missmarple Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 I just got back from my date with Greg. +: He is good-looking, nice face, good body (he goes to the gym), well-dressed, polite and a good listener. He smiled often, seemed to be into me, paid me some nice compliments - not sure if he meant what he said or he just wanted to make a good impression but he said I'm smart and I look better than most of the women he's met through the site. He seems to have his life in order, he only has his mum who doesn't live with him and his son who is 20 and at the university. He insisted on paying the bill (not a big bill but still). Finally, there was chemistry between us..not anything huge but we seemed to be attracted to each other. -: He talked a bit too much about money which is a subject I find boring but I guess it makes sense since it's his job and he has studied economics. He was a bit too touchy for my taste...he often touched my arm and leg and tried to hold my hand but I told him I don't feel comfortable and he stopped it. Another thing I didn't like was that he had had a short relationship with a married woman a few years ago..he said it had 'just happened' but he didn't seem remorseful or anything..too cynical for my taste. He said we'll talk tomorrow. I think I may go out with him once more if he asks, just to make sure we aren't compatible..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 He called me today while I was at work and had my cell off. I can't bring myself to call him back. Still undecided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 He called me today while I was at work and had my cell off. I can't bring myself to call him back. Still undecided. My two cents- if you cannot bring yourself to call him back then do not. At minimum you should be motivated (i.e. if not enthusiastic) to see him again. Anything else is a waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 I just found one more missed call by him..this time I was taking a shower and didn't even hear the phone. Plus a text message: 'I feel enchanted by you and your sweetness and I'd like to talk to you again...up to you' I texted back that I had had a rough day at work (not a lie, I do feel very tired) and he can call me tomorrow if he wants. He replied with ok. It gives me some more time to think about it. I'm not often this confused about wanting to see someone again or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LoveSoDeep Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 I just found one more missed call by him..this time I was taking a shower and didn't even hear the phone. Plus a text message: 'I feel enchanted by you and your sweetness and I'd like to talk to you again...up to you' I texted back that I had had a rough day at work (not a lie, I do feel very tired) and he can call me tomorrow if he wants. He replied with ok. It gives me some more time to think about it. I'm not often this confused about wanting to see someone again or not. He seems very "smooth" to me he definitely has game.....which can be intriguing.....but it also usually makes me wonder "why is he so good at this?" This could just be who he is but, I'd be on the lookout to make sure he's not a player. I say give it until tomorrow and if you're still not really into it when he calls tomorrow then let him know and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 I'll talk to him tomorrow (if he calls) and, depending on the conversation, I may agree on one more date..or not. I don't really feel he's smooth or, at least, if he is, I've met much better ones..lol..and it got them nowhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 The fact that he has had a relationship with a married woman would really, really put me off, equally as swarmy is his attitude about it: "It just happened". No, relationships don't "just happen". Opportunities just happen. A relationship is a choice and he could have said no to that opportunity and walked on. Makes me wonder if he's the sort to cheat in a LTR because "welp, love JUST HAPPENS, I couldn't help it". Ick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Yes, I get that but at least he has some honesty about it. Lots of people have done the same but it stays a secret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Yes, I get that but at least he has some honesty about it. Lots of people have done the same but it stays a secret. The interesting thing is, given no one is obliged to reveal their past relationships in any detail, a lot of people who did see someone who was married or attached otherwise would've kept it quiet, out of shame because they know they've done the wrong thing and won't do it again, and not wanting to leave a bad first impression of course. This guy revealing it can be from a place of honesty, although think about it, there is really no reason at all why he needed to reveal such information. So the other possibility is that he genuinely thinks that it is no big deal and very comfortable with this fact, perhaps even proud of it (in some people's cases), therefore had no issue revealing such information. And that would be cause for concern for me if that's his mentality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 The interesting thing is, given no one is obliged to reveal their past relationships in any detail, a lot of people who did see someone who was married or attached otherwise would've kept it quiet, out of shame because they know they've done the wrong thing and won't do it again, and not wanting to leave a bad first impression of course. This guy revealing it can be from a