missmarple Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 It's over with Alan. First of all, to give a little background info, I talked about him with a friend of mine yesterday and she suggested I should ask him out once more (if he kept talking to me, that is) because, according to her, I was the one who wasn't available for our last date and I should give him one more chance. So, I went to the site this morning and he messaged me first. We talked for about 5-10 minutes and then I told him I'm leaving Friday morning and I'll be back Sunday evening (the short trip with a friend I've mentioned before)...and I added that, since Thursday is his day off, we could meet to catch up if he doesn't have any other plans. The conversation that followed would send any sane woman through the roof...I still don't know how I kept my cool and didn't tell him where to go! Alan: sure...if you promise you'll stay longer this time mm: well, I have to get up at 6 on Friday..but we could meet earlier (our last date had been at 8.30pm) Alan: what time? mm: I don't know...at around 7pm? Alan: ok...7 to 2, then mm: what? Alan: we'll stay together until 2am mm: you must be joking..lol Alan: I've never been more serious mm: do you realise that people need to sleep, too, and, as I said, I'm getting up at 6? Alan: so what? I'm getting up at 8 mm: maybe you should try to meet a female vampire? lol Alan: I may try that, too mm: Ok, Alan...good luck and see you around........and I took him off my list. If he hadn't messaged me first twice after the date that didn't happen on Sunday, I would believe that he was trying to find a way to get rid of me..I mean, who would agree to such a date??? It's either that or he's into power games...either way, I'm definitely not the woman for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 This man's elevator does not go up to the top floor. You dodged a real bullet here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 It's over with Alan. ..and I added that, since Thursday is his day off, we could meet to catch up if he doesn't have any other plans. . MM, do you think he may have been offended because off the wording? Some people liked to be asked out in a different manner, egs, "Would you like to come to X on Thursday A? That would be nice, but if you can't or prefer not to, then no worries." I think it sounds like he probably was offended and his insistence of staying until 2pm may have been because by then he didn't want to see you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 18, 2015 Author Share Posted August 18, 2015 MM, do you think he may have been offended because off the wording? Some people liked to be asked out in a different manner, egs, "Would you like to come to X on Thursday A? That would be nice, but if you can't or prefer not to, then no worries." I think it sounds like he probably was offended and his insistence of staying until 2pm may have been because by then he didn't want to see you. Well, in detail, I said so when is your next day off he said Thursday, I said ok, if you don't have any plans, would you like to meet...and the rest of the dialogue went exactly as I said...oh, and he meant 2am..not 2pm..lol I can see no reason why he would be offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Um 2am?! What?? Lol... Yea this guys has lost it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WithLove Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Yikes. So glad you threw this fish back, MM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 UGH! I mean, I've been out with a guy till 2:00 a.m. before (even when I had to get up somewhat early the next day), but it wasn't planned in advance, and I just lost track of time because I was having fun and didn't realize how late it had gotten. If a guy said to me "I expect that we'll be out till 2 a.m." even after I told him I needed to be up early, I'd laugh in his face! (Just as MM did in her online chat with Alan) This Alan guy is a real piece of work! I can't tell if he's incredibly insecure, controlling/manipulative, or some combination thereof. I'd wonder WHY he was so fixated on a certain number of hours, a certain time. Why can't he just go with the flow and see what happens? That makes him seem really uptight and rigid, too. Glad you kicked this one to the curb, MM. Onward! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 He's a weirdo. Maybe it's time to move to Canada MM. We have tons of great guys...that aren't weirdos. It's beginning to seem like all the single men over there are...well, something "special". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejigsup Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I lived with a Canadian man before. Just as "special" as the guys everywhere. I found Canadian men to be a little bit rude. Maybe things have changed in 30 years up there. I sure hope so. Plus, do most Canadian men drink like a fish? When I was there I saw so many men who drank waaay to much. They are a good looking bunch, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Case_1983 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Hmm. How about giving him a call and straight out saying "I like you but your insistence about the length of our dates is a bit off putting. Despite that I want to see if something more is there...". If he reacts negatively he obviously is too insecure to face problems head on. You never know, it could just be the fact that he is super into you that is causing him to act all crazy and he will settle down once he gets to know you.. It could be also a preview how he communicates but you never know unless you have a direct, honest conversation with him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Hmm. How about giving him a call and straight out saying "I like you but your insistence about the length of our dates is a bit off putting. Despite that I want to see if something more is there...". If he reacts negatively he obviously is too insecure to face problems head on. You never know, it could just be the fact that he is super into you that is causing him to act all crazy and he will settle down once he gets to know you.. It could be also a preview how he communicates but you never know unless you have a direct, honest conversation with him? I don't think MM likes him at all lol.. And if a conversation like this is required after only two dates, something is wrong (incompatibility). Clearly that's how the guy handles situations like this, and MM doesn't agree with it (as do most of us), so no point confronting him about his approach to things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmelieM Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Wow you are a stronger woman than I, MissMarple. Even just reading that conversation I wanted to reach through your phone and slap that idiot! What a whiny, manipulative little loser. Good on you for shutting him down the classy way I probably wouldn't have had such restraint! