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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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David messaged me this morning

 

when you read this message I hope that your sweet face is happy and smiling...have a great day, missmarple

 

I replied with a good morning of my own..although I wasn't thrilled with the message. A bit too sweet for my taste

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David messaged me this morning

 

when you read this message I hope that your sweet face is happy and smiling...have a great day, missmarple

 

I replied with a good morning of my own..although I wasn't thrilled with the message. A bit too sweet for my taste

 

Don't worry. it's nice he thought of you and thought to send you that.

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Don't worry. it's nice he thought of you and thought to send you that.

 

A little on the heavy handed side. .but don't let that discourage you.

My most recent dating experience has been the same (mentioned in my journals)

2 months into it and we've finally learned each others tempos. .

. . keeping fingers crossed

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And here is my news:

 

Starting from yesterday, David called me last night and we talked for a while. He didn't want to hang up and I had to tell him I need to have dinner..lol. He asked when he could see me again, I said didn't we agree on Friday, he said that's too far away...and we ended up meeting again tonight.

The second date was nice but I can't help feeling he's a bit pushy or too eager. He complimented me a lot which is nice but a bit too much...like every few minutes he'd say you're so sweet, your eyes are so pretty, etc, etc Then, he started asking questions I couldn't answer or my answers didn't satisfy him. He asked what I think of him I said I like you but he pushed for more...he said he can see us together, I said I can't say something like that so soon. Then he asked if I still go to the site (!) and he said he hasn't been there since he met me because he 'just knew' when we met that he could see himself with me. I told him he needs to slow down and that I'm not so fast, he said ok...and then he asked me to kiss him on the cheek. I did and he was happy..lol. Oh, I forgot he had brought me a red rose, too.

He wants to go out again on Friday and I think I will because, all other things aside, I do like him...but I don't know how compatible we really are...he's too fast for me.

 

On other news, I met someone new on the site last night. Mark, 48, 6'2, brown hair, green eyes, works at a bank, divorced with a 19yo daughter, very good in writing and he said he'd like to meet me. I said I'd like that but we didn't exchange numbers or anything. I imagine next time we meet on the site, we will.

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It's too bad for DAVID that he's shooting himself in the foot with the most amateur moves possible. Never would I dream of being so pushy so soon. Or ever.

 

But maybe it's good for YOU that he's showing his true colors now. His overeagerness could be an indicator of personality traits of which you'll want to steer well clear!

 

So yeah, keep the other options open if DAVID keeps behaving like he only has 24 hours to live.

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When I came back home, he called me like 10 mins later...to ask if I had forgotten the rose at the cafe or taken it with me. I said I had it with me and he said don't forget to put it in water. I said of course I will. He's either too romantic or too crazy (with my record, nothing would surprise me..lol)

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I think David has White Knight Syndrome, I was a bit like that in my 20's.

 

I find it odd for a guy over 40 though ? Being a nice guy is always a good thing and most ladies want that but in the long run people like that can be fickle.

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So, the whole day passed and David hadn't called and I was a bit relieved..but he did call at 9pm. He started talking about his day and his job and stuff until I told him I was falling asleep. Anyway, we arranged to meet tomorrow and go to some restaurant he knows. But I don't think there's any future here..tonight his style annoyed me.

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Lenny texted me this:

 

why have you disappeared? seems like you don't really want a serious relationship..you're all talk

 

and I was left speechless. The last time we had talked, he had said HE would call me with a plan to meet because HE didn't know his schedule for the week ahead. All he did after that conversation was send a good morning message to which I didn't reply..and now this.

 

What is wrong with these people?!

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You didn't reply to his Good Morning - that is why he thinks you disappeared.

 

I have to say that talking to a lot of men about how relationships start these days, not responding to text, or initiating contact seems to cause them to fade away. I am trying to get used to this now that I am dating again. Im a bit old fashioned and think men should pursue, but I am finding that they will pursue for awhile, then stop if you don't reciprocate. Just my 2 cents

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We will not pursue bottomless pits. And we do not assume that if we keep giving that eventually you'll give back. And we don't equate that all we gave before the sex, is worth you giving the sex itself...

 

But that's what women wanted, right?

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Lenny texted me this:

 

why have you disappeared? seems like you don't really want a serious relationship..you're all talk

 

and I was left speechless. The last time we had talked, he had said HE would call me with a plan to meet because HE didn't know his schedule for the week ahead. All he did after that conversation was send a good morning message to which I didn't reply..and now this.

 

What is wrong with these people?!

 

I think with online dating, particularly before you know a person, it's hard to know what their communication style is, so it's easy to get confused right from the bat. For example - just speculating here, when he said "good morning" he was expecting you to say, "good morning" and the he was going to say, "about our date... how does thursday work?" (or whatever). Instead, you ignored it so now he got hurt over that.

 

It's different than when you know someone in person and you know what they are like - i.e., they respond to texts and not phone calls, or the other way around.

 

anyway, sigh. good luck with these guys. I don't like that "lenny" got all dramatic over you not texting for 1 day. I mean, what if something had happened, or you got slammed with work, and you just forgot about him temporarily. it's not like he's your fiancé where you'd be in daily contact.

 

anyways....

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...When you're really interested in someone, do you text right back?

 

Or do you text a couple days later?

 

Girls are the same way with this. Any sign of weakness in your interest in them, they don't see the point in pursuing it.

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...When you're really interested in someone, do you text right back?

 

Or do you text a couple days later?

 

Girls are the same way with this. Any sign of weakness in your interest in them, they don't see the point in pursuing it.

 

I totally agree with this.

 

but then I see Lenny, who doesn't want to meet, he wants to call and he's super inconsistent with his actions....and that doesn't really say "interested" either...so...I think they were just a mismatch.

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...When you're really interested in someone, do you text right back?

 

Or do you text a couple days later?

 

Girls are the same way with this. Any sign of weakness in your interest in them, they don't see the point in pursuing it.

 

I agree with this. Maybe sometimes it takes me longer if I get really slammed at work, or if I get sick and take meds and forget to text (and forget to do other things too, like the dishes and showering). Otherwise, yeah, it's good to respond promptly.

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Well, I hadn't texted back because I had decided to stop talking to him..not because I don't want a serious relationship blah blah but because I decided he was wasting my time when he couldn't even schedule one date for a whole week. His text today just reinforced my opinion that something was wrong with him.

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Well, I hadn't texted back because I had decided to stop talking to him..not because I don't want a serious relationship blah blah but because I decided he was wasting my time when he couldn't even schedule one date for a whole week. His text today just reinforced my opinion that something was wrong with him.

 

Something IS wrong with him, and his text confirms that. Why are people so impatient? I mean, he's the one who couldn't make a plan for a whole week, but you get raked over the coals for not answering a "Good Morning" text right away? Sheesh! I say this one's a pass, for sure.

 

I wouldn't do it, but I would be TEMPTED to write back something like, "Well, I AM interested in finding a relationship partner, but that's difficult to do when someone can't make any time in a whole week to meet up."

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