missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Since he was calling you from the road -and called you back immediately with a specific plan in mind - I'd offer the alternative suggestion that he didn't know his schedule for the week and that is why he wants to call you during the week. Come on, Batya, really...he couldn't even pick ONE day to meet? He doesn't have to work and he's seeing his daughter tomorrow. Who has their whole week so full? I don't know anyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Come on, Batya, really...he couldn't even pick ONE day to meet? He doesn't have to work and he's seeing his daughter tomorrow. Who has their whole week so full? I don't know anyone! lol, you know me! sometimes my whole week is filled up by sunday (dates/dinners with friends/work). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 lol, you know me! sometimes my whole week is filled up by sunday (dates/dinners with friends/work). Same here and especially if I don't have my calendar accessible -I'd hate to make a plan, get home and then realize it doesn't work. Once again you're making assumptions about someone you've never met about what his schedule is or is not just because he's retired. You have no idea what non-work related commitments he has. I am home most days while my son is in school but it doesn't mean I can make a plan without checking my calendar unless I know for sure about a particular day. Often I don't because of random appointments that come up. I have lists for my lists to make sure I don't double book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 lol, you know me! sometimes my whole week is filled up by sunday (dates/dinners with friends/work). Same here and especially if I don't have my calendar accessible -I'd hate to make a plan, get home and then realize it doesn't work. Once again you're making assumptions about someone you've never met about what his schedule is or is not just because he's retired. You have no idea what non-work related commitments he has. I am home most days while my son is in school but it doesn't mean I can make a plan without checking my calendar unless I know for sure about a particular day. Often I don't because of random appointments that come up. I have lists for my lists to make sure I don't double book. It's very telling about your attitude that he calls you when he says he will (meaning you asked him to call you and he did, right away) tried to make a plan and your whole focus is on that he cannot make an alternate plan because you could not make it past 7pm. I couldn't have made it either that late at night but I would have cut him slack if I were you given the rest of his behavior during the call. I agree he seems to be somewhat flaky. This call seemed to redeem him to an extent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Have you even met Lenny face to face yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I haven't met Lenny. Because he had said he'd rather we talked on the phone a few times first. Then, he said he had to go to his hometown and today he said he was on his way back...I heard nothing that showed he was in a car and I've no idea if anything he told me was true. Batya, he was the one who asked if he can call me, I said yes and he called. I don't see what's telling or 'redeeming' about that..it was just at a time when he could talk....while, according to him, he was driving and had it on hands free. Why he couldn't call from home, again, I don't know. How did he try to make a plan? I was the one who tried! I suggested today at 7, tomorrow and the whole week. He was the one who could only meet tonight after 9 and then had no idea about when he'd be able to meet. You keep saying I'm making assumptions but from what I know about him his mother and siblings live in a different town, his daughter lives with her mum, and he's retired. The only things he's ever told me he's about to do is 'go out with friends and watch football'....and you're telling me you don't find anything strange about him not being able to schedule a date for a whole week? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm with batya here, don't make assumptions about men you've never met. So he doesn't have time to meet this week. Maybe he's got dinners planned with family friends? Maybe he's waiting on the other woman he's dating to tell him what day she's free. Presumably if he's on another dating site, he's meeting and having dinners/coffee with other women, so he has to work those in his schedule too. Sometimes people ask me to do things, but I really can't tell them until I log into google calendar and look it up, because I have a hard time keeping track off the top of my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 annie, it's not just about time. It's all together. He doesn't talk from home, he told me the next 3 days he had to watch football, then he decides to go to his hometown for 4 days, every time we talk (every single time) he's out going somewhere, he didn't want to meet but instead to talk on the phone to 'get to know me better' (which we never did because he always had to leave!), then he can't make it at 7 but can at 9 but not tomorrow and the rest of the week he has no idea..all this together just screams 'fishy'. PS Forgot to mention he (says he) doesn't have a homeline...which I find very strange. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happpybear Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Yeah I would put Lenny of the radar. If it's this hard for him to get it together to make a plan for just the first date, how hard will it be to actually date the guy, you know? why is he even dating if he can't actually make a date because he is busy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 annie, it's not just about time. It's all together. He doesn't talk from home, he told me the next 3 days he had to watch football, then he decides to go to his hometown for 4 days, every time we talk (every single time) he's out going somewhere, he didn't want to meet but instead to talk on the phone to 'get to know me better' (which we never did because he always had to leave!), then he can't make it at 7 but can at 9 but not tomorrow and the rest of the week he has no idea..all this together just screams 'fishy'. PS Forgot to mention he (says he) doesn't have a homeline...which I find very strange. In that context, then yes, i agree that is all weird. Even I'm not on the go like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