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Hmm. How about giving him a call and straight out saying "I like you but your insistence about the length of our dates is a bit off putting. Despite that I want to see if something more is there...". If he reacts negatively he obviously is too insecure to face problems head on. You never know, it could just be the fact that he is super into you that is causing him to act all crazy and he will settle down once he gets to know you.. It could be also a preview how he communicates but you never know unless you have a direct, honest conversation with him? I don't even want to hear his voice again...much less talk to him. I think direct, honest conversations are great...for people you're already in a relationship with..or want a relationship with. Not with a guy I've only met twice for a total of 3 and a half hours. I just thought he was a cute and nice guy...now that 'nice' has been replaced with 'crazy', there's nothing left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I don't even want to hear his voice again...much less talk to him. I think direct, honest conversations are great...for people you're already in a relationship with..or want a relationship with. Not with a guy I've only met twice for a total of 3 and a half hours. I just thought he was a cute and nice guy...now that 'nice' has been replaced with 'crazy', there's nothing left. I agree that you were direct with him about how you felt about the timing issue and since you are not in a relationship with him it would come accross badly if you shared that opinion with him -and since you do not see potential then what is the point -that wastes his time anyway. Adults know that first (and here second and third and fourth) impressions mean a lot in dating and friendships. He told you who he was the first meeting and you gave him a second chance to behave in a less controlling way. I know I am preaching to the choir but I don't think the value of honesty applies here in this way in the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I lived with a Canadian man before. Just as "special" as the guys everywhere. I found Canadian men to be a little bit rude. Maybe things have changed in 30 years up there. I sure hope so. Plus, do most Canadian men drink like a fish? When I was there I saw so many men who drank waaay to much. They are a good looking bunch, though. I said what I said in jest. The grain of truth that is found in every joke? I think the guys in MM area aren't in her league. It's been more than a year, and really- there haven't been any good prospects. If this was a 20 something's journal, I would tell him/her to move to a different city with different prospects. Why keep doing what isn't working? At this point though, MM is pretty settled in her life...which is why it would be difficult to move. It's not easy starting over at any age, but when you're well established, it's way more difficult. Therefore, I was joking. But there's a little truth in what I said. Now go do something that makes you laugh and try not to be so serious. Life is like, fun and stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 There's got to be someone decent - she's getting a ton of dates, men with good jobs, etc.... I think some of them are just idiots. But there have to be some guys who are right for MM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 I think there are lots of guys for MM. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 I would also think there are lots of guys for me...too bad I can't meet any of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 19, 2015 Author Share Posted August 19, 2015 Just took one more guy off my list. I had talked to him 2-3 times, he seemed to be ok and I was going to ask for his phone number...and today he suddenly tells me he's been looking for work abroad because he plans to leave the country in 2-3 months. I just said good luck and deleted him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larkin Posted August 20, 2015 Share Posted August 20, 2015 I would also think there are lots of guys for me...too bad I can't meet any of them I applaud your hanging-in-there-edness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 20, 2015 Author Share Posted August 20, 2015 I applaud your hanging-in-there-edness. Thanks. I can't tell you how many times I've thought of giving up but I'm an optimistic person...plus, if I'm to end up alone, I want to be able to say at least I tried! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 I just came back from my weekend trip. I had a very good time and I met a handsome guy, too...of course, something had to be wrong...lol. He was only 30...so, although he asked for my phone number, I didn't give it to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 Tomorrow I'm going to call a new guy. All i know about him is he's 50, good looking and single. His profile is written in a funny way which I'm ok with as long as he answers my questions on the phone. He's on holiday until next week and he suggested to arrange a meeting, I said I'd like to talk on the phone first, either while he's on holiday or when he's back and he gave me his phone number and said I can call tomorrow any time I want. If the phone goes well, I'll give him a name. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 24, 2015 Author Share Posted August 24, 2015 I just talked to the new guy on the phone. Paul is 50, a long distance driver, 6'1, brown hair/eyes, seems to be good looking, has never been married and has no kids. I couldn't tell much from our short phone convo except he sounded normal enough, answered all my questions and is eager to see me when he's back from holidays..this weekend. We live close enough, 15-20 mins away, so, it will be easy to schedule a meeting. He also asked if it's ok to message me during the week, I said sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted August 26, 2015 Author Share Posted August 26, 2015 Paul sent me a goodmorning message on the site...pleasant but I'd rather he had used the phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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