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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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Just had one more chat with Bill. It's his day off, so, I asked him what he's doing tonight, he said he's probably going out for a drink. We chatted for a few minutes but he's too shallow for my taste. In any case, it was a pleasant 10 minutes.

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""Finally, I realised last night that I know everything about his life but he knows nothing about mine...I mean, I didn't feel that this guy was interested in me, just that he liked me as a woman and desperately wanted a relationship. He was making plans about visits to his country house and what we would do there, the summer holidays (!), etc, etc..I felt like he was in his own world and I wasn't even present...like what I wanted didn't really matter. It's hard to explain.""

 

No . .I know the feeling. It feels as if a guy can just unscrew my head and place it on another body

. .because they're so hungry, any breathing body will do. It makes you feel invisible.

 

Add in he's commenting on your hair and make up?!. . Aack. . Run!

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I talked to a new guy tonight and we've made a date for Wednesday.

Martin is 53, 5'9, black hair/eyes, not bad looking, a manager at a company, divorced with a 25yo son. He lives about 45 mins away, at a suburb and he even has a garden (that's rare in this city). We talked on the phone, too, and it all went well. We have some things in common..he loves animals (he has a cat and 2 dogs), the sea, and chocolate..lol. He's only met 2 women from the site and said they had both lied about their weight (I don't know how many times I've been told something like that by men from that site!).

Anyway, we both agreed that we don't want to waste time on phone, emails etc and arranged to meet. Hopefully, this one will be normal, at least

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Martin was supposed to have called last night but he didn't, so, I wonder if we're on for today since we had only discussed the place we were going to meet and not the time.

Sometimes I hate online dating.

 

I think it's typical of many kinds of dating and plans especially these days - more ability to text/call somehow also means less reliability/more flakiness. If you have no time and place it's fine to assume it's tentative or even off since he didn't call when he said he would. If he said he would call last night to confirm and didn't you are entitled to tell him you're busy or not to meet him unless there was an emergency reason.

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In your place, I wouldn't assume anything. I'd text him a quick "Hey are we still on for tonight?" to make sure, but also make other (tentative) plans for myself in case he never replies.

 

Too late for that, ND. It's already late in the evening here.

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I don't think he ditched her. He simply didn't follow up on making an actual time to meet. That's rude and flaky and why I suggested that MM should make sure there is an actual time and place and possibly a plan to re-confirm if the weather is supposed to be bad, etc but otherwise just to meet then and reduce the stress of waiting for another call or wondering whether to make other plans. I have a friend like that -he never leaves anything tentative, even in advance - and if you need to leave it tentative he just tells you to call when you can actually make a plan with him -in a nice way. It works well.

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I don't think he ditched her. He simply didn't follow up on making an actual time to meet. That's rude and flaky and why I suggested that MM should make sure there is an actual time and place and possibly a plan to re-confirm if the weather is supposed to be bad, etc but otherwise just to meet then and reduce the stress of waiting for another call or wondering whether to make other plans.

 

I totally agree.

 

 

I have a friend like that -he never leaves anything tentative, even in advance - and if you need to leave it tentative he just tells you to call when you can actually make a plan with him -in a nice way. It works well.

 

Ha sounds like me!

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I talked to Bill for a few minutes...he messaged me on the site. I don't think he's interested in meeting or anything like that. He has another day off today and he told me he's meeting his best friend to arrange some trip or something. I was bored after the first 10 minutes and I told him I have to go.

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I talked to Bill for a few minutes...he messaged me on the site. I don't think he's interested in meeting or anything like that. He has another day off today and he told me he's meeting his best friend to arrange some trip or something. I was bored after the first 10 minutes and I told him I have to go.

 

Sounds like he just wants a chat buddy? I've had that happen to me a couple of times. I had a guy text me one morning, sending me pictures of him, his dog and his daughter. Then he just disappeared, we never met. I guess he just needed someone to chat with that morning. That makes me wonder if they are just lonely, married or in a relationship.

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Last night was soooooooooo boring.

First of all, the bar was like 40 mins away and it was raining all evening and the traffic was something awful. Then, when we got there (my friend and I), we found out that the place was huge (beautifully decorated but huge) and people for the event were put in some corner with small sofas...but those sofas were back to back with each other..so, you could only talk to the person next to you and you practically couldn't see the other people...so, I mostly talked to my friend and a couple of guys who were put next to us..one of which was the girl's who organises the events b/f and the other one I'd already met before and he was very boring.

Then, my friend wouldn't stop whining...to me and to anyone else who was present..that she knew her 'type' wouldn't be there, that she likes men who 'don't use such sites' blah blah. After an hour of whining, the girl from the site told her 'you know what, you should relax and try to enjoy the evening, look at missmarple'...and that made her mad..however, she said she may come to the next event, too (next Friday)...I hope she doesn't because she was the main reason why I didn't have a good time.

At least Mike wasn't there...lol

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Well, whining isn't going to win over the guys. Better to smile for 2 hours, then go home and whine if it sucked. Besides, she's not looking for 99 men her type - just one.

 

Yes, I know. She won't listen, though. Hopefully, she won't come along next Friday...lol

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Last night was the event at the bar-restaurant and I had a lovely time. The place was fantastic...everything made from wood and it had live music, too, a pianist, a violinist and 3 singers...I heard songs I hadn't heard in a while, from classic pieces to blues, jazz and everything in between The friend that I took with me this time is perfect for this sort of gatherings as she's a music teacher and a lively person and the seats arrangement was much better than last time. We had 2 big tables..at our table there were 4 guys...2 of them I'd met before (one of them is the site's girl's bf) and 2 new ones, one of which was good looking and talkative..and he hit it off with my friend...lol. They exchanged emails although she says it was just about music (she writes songs and will send him some of her songs) and that she doesn't see him 'that way' and if they do get in touch, she'll arrange for me to meet him again, too.

In any case, I had lots of fun

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A new guy emailed me on the site, let's call him Toby. He is 52, 5'9, brown hair, green eyes, looks attractive in his pics, he's a manager, a Leo and divorced with kids. His profile says he is interested in a LTR but we haven't really talked...we just exchanged a few emails and he asked for my phone number. I sent it to him and said he can call either tonight or tomorrow morning...we'll see if he does.

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