops being funny and starts being annoying? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 It's strange that he's being pretty disrespectful of your space boundaries. After you having to remove his hands 4-5 times, you'd think he'd get the picture. How long until it stops being funny and starts being annoying? Yes. In my experience, when someone is that touchy-feely early on AND is that effusive (i.e. telling me how much he likes me over and over again), it's usually a bad sign -- the sign of someone whose interest will disappear abruptly once he gets to know me a bit more. I mean, he doesn't KNOW you well enough to like you so much that he has to keep repeating it. It just seems...odd, and in my opinion (and in my experience) disingenuous. I hate to sound cynical, but this type of behavior from someone you've just met is a bit much, and I would really tread carefully here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 "Yes. In my experience, when someone is that touchy-feely early on AND is that effusive (i.e. telling me how much he likes me over and over again), it's usually a bad sign -- the sign of someone whose interest will disappear abruptly once he gets to know me a bit more. I mean, he doesn't KNOW you well enough to like you so much that he has to keep repeating it. It just seems...odd, and in my opinion (and in my experience) disingenuous. " I wish you'd been my friend when I was dating because the way you put it made far more sense than more general reactions I used to get or tell myself -sure sometimes it's obviously "too fast" when the man pressures for sex right away but what you describe - the strong come on leads to the abrupt departure -yup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 It think maybe I just pick up on this stuff way faster than most people I got a weird vibe...that he was too over the top...from him after the first date...*shrugs* Are you going out with him again MM? Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 I don't find him too fast regarding physical contact. I mean, he's held my hand and touched my knee..that's much less than other people our age that I know of have done on 3 dates. He does try to kiss me but, again, I find it normal. Yes, he should/could have stopped trying much sooner than he did but, frankly, I don't find it annoying...it's hard to describe on paper but he does it in a cute way...I don't feel pressured and he doesn't act annoyed...he laughs it off and I laugh it off and we continue talking about other things. Anyway, ladies, my issue is that I'm not sure I'm attracted to him. If I had felt like kissing him, I would have..but I haven't. He's good looking but, as I've said before, I'm not sure he's my type personality-wise...and I don't know if that can change. I don't know if I'll go out with him again...I change my mind all the time. He has many things I look for in a man, from what I know until now, that is. I like his looks, he seems to be stable, he has a grown kid, a good job, a good education, he lives close to me, our background is similar, we have a similar sense of humour, we like same movies/music, all that...on paper, he's fine. On the other hand, the chemistry isn't right...or, maybe, the fact that he tries so hard is what puts me off. I wonder if I should talk to him about it when he calls (if he does, of course). I just don't know what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 If he doesn't call or ask you out again, would you feel relieved or disappointed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 If he doesn't call or ask you out again, would you feel relieved or disappointed? Good question. I wouldn't feel relieved, for sure. I wouldn't feel disappointed either. I think I wouldn't feel anything, basically...I would just assume he wanted something I couldn't give (not necessarily sex but more physical contact or something like that). I think I'll just talk to him about it when we talk next...on the phone, not in person. If he's not willing to give me time to decide whether I'm into him or not, there's no point in going out together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 Well, that conversation happened sooner than I expected..lol. He just called me. He was on his way home and he parked the car to call me. So, we talked a bit about this and that and then I said that I have something to tell him..and I told him that I feel uncomfortable with all his efforts to kiss me, etc, that I like him, in general, but he's going too fast for me. I was prepared to say more but he stopped me and said he understands, that he's going to stop and that he's not like that either but...he was doing it because he wanted to 'see' something. I didn't ask him what but I got the feeling he meant it was something like a test. Then he said that he understands it's pointless to keep trying when I'm obviously not that type and then we just talked about our next date..he suggested tomorrow, I said I'm busy, then he said Friday, I'm busy again (have plans with friends on both days) and, finally, we agreed on Saturday. He's going to think about a place and call me Saturday morning to tell me. I'm not sure what to make of what he said. I absolutely hate people who 'test' other people if that was what he meant. I didn't tell him what I thought he meant because I plan on asking him in person and see what he says on his own. Or he didn't mean anything and just said it because he could tell from my tone of voice that if he disagreed or tried to 'convince' me that I'm overreacting or something, I would end things. I guess I'll have my answer on Saturday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 My guess is that he cancels for Saturday because he wants someone who is going to respond in a certain way (yes, even though he put effort into scheduling a date). I would have asked him to clarify what he meant by "see something". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 4, 2015 Author Share Posted November 4, 2015 My guess is that he cancels for Saturday because he wants someone who is going to respond in a certain way (yes, even though he put effort into scheduling a date). I would have asked him to clarify what he meant by "see something". If he cancels, he cancels..no big deal. I didn't want to ask him because he sounded like he didn't want to say and I thought it'd be better if I asked him in person. In any case, at least, he knows where I stand and it's up to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted November 4, 2015 Share Posted November 4, 2015 If he cancels, he cancels..no big deal. I didn't want to ask him because he sounded like he didn't want to say and I thought it'd be better if I asked him in person. In any case, at least, he knows where I stand and it's up to him. Yes, in person works much better. I find that if there are these kinds of issues after only a few dates there usually are no more dates (a good thing since you both can find more compatible people). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 5, 2015 Author Share Posted November 5, 2015 Peter emailed me asking when we're going to meet. Obviously, he's not on good terms with phones..lol. Anyway, I replied that I'm very busy these days (which is true) and I could probably make it next Wednesday or Thursday. I said he can call me Monday to talk about it...he said he will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 Lots of talks with my friends about Greg these days. Half of them tell me if he hasn't called by noon today, I should call him myself. The other half say not to. I have no idea what I'm going to do if he hasn't called by a normal time (2-3pm at the latest). PS Last night I was online on the site when he appeared. As I was about to message him, he logged out. It doesn't mean anything but it did make me wonder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 He didn't call by 3pm, so, I made plans with friends. Obviously, he was only in it for one thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 Peter finally called. I couldn't tell much from his voice, he only called to talk about meeting tomorrow (a friend cancelled on me and I emailed telling him I'm free tomorrow). We agreed on the place and he's going to call me later tonight to fix the time because his daughter has something to do tomorrow (he wasn't sure of the time) and he has to drive her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 7, 2015 Author Share Posted November 7, 2015 Peter just called and we agreed on 6pm tomorrow. We'll see how this goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 He didn't call by 3pm, so, I made plans with friends. Obviously, he was only in it for one thing. Good to find out so quickly! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Well, that conversation happened sooner than I expected..lol. He just called me. He was on his way home and he parked the car to call me. So, we talked a bit about this and that and then I said that I have something to tell him..and I told him that I feel uncomfortable with all his efforts to kiss me, etc, that I like him, in general, but he's going too fast for me. I was prepared to say more but he stopped me and said he understands, that he's going to stop and that he's not like that either but...he was doing it because he wanted to 'see' something. I didn't ask him what but I got the feeling he meant it was something like a test. Then he said that he understands it's pointless to keep trying when I'm obviously not that type and then we just talked about our next date..he suggested tomorrow, I said I'm busy, then he said Friday, I'm busy again (have plans with friends on both days) and, finally, we agreed on Saturday. He's going to think about a place and call me Saturday morning to tell me. I'm not sure what to make of what he said. I absolutely hate people who 'test' other people if that was what he meant. I didn't tell him what I thought he meant because I plan on asking him in person and see what he says on his own. Or he didn't mean anything and just said it because he could tell from my tone of voice that if he disagreed or tried to 'convince' me that I'm overreacting or something, I would end things. I guess I'll have my answer on Saturday. Just wanted to 'see' ?? That is so uncool. Sounds like you called him on his behavior and he panicked and made up an excuse on the spot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Maybe he wanted to "see" your boobs?? lol. In any case, sounds like it is not a match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 Just wanted to 'see' ?? That is so uncool. Sounds like you called him on his behavior and he panicked and made up an excuse on the spot. That's what a friend of mine said, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 I'm disappointed. Peter looked good, we had many things in common, similar personalities and we chatted non-stop for 2 hours. What is the problem you might ask? By the end of the date he casually mentioned he's not divorced...he's been separated for 5 years and he said 'divorces are too expensive'..yeah, right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 What the hell is wrong with these guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 8, 2015 Author Share Posted November 8, 2015 He just messaged me on the site saying he had a great time, etc. I replied I did, too..which is true. notalady, I have no idea. I even asked him why he had put 'divorced' and not 'separated' on his profile and he said he hadn't 'noticed' there was that option Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 Hahaha! You could suggest he get his eyes checked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 eye doctors are expensive as well, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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