missmarple Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Wow, that's an unfortunate thing to have. I'm really surprised he mentioned it to you at all.... Usually things like that aren't spoken about with someone you don't really know. Nah, over here, health conditions aren't really a taboo. Especially IBS is very common, I know many people who suffer from it. I think I had asked him something like what are your favourite foods and that's how the issue had come up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I feel like a lot of "taboo" subjects just aren't such a big deal anymore. For example, a few weeks ago, my boyfriend texted me asking about BDSM and what my thoughts were regarding it. I guess he and some coworkers were talking about it and he just didn't know how popular a thing it is now, nor did he realize how often it's spoken about. I asked why he found it surprising, and he said he just never really spoke about sex or about what a partner's likes and dislikes were, because everything seemed good to him with prior partners. Needless to say, we speak about it a lot now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Max called me in the morning, he told me he's feeling great today, his medication worked, apparently..and we told each other what we'll be wearing tonight..lol I feel more comfortable with this date...probably because my friend knows the guy and I know, at least, that he's not married, doesn't lie about his age, his job, etc...which is much more than I know about other dates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Good luck with the date! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 The date with Max was nice. I had a good time. He's not exactly my type looks-wise (a bit too artistic, ponytail, and should gain 10 pounds, at least..lol) but he was pleasant, interesting to talk to and polite. We talked a lot about his health and his exes..lol. He has a good sense of humour but I think he's a bit too much into himself...or too polite to ask me personal questions...I couldn't tell. Anyway, he bought my coffee and asked me to text him tomorrow. I don't know if there was any chemistry there but I'll see him again if he asks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 I texted him good morning today and he called me. He asked to meet again tonight, I said I can't (not true but I didn't feel like seeing him again so soon) and he said we'll talk tomorrow to arrange something. I don't plan on texting him again tomorrow..this every day good morning thing is not really my style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 If the every day good morning thing is not your style why did you text him good morning? Since you didn't give him a date you could see him he probably assumes you're not that interested -fine to decline for the very next day but are you trying to signal you're not that into him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 If the every day good morning thing is not your style why did you text him good morning? Since you didn't give him a date you could see him he probably assumes you're not that interested -fine to decline for the very next day but are you trying to signal you're not that into him? Well, I texted him because he asked last night..but it's not something I want to keep doing (interested or not interested). As for trying to show him I'm not that interested, no, that's not true. At this point, I don't know if I'm interested or not..I just didn't want to see him again so soon..I never do that, not even with guys I'm interested in. Only exception would be if he had to leave for work or something and we couldn't meet for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Oh I get it! If I was really interested in seeing a person again I would show it by declining and then showing enthusiasm about rescheduling -if not for a specific day/time on the spot because I didn't have my calendar at least "this weekend should work -I'll call you later after I double check my calendar". I think for what it's worth it's fine you didn't want to see him so soon -I'd feel the same -just by not offering to reschedule with enthusiasm you might be signaling that you're not that interested in seeing him again, generally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 7, 2015 Author Share Posted October 7, 2015 I re-read what I wrote and I see I wasn't clear. When he said we'll arrange something tomorrow, he meant for tomorrow and I said yes to that..I just think he can call on his own for once..or text me..without me having to text him first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 7, 2015 Share Posted October 7, 2015 Cool- glad you are going to see him again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Well, yesterday he didn't contact me at all. This morning he sent a text message...quite long but, in a few words, he asked why I had disappeared, that it seems like I don't want to see him again, that he wishes me good luck, etc, etc. I was shocked. I replied that I have no idea what he's talking about and he said that he was waiting for me to call him yesterday. I sent one last message (I was at work) saying that it was obviously some misunderstanding as I thought he was the one who was supposed to call and added that I'll be at home this evening and he can call if he wants. Too insecure for my taste. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Sounds like he interpreted the way you declined the date -your tone or word choice -as lack of enthusiasm to see him in general. Or he met someone the next day who he preferred. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 The fact that he keeps asking you to contact him first, and interpreted the misunderstanding as you lost interest does come accross as insecure to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 The fact that he keeps asking you to contact him first, and interpreted the misunderstanding as you lost interest does come accross as insecure to me. I think it's fine that he wanted her to call to reschedule since he asked her out and she said no -I typically tell the person (platonic or romantic) to let me know of the next free time -it's that person's turn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 I thought they had agreed on the next day instead, just not the details? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 I thought they had agreed on the next day instead, just not the details? Exactly. He was supposed to call and let me know the details..or that's what I had understood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Exactly. He was supposed to call and let me know the details..or that's what I had understood. Yes, but texts (or even phone calls) can be misinterpreted and I'd cut him slack since you said no to the date (which is fine to say no but it does affect the turn-taking of making plans). He does sound a bit insecure and acting out about it but I'd see how the next date goes if he'll agree to reschedule. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Well, yesterday he didn't contact me at all. This morning he sent a text message...quite long but, in a few words, he asked why I had disappeared, that it seems like I don't want to see him again, that he wishes me good luck, etc, etc. I was shocked. I replied that I have no idea what he's talking about and he said that he was waiting for me to call him yesterday. I sent one last message (I was at work) saying that it was obviously some misunderstanding as I thought he was the one who was supposed to call and added that I'll be at home this evening and he can call if he wants. Too insecure for my taste. I think if he had simply sent a message to clarify "I thought you were going to call me yesterday, what happened?" That would have been perfectly fine and reasonable. The fact that he wrote a long message to claim you had disappeared and wishing you luck etc seems like he's had bad experience with women "disappearing" on him, was scared of it happening and wanted to be the first one to end things so he doesn't feel so bad about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Well, I will go on one more date with him if he asks...and if he calls today, of course. If not, I'm not going to contact him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Good plan -the text message was overkill but he can redeem himself by asking you for a proper date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 Well, he didn't call...and I'd rather he never called again, either. Too weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Occurs to me that he wanted to see you right away to do that rush towards 3rd date sex and when he saw that you weren't into it he turned it on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 I've got a phone date with a new guy this evening. Thad is 48, single, no kids, he's a medical supplier, 5'7, non-smoker, black hair/eyes. cute in his pics. I had seen his profile before but never messaged him as he doesn't smoke, although he has a 'don't care if she's a smoker' on his profile. He's same height as me but I don't really mind because I really like his face...and his profile is interesting..he has put some thought into it. I liked his message to me, too. He had really read my profile, he commented on the fact I love chess (he said he doesn't know many women who do) and he said he likes my no-nonsense approach. So, we exchanged a few messages and then he asked if I want to call him or he could call me. It was late in the evening, so, I asked for his phone number and said I'll call him tomorrow (today). He sent both his home and his cell number together with the times when I can call and I replied I'm calling him at home tonight at 8pm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Sounds like you guys have similar communication styles, keep us updated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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