place of honesty, although think about it, there is really no reason at all why he needed to reveal such information. So the other possibility is that he genuinely thinks that it is no big deal and very comfortable with this fact, perhaps even proud of it (in some people's cases), therefore had no issue revealing such information. And that would be cause for concern for me if that's his mentality. Yes, I think you are right Lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 He seems very "smooth" to me he definitely has game.....which can be intriguing.....but it also usually makes me wonder "why is he so good at this?" This could just be who he is but, I'd be on the lookout to make sure he's not a player. I say give it until tomorrow and if you're still not really into it when he calls tomorrow then let him know and move on. Smooth?!?! Smooth?!?! What?!?!!? I think this guy lacks game. He's WAY over the top. It's like....he's saying what he thinks chicks want to hear *gags* Run away Miss Marple! This guy is a weirdo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Regarding the married woman issue. We were talking about past relationships...I had asked him if he's had a serious relationship since his divorce (7 years ago). I don't usually ask that question but I wanted to change the subject from money/banks/economy and we had already discussed music..lol...by the way, our favourite song is the same, Hotel California, and we listen to the same kind of music which I took as a good sign So, anyway, I asked that question, he told me he had had a longer relationship for 2 years and a shorter one that lasted only for 6 months..and I asked why it had been so short and he told me because she was married (that will teach me to ask personal questions..lol). A weirdo he's not, or, at least, I don't get any weird vibes from him. What I'm afraid of is that we may have different values...I can understand someone who says you know what, I made a bad decision because of this and that..but not when he considers that decision perfectly justified and 'normal'...that attitude scares me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Weirdo might have been the wrong word. But when a guy says flowery things like he did in that text....after one date...it's kind of creepy. I guess we have different things that creep us out...we have different levels of what we'll tolerate too (in a broader dating sense)...we're all different. Idk...his words raised my hackles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 He just called me. He sounded perfectly normal on the phone, we talked a bit about this and that, he complimented me again..this time he said I make him feel comfortable, that I seem to be very relaxed and he feels relaxed, too, when he talks to me (all 3 times..lol) and he asked if I'm up for drinks tonight. I said I already have plans and he asked about tomorrow...and I agreed to meet him. I figured I have nothing to lose (no other prospects on the horizon for now) and I may get a better idea of what he's really like. We'll see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 My second date with Greg was better than the first one. He took me to a very nice bar, very atmospheric, with good music. He had a vodka, I had a...milkshake..lol. Anyway, at first, he wanted to sit next to me but I sat on the other side...he tried to get me to sit next to each other but I insisted. The conversation was nice, it had a few awkward moments (mostly when he would stop and start with the compliments) but, overall, I had a good time. After about an hour, he got up and sat next to me. He held my hand and touched my knee a few times. I talked to him about it. He said it's just his style when he likes someone and feels comfortable with them, that he doesn't mean anything by it, etc. Anyway, then, he kissed me on the cheek but it didn't annoy me, it was a very light kiss. He said he was very happy I agreed to meet him again, that I am very sweet and all that and asked if I like him. I said I do but that I don't know him at all and I think he's a bit too fast for me. He said I can take my time. He paid for my milkshake and I said I'm paying next time...he said 'oh, so, we'll meet again' which I found rather sweet. In general, he's not exactly my type personality-wise (he talks more about things than ideas, for one thing) but I'll give him a chance...as long as he's careful with his hands..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Well, Greg sounds OK, if a bit physically pushy. I have to admit, I giggled at the part about wanting to sit next to you. I HATE that. My boyfriend and I were at a restaurant one night, and we saw this couple sitting next to each other in a TINY booth -- they could both barely fit next to each other, and it looked SO awkward and uncomfortable, especially when they were trying to talk to each other. I asked my boyfriend what he thought about people sitting next to each to each other in restaurant/bar situations, and he said, "Honestly? I think it's weird." I was so relieved because I've always felt that way, and I had, in the past, dated a guy who insisted on sitting next to me rather than accross from me at restaurants. It was hard to eat with him sitting right there -- I felt like I couldn't move my arms/elbows properly -- and it was really awkward trying to talk because we both had to turn our heads in a small space. Not a dealbreaker, necessarily, but....it has always seemed really, really odd to me when people do that. This guy sounds a bit "hands-y," and a bit more effusive (in terms of heaping on compliments) than I would be