Batya33 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 This way he can tell himself it's "women" not him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 We're all impatient because we've spent far too much time on the wrong people and now we give the remaining people even less slack. You can't fool us into making the same mistake twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 duplicate post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 We're all impatient because we've spent far too much time on the wrong people and now we give the remaining people even less slack. You can't fool us into making the same mistake twice. A person who feels like that and chooses to react in kind should not be dating much less looking for a serious relationship. We all feel like that sometimes of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 If what you believe was actually followed, the online dating field would be drastically reduced. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonewing Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Eee...double post! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Im not sure its that something is wrong with him... I think she should of replied. I myself cannot stand when someone doesn't respond. Even if it was to say, Good morning - it seems you don't have much time to date. I wish you luck in your search. Or something like that if she had decided not to talk to him again. JMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 There IS something wrong with Lenny, indicated by how quickly he retreated into blaming MM: why have you disappeared? (Why bother asking? It's early... just keep going and if she contacts you some othere time, or not, deal with it then) seems like you don't really want a serious relationship (and now he is writing a drama about MM in his mind without her input, and holding her responsible for it) ..you're all talk (with this, Lenny judges MM) Having judge, testimony, and jury, Lenny can move on. It doesn't seem to ever occur to him that MM may want a RL, just not with him. Good riddance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 If Lenny was all there and actually looking to date, he would have agreed to meet MM when she offered instead of declining and back peddling and playing games with being being oh so busy. I think I had posted earlier that I would have stopped cold with Lenny at the point where he refused to meet. That was the first huge clue that not all is right with him. This reaction from him just goes to show how much is not right and that's probably just the tip of the iceberg. No sane person is going to react like that. So what she didn't respond to a text. Possible she didn't even get it? You just don't jump on someone like that. Either he is crazy or he is trying out one of those "negging" things from your "trusty" online dating expert hoping that MM has such absurdly low self esteem that she will jump in with all fours apologizing and trying to prove to him just how much she wants him. Yuck. This guy doesn't deserve any response whatsoever and I'm truly surprised at how many posters are jumping on MM that she should have responded. He wasn't worth involvement from the get go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Im not sure its that something is wrong with him... I think she should of replied. I myself cannot stand when someone doesn't respond. Even if it was to say, Good morning - it seems you don't have much time to date. I wish you luck in your search. Or something like that if she had decided not to talk to him again. JMO No need to reply to a stranger who you've tried to meet on a number of occasions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 No need to reply to a stranger who you've tried to meet on a number of occasions. I disagree with this, but its up to MM in the end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Lenny texted me this: why have you disappeared? seems like you don't really want a serious relationship..you're all talk and I was left speechless. Yeah that text was ridiculous. Whenever I get an accusatory, insecure, impatient and insecure message like that, I generally disengage as well. No need to reply to a stranger who you've tried to meet on a number of occasions. I completely agree. LENNY's rude behavior would no doubt escalate if Miss M responded, as others have pointed out. Later for Lenny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 You wrote you cannot stand when someone doesn't respond. What if you had been inconsiderate/rude to that person first -would you still expect a response to anything other than a sincere apology? And if he doesn't think he behaved that way then that's on him to figure out basic manners others learned in kindergarten. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Spiral Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 We will not pursue bottomless pits. And we do not assume that if we keep giving that eventually you'll give back. And we don't equate that all we gave before the sex, is worth you giving the sex itself... Amen to that. Good for Lenny--if a person doesn't get the reaction/interest they hoped for, they should move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Lenny's message = eye roll. C'mon dude. He had plenty of opportunities to set up a date if he had wanted to. It almost seems like trolling what he did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 Good for Lenny--if a person doesn't get the reaction/interest they hoped for, they should move on. Lenny's an idiot. His previous text to Miss M was a pointless "good morning and have a great week with 'positive energy and smiles'" instead of setting up a date. Total amateur move, as even the most misogynistic PUA expert would agree. Even worse is that he got a**hurt over not getting a response to such a noncommittal message. Why not just send a photo of his pacifier and baby bottle while he's at it? So yeah, Lenny should move on... perhaps to a Men's Rights meeting where they can weep into each others' beards and commiserate on how cruelly the evil female species has destroyed their fragile egos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 My third date with David was almost awful. First, I hated the restaurant...it was crowded, with bad lighting and I didn't like the food. Then, I got a migraine, probably caused by what David was saying...which was (for 2 whole hours) how he wants to be with me and why am I still on the dating site. Here we were on a 3rd date, when we should be getting to know each other and I felt like I was being accused..which I was! He said lots of things that annoyed/angered me, I can't remember half of it now...just some random phrases...'I can't forbid you to go on the site but I must let you know I don't like it'....'how do you expect to get to know someone if you still talk to others?'