faraday Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Ugh whatever Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I'm excited for your date with Jon. He sounds really promising! So am I..and a bit scared, too, to be honest. I don't usually talk this much with someone before we meet for the first time..and I will be disappointed if something is very wrong with him in person. The last time that happened (meeting after we'd talked for a while) was with Pedro..and, I imagine, most of you remember how that went. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 I messaged Tom on f/b saying that it was nice meeting him, etc, but I don't want to date someone who's still married..and I added that if he had put 'separated' on his profile, we wouldn't have talked at all...and then I unfriended him. He replied immediately. 'Ok, in 2 months, when I have my divorce, I'll call you...if I want to be honest, you are a person that really stood out for me..I wanted to hug you and kiss you...but?' I didn't reply. Oh so now it went from "probably in the next 6 months" to in 2 months? Bleh. Just bleh! All this lying / inconsistent stories and telling you flattering words is striking a nerve with me (and I will probably write it in my journal later lol). Some men sucks a**! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 2, 2015 Share Posted July 2, 2015 So am I..and a bit scared, too, to be honest. I don't usually talk this much with someone before we meet for the first time..and I will be disappointed if something is very wrong with him in person. The last time that happened (meeting after we'd talked for a while) was with Pedro..and, I imagine, most of you remember how that went. Good luck with it MM! But try not to get your hopes up, sounds horrible and hard to do, but at least you won't be that disappointed if it doesn't work out. Other than that, hope you have an awesome time regardless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 I was out for the most part of the day today and when I got on the site in the evening I found a message from Jon good afternoon...we didn't get to talk today...I wanted to call you but didn't know if you were busy (I had told him I was going to have a long day, etc) I replied that he can call any time he wants...as long as it's not at 2 in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 2, 2015 Author Share Posted July 2, 2015 He did call just a few minutes after my message. We talked about our Saturday date in more detail and he also told me a bit about his house, what it's like, etc. He lives on the first floor of the house and his parents and sister are on the second floor. What I found very sweet was when I asked what colour is his part of the house (it's something like a studio) he said pink and I was surprised and he goes 'well, my daughter picked it because it's her favourite colour' In other news, tomorrow evening I'll be going out with a friend..it's an outing from the site through which I had met Mike and it's at a nice bar near my house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Tom messaged me on f/b..one message was from last night and the other one just now. 1st one: I hope you reconsider.. 2nd one: I see you haven't changed your mind...the only thing I didn't expect from you was to care so much about a piece of paper Again, I didn't reply...if he keeps this up, I'm going to block him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helpexpressme Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 So still no news on Neal? Your juggling more men than I can count! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 So still no news on Neal? Your juggling more men than I can count! No, nothing from Neal. LOL, the thing is that most of them are more like one-date wonders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Tom messaged me on f/b..one message was from last night and the other one just now. 1st one: I hope you reconsider.. 2nd one: I see you haven't changed your mind...the only thing I didn't expect from you was to care so much about a piece of paper Again, I didn't reply...if he keeps this up, I'm going to block him. I see Tom is also into manipulation and trying to make you feel bad. So glad he showed his red flag so early on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Yes definitely block Tom rather than "really, if it's just a piece of paper you would have been single a long time ago" or something like that. Not worth it in the least. especially since he lied to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 The piece of paper is now secondary to his original misrepresentation and then inconsistencies. Now add in his persistence after the fact. Yah I'd say block him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luminousone Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Time to block Tom. It is not about a piece of paper. It is about honesty and integrity. Something he clearly doesn't understand. No wonder he is getting divorced. RUN, single women!!! RUN! Keep away from this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 I just had a phonecall by some guy who, at first, I couldn't even remember. Slowly, I remembered him (well, he reminded me)....he's a dentist, lives very close to me, divorced with 2 older kids and 58. He told me his f/b name and when I saw his pic I remembered that we had talked a couple of times but I had stopped talking to him because his profile age was 52...and his real age 58. Anyway, we talked for a few minutes on the phone and when he asked if we can go for a cup of coffee or something I said that I wouldn't mind (he lives like 5 mins away) meeting a new person but if we did meet, it would only be for friendship. He said he respects my honesty, that he had understood that his lie about age had annoyed me when we had talked and that, maybe, we could be friends and even introduce each other to other friends of ours and who knows what might happen? I said that sounds good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 As I'm getting ready for my night out, I visited the site and talked to both George (the one who doesn't know what he wants..lol) and Jon. George and I are