comfortable with, but...if you like him and you're open to seeing him again, you should. Let us know how it turns out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Haha I'm afraid I'm one of "those" couples that like to sit next to each other in restaurants/bars BUT only if there's enough space. It wasn't right at the start of dating though, just started happening more as we became closer, like 1-2 months into dating. I would've been weirded out if a guy wants to sit next to me on the first few dates. I personally don't like how he's going quite fast in terms of physical and compliments, I'm glad you told him so. We shall see how it goes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sportster2005 Posted November 1, 2015 Share Posted November 1, 2015 Regarding the married woman issue. We were talking about past relationships...I had asked him if he's had a serious relationship since his divorce (7 years ago). I don't usually ask that question but I wanted to change the subject from money/banks/economy and we had already discussed music..lol...by the way, our favourite song is the same, Hotel California, and we listen to the same kind of music which I took as a good sign So, anyway, I asked that question, he told me he had had a longer relationship for 2 years and a shorter one that lasted only for 6 months..and I asked why it had been so short and he told me because she was married (that will teach me to ask personal questions..lol). A weirdo he's not, or, at least, I don't get any weird vibes from him. What I'm afraid of is that we may have different values...I can understand someone who says you know what, I made a bad decision because of this and that..but not when he considers that decision perfectly justified and 'normal'...that attitude scares me. Did he know she was married when he started seeing her? Six months or one day, it's all dating a married person. It would scare me also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 1, 2015 Author Share Posted November 1, 2015 Did he know she was married when he started seeing her? Six months or one day, it's all dating a married person. It would scare me also. Yes, apparently, they had been working together (not in the same office but same field) for a while and they often went out for lunch or coffee..always without the husband...he never got to meet her husband. If we keep seeing each other, I'll ask more details about that story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 He just called, we talked for a few minutes (we've both agreed we don't like talking much on the phone, that it's just to arrange a date or if something comes up), he told me he's going to start going back to the gym, I said I will, too, and then he asked when he can see me. I said I'm going out with a friend tonight, he asked about tomorrow, I said ok and we made a date. Whatever happens with this one, at least, arranging dates is easy and not time-consuming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 2, 2015 Author Share Posted November 2, 2015 I exchanged a few emails with a new guy, let's call him Peter. He's 51, we have the same birthday (he mentioned it in his first email), 6'2, light brown hair, blue eyes, good-looking, divorced with 2 daughters, 20 and 18, and has a store about half an hour away..but he comes from my neighbourhood, he grew up here. Anyway, I told him we should exchange phone numbers and we did but he kept emailing. So, I said I have to go, let's talk on the phone tomorrow...and he goes 'ok, I'll be in the store or out and about, call me...good night'. Really? Call you when? And why can't you call me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 The date no3 with Greg was, more or less, like the previous 2. He told me he likes me (about 10 times), that he wants me, he kept holding my hand, tried to kiss me (4-5 times)...but, apart from that, he opened up a bit more about his life. He told me about his family (his late father, mostly), his son (he lives with him...when he's at home..he's 20 and usually sleeps at his gf's place) and his job. I talked about myself, too, although less than he did. He laughs often and easily and that's a good thing. I enjoy his attention. Do I see myself in a relationship with him? I have no idea. He said he wants to see me again 'very soon'. In other news, Peter from the post above, emailed me just as I was leaving, asked how I'm doing and stuff. I said I'm fine but I have to go. He has my number if he wants to talk to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 I'll have to say it seems a bit over the top that he's declaring he likes you so frequently and tried to kiss you 4-5 times! When you said tried, does that mean you didn't let him? Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 When you said tried, does that mean you didn't let him? Lol LOL, exactly. I let him kiss me on the cheek and I did give him a light kiss on the lips when he took me home but that was all..but, during the date, every time he went for my lips, I turned my head the other way...he handled it well, he laughed...and a few times when I removed his hand from my knee - his favourite place to rest his hand, it seems - he looked at me with puppy eyes and went 'what did I do?'. The whole situation between us is more funny than it is annoying. It reminds me of my highschool days..lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 Lol! He'd be moving too fast for my taste. Clearly you're too, since you're keeping him (and his hands) at bay lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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