....'how many dates do you need to make sure you want to be with me'....and one of the worst was 'at our age, you can't seriously expect to fall in love' (that was irrelevant to the site, it was just one of the things he said that I didn't like AT ALL). Then, as we were leaving the restaurant, he tried to kiss me and I pulled back and he made some comment 'how long does someone have to wait for a kiss'...and I told him 'well, noone told you to wait for anything!'. By that point I was so done with him, I didn't even want to talk to him. I just said goodnight, turned around and left...thankfully, I found a taxi straight away. I don't know if he'll contact me again, but, if he does, I'm telling him this is never going to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 "''how many dates do you need to make sure you want to be with me'....and one of the worst was 'at our age, you can't seriously expect to fall in love' (that was irrelevant to the site, it was just one of the things he said that I didn't like AT ALL). Then, as we were leaving the restaurant, he tried to kiss me and I pulled back and he made some comment 'how long does someone have to wait for a kiss'...and I told him 'well, noone told you to wait for anything!'"" Good Grief MM!! What's wrong with that boy?! . .it things like this that makes me think being single is the better option. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 About Lenny, now, just a quick reminder of our communication: 1. I asked him to meet during our first phonecall. He said no, that he wants to get to know me through phone first. 2. He never tried to get to know me through phone as all his phonecalls were brief and while he was out (on the road, in a car, in a cafe, etc). 3. He asked me to meet once (over a week after our first phonecall) at a specific time. I said I couldn't but I could a bit earlier on the same day or on any day of the following week. He said he can't commit to a specific day and he'll let me know when he can. 4. Then I got the good morning message to which I didn't reply (and, for all he knew, I might not have even gotten it!)...and then I got that text. So, yeah, I don't feel I am to blame at all. I think he either has something to hide or has other issues. In any case, good riddance to him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 6, 2015 Share Posted March 6, 2015 YIKES... yea that is not good at all. NEXT! I had one 45 minute "date" with someone last week. He was touchy feely and just grossing me out. I left quickly and then hoped I would never hear from him again. He was saying some of the same things. We can see each other once a week so we don't get tired of each other, I can't wait to go camping with you and wiggle in a sleeping bag together YUCK!! I was so turned off. Then he got mad when I told him I didnt feel we were compatible. He kept messaging me through the OTD site till I finally told him to stop and move on. Not a fun experience at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Sometimes when I really dig a guy, I know right away, 1st or 2nd date, that i want to be his gf. I mean, granted, maybe I should get to know him better, but I'm happy to get to know him better in the context of not seeing any other men. I guess he feels that way about you, but you don't feel the same way back. Obviously not a match then. Sorry it didn't work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 Ahhh, now I see why Lenny is not a candidate! Thanks for the reminder MM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 7, 2015 Author Share Posted March 7, 2015 Sometimes when I really dig a guy, I know right away, 1st or 2nd date, that i want to be his gf. I mean, granted, maybe I should get to know him better, but I'm happy to get to know him better in the context of not seeing any other men. I guess he feels that way about you, but you don't feel the same way back. Obviously not a match then. Sorry it didn't work out. The thing is that I did like David. I liked the way he looked, his smile, his openess, all that. It was his behaviour that turned me off...and a few other things that I didn't mention last night because I was too tired (mentally). Like when he said that next time we meet, he'll bring his brushes (he'd taken some hair styling courses a long time ago) to 'fix my hair'..and he wasn't joking, he had said it before. Or when he asked why do I use brown eye-shadow and that it made me look tired. Or the way he tried to kiss me, which was too pushy..I mean I pulled away, he pulled me to him, I pulled away again..it was a very awkward moment..and all that after I'd told him that I need time and while the people inside the restaurant were looking at us. Finally, I realised last night that I know everything about his life but he knows nothing about mine...I mean, I didn't feel that this guy was interested in me, just that he liked me as a woman and desperately wanted a relationship. He was making plans about visits to his country house and what we would do there, the summer holidays (!), etc, etc..I felt like he was in his own world and I wasn't even present...like what I wanted didn't really matter. It's hard to explain. On other news, I talked to a new guy on the site. Bill is 44, 6ft tall, black hair/brown eyes, very good looking although not my usual type (he has a bad boy look that I don't normally like - leather clothes/motorcycles), works at a travel agency, he's single and has no kids. He lives very close to me (10 mins away) and our chat was fun...something I needed after that evening with David. We talked for about half an hour, we didn't exchange phones or anything but he did send me a virtual flirt today. We'll see what happens with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 7, 2015 Share Posted March 7, 2015 David wanted to fix your hair and he didn't like your eyeshadow color?? Are you sure he's straight?? jeez. Good luck with Bill!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realitynut Posted March 9, 2015 Share Posted March 9, 2015 David wanted to fix your hair and he didn't like your eyeshadow color?? Are you sure he's straight?? jeez. Good luck with Bill!! lol...that would piss me off big time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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