creating a nice friendship (and nothing else)..he wished me luck for tonight although he doesn't believe in such sites...he's very cynical that guy. Jon, on the other hand, told me he's happy he got to talk to me, even for 5 minutes (I told him I have to get ready) and he asked if he can drive me home tomorrow after the date. I said I don't know, let's meet first and we'll see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I would be cautious around Jon while trying to have the best time ever - strike a balance. I don't know that I like that he asked if he could drive you home unless there was purely a safety reason -i.e. he wanted to make sure you got home safely. That plus the daily contact before meeting seems a bit much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I would be cautious around Jon while trying to have the best time ever - strike a balance. I don't know that I like that he asked if he could drive you home unless there was purely a safety reason -i.e. he wanted to make sure you got home safely. That plus the daily contact before meeting seems a bit much. I totally get being excited about someone...but I've never had great luck with guys that came on super strong or enthusiastic like this. When people are overly enthusiastic, it's always been because they're not actually excited about me- but in the possibility of having a willing participant. Usually because they were damaged- had low self esteem or was looking to fill the void in their life with a partner. Those always burned bright and fast...or stalled out after meeting (and realizing I didn't fit into the mould they had for their future partner). So just go in with eyes open...please MM. Maybe he is genuinely looking for a connection- but he might not be able to have one. Or maybe he's awesome and healthy and the one. I hope that's the case I want good things for you...we all do Eta I quoted batya because I echo the "cautious" sentiment...even if it's for different reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Yup, me too. I have the same reasons as Faraday,which she expressed more eloquently! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 I went to the site's event tonight and I got bored to death. The bar was nice and that was the only good thing. We were only about 10 people and I didn't like any of the guys. Oh well.. Regarding Jon, he has indeed contacted me daily but our conversations have been normal chat between 2 people who want to get to know each other. He asked about driving me home tomorrow (which I may take him up on) because he lives about 50 mins away and, although he wanted to drive all the way here (and back), I said I would go somewhere close to him (there's a great cafe over there that I haven't visited yet and I've wanted to for a while) and he knows I don't drive..I'll take a taxi to get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I think it's best to get to know each other when you meet and after you meet (and even then most people don't chat daily with people they just met, much less strangers from an on line site - on a practical level it can raise unrealistic expectations). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Jon, on the other hand, told me he's happy he got to talk to me, even for 5 minutes I think this is what seems unusual to me and perhaps why the others said to be cautious. He's said similar things several times now. This is the kind of thing I expect a boyfriend or someone I've gone on some dates and really like me would say. It seems like he's getting quite invested in you before even meeting and...I don't know, like he's lonely or something? It's nice that he enjoys talking to you but he seems too keen (for someone who hasn't met you yet). But, that doesn't mean that's the case, and I'm sure you'll be able to tell when you meet him in person I hope you have fun anyway! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 I think this is what seems unusual to me and perhaps why the others said to be cautious. He's said similar things several times now. This is the kind of thing I expect a boyfriend or someone I've gone on some dates and really like me would say. It seems like he's getting quite invested in you before even meeting and...I don't know, like he's lonely or something? It's nice that he enjoys talking to you but he seems too keen (for someone who hasn't met you yet). But, that doesn't mean that's the case, and I'm sure you'll be able to tell when you meet him in person I hope you have fun anyway! He does seem keen but I'm keen, too..well, at least, to talk to him and meet him and maybe that's why I haven't felt he's too much. I'm not the type to express myself in words as much as he is but the truth is I also think he's attractive and I was also happy we got to talk that day...I wouldn't say it to him because it's not in my character (and I mean not even when I'm in a relationship).....but I was. He must be lonely, now that you mention it. He has travelled a lot because of the army and he had been away for years. He's only been back home for the last 2 or 3 years...and because something similar had happened to me when I was younger, (right after I got married), I remember I had found myself without many friends and it had taken me years to 'recover' and have a circle again. He also misses his daughter very much (naturally). Anyway, when I meet him tonight, I'll know for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I hope it goes well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Have fun, Miss M! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 He called me in the morning. He was going shopping and wanted to hear my voice. We talked for a few minutes, mainly about tonight - he's buying a new shirt to wear although he said he has 73 (!), he's a shirt collector, I think..lol! Then I said something about lighting up a cig to smoke with my coffee and he goes 'I had forgotten you're a smoker but we'll talk about it tonight' (he has never smoked in his life). If he plans on giving me a lecture about smoking, our date is going to be very short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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