einsteins_girl Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I agree with missmarple on this one. I'd cut Lenny loose too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I have a date tomorrow with a new guy. David is 50, 5'9, blond with blue eyes, sweet face, a shoe designer, divorced for 15 yrs, with 2 grown up kids (boy 24/girl 22), lives half an hour away and we just talked on the phone for 40 mins. He sounds very easygoing, he's a smoker, likes excursions, fishing and animals and it was very easy to arrange a date for tomorrow. We'll see what happens with this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 fingers crossed!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Lenny messaged me good morning and have a great week with 'positive energy and smiles'..even his messages seem fake to me. I'm not going to reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Yeah I would put Lenny of the radar. If it's this hard for him to get it together to make a plan for just the first date, how hard will it be to actually date the guy, you know? why is he even dating if he can't actually make a date because he is busy? I agree! I was set up with someone like this once; every time we set up a time to meet or talk over the phone, something urgent came up at his job. Granted he had a very demanding job, but if you're so busy that you can't make time for a first meeting, how will you ever date him? Ludicrous. I'm all for not making assumptions about someone you haven't met as yet, but at some point I think you have to draw the line, for your own sanity. Hope your date with David goes well Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I agree! I was set up with someone like this once; every time we set up a time to meet or talk over the phone, something urgent came up at his job. Granted he had a very demanding job, but if you're so busy that you can't make time for a first meeting, how will you ever date him? Ludicrous. I'm all for not making assumptions about someone you haven't met as yet, but at some point I think you have to draw the line, for your own sanity. Hope your date with David goes well Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk I agree. I think since he texted this morning without expressing an interest in talking later today to reschedule that it's safe to assume he is not serious about meeting. I didn't have as much of a problem with him wanting to meet last night but not being able at that time to reschedule during the week. Now he's had time to check his schedule and if he were really interested she would know by now or know that they would talk later today about a specific time/place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 David called and asked if we could move the date half an hour later. At first I said ok but then I thought about it and realised it was too late for me, so, I called him back and said it was a bit too late and maybe we could reschedule for tomorrow. He said no, he wants to meet tonight and he'll make it at the original time. I asked if he's sure, he said he is...so, the date is on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Would half an hour later really be too late for you? Do the buses/trains stop running then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Lenny messaged me good morning and have a great week with 'positive energy and smiles'..even his messages seem fake to me. I'm not going to reply. This is where I typically state my `I am looking for real friendship, not an electronic one' line. Last time I said that to a man he realized I wasn't interested in wasting my time and stepped up and asked me out. Try it. .see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 Would half an hour later really be too late for you? Do the buses/trains stop running then? No, it's just our date place was already half an hour away from me..and half an hour back 1 hour...and tomorrow I'm getting up at 6...so, yeah, meeting half an hour later would matter. Anyway, David was better than I expected. A very sweet and cute guy, with a baby face (which is my preference in men), very open (he tried to tell me about his whole life and even got stressed because I'd told him I can't stay long..lol) and we ended up staying together for over 2 hours when I had intended to stay for 1 hour tops. He told me he likes me and he's not interested in friendship and he'd like to see me again and asked if I'd mind if we went out with his sister and her b/f. I said I wouldn't mind. Then he asked what time he can call me, if I sleep in the afternoon and if it's ok to call me in the evening. He was very polite, in general. I believe there was some chemistry between us, too. Overall a good date and, hopefully, we'll meet again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 So cool MM! I am happy to hear that he was better then expected... that is always a nice surprise. I also like that he was upfront about what he is looking for, no guessing there huh? He seems very considerate of you too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Sounds like it went well with David! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 I also like that he was upfront about what he is looking for, no guessing there huh? Basically, he asked me about the last guy/guys I dated and why things didn't work out and I told him about Mike, leaving out the details and stuff, just how I thought we were going out as friends etc etc...and that's when he said he wanted to make clear from the first date that he's interested in me as a woman, not as a friend..which I very much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 I really like that MM! Very clear communication. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Whew! Finally! A good one! Hope things work out with David I think it bodes well that he is straightforward and is direct. Hope the second date goes even better. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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