janut1 Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 MM, sounds like John is really interested and Im glad he said this; you're not leaving before you tell me when we can meet. I look forward to how this date goes too. Lenny, sounds to busy for a relationship. He is with his friends and never available. It makes you wonder when he will have time to date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 I would have quit with Lenny immediately after you asked him to meet and he stalled. Save your sanity and don't waste time with guys who are busy telling you how busy they are. Not worth it. The golden rule is that if he is interested in meeting you, he'll be busy arranging the date and that's the only kind of busy you want to deal with. Everything else is just noise and a waste of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 27, 2015 Author Share Posted February 27, 2015 Ok, first of all my 4th date with John (on Tuesday) didn't happen because his brother got admitted to the hospital (he is diabetic and had a glycemic shock - not sure this is the right expression, but, anyway, he's leaving hospital tomorrow). We've kept in touch all these days (he calls almost daily) and we'll be meeting this coming Monday. He's been much more expressive lately (maybe because it's the phone), like, for example, tonight he said he's missed me and he can't wait to meet again. He wanted to meet tomorrow but I already had plans with a friend and he had plans for Sunday, so, Monday it is. On other news, he got a job and he's starting Tuesday. Good news on the surface but he's not too enthusiastic about it..the money isn't great (compared to what he used to earn when he worked abroad) and he said he doesn't plan on staying there 'for ever'. I'm not sure if that means he'll go ahead with his plans for moving - I didn't ask. Lenny and I talked 2-3 days ago and he told me he was leaving for his hometown for a few days (according to him he left last night). He's been sending good morning messages every morning but nothing else..and I'm not thrilled with his messages, either. He said we'll meet when he's back (in 3-4 days) but I'm not sure I want to meet him. Mike has also started getting back in touch daily (good morning, etc) and he said we should meet next week. Who knows if we will. Finally, on March 8th, I'll be going on the second excursion of the site, to a pretty town about 3 hrs away. This time a friend will be coming along and Mike won't be there (too busy at the restaurant) and I'm looking forward to it as I had such a good time in the first one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 I've been thinking of ending things with John..since last night. Some of the things he said on the phone (or, rather, the way he said them) I didn't like at all. Here's what he said: 1. I had been out with a friend last night when he called, so, I called him when I got back home and I happened to mention that I was out with a friend who's a musician and very passionate about her job...and he asked me to introduce her to him...and it's not like he has anything to do with music himself. This was the least 'offensive' of the 3 incidents...I just didn't like it. 2. I made some observation about diabetes that, apparently, was wrong and he goes 'are you sure your hair colour is natural?' (brown) Confused, I asked why and he goes 'because I bet you were born blonde'. I literally stopped talking for a minute because I couldn't believe he thought that was a funny thing to say...however, I know that some people just blurt things out without thinking (my best friend is like that) and I would have gotten over it...if it wasn't for incident no3 (which was the worst). 3. After I asked him about his brother's health, etc, he said 'so, you've asked about my brother and nothing about me..but, ok, I understand it's normal under the circumstances'. I said, sorry, so, what did you do today? His reply? 'I was masturbating'. I was like he didn't just say that...but he went on to tell me about his day, so, obviously that was another 'joke' (I hope!). This one I have a really hard time getting over...we've only been on 3 dates and talked 3-4 times on the phone and I've never talked to him like that...I mean, I don't know why he would think I would find it funny..if it was supposed to be funny. I woke up today thinking about last night and I'm just about ready to send him an email and end things..but because I know impulsiveness has always been an issue with me, I figured I'd ask for some opinions first. Am I overreacting here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Considering Mike was born on February 29..and there's no 29 this year..lol..it's his birthday today. I left him a f/b message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 I think the last joke was inappropriate considering you've only been on a few dates. The second one, meh, it wasn't funny and was a bit tactless, I can see how it gets annoying if he does it all the time though, nothing more off putting than someone keep making "jokes" to make you feel stupid. If you can't appreciate his sense of humour (which seems to be what it is here), I think may be best to let it go. It will only bother you more and more as you get to know him more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Could he have been a bit drunk? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Could he have been a bit drunk? No. He's told me he doesn't drink and, besides, he had just come home from the hospital (he was visiting his brother). I'm afraid that this is what he's like when he gets 'comfortable' with someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Well, as it turned out, I'll be meeting John tonight (the impulsiveness I mentioned above). What happened was he called me and said he's meeting 2 (male) friends at a restaurant tonight and would I like to join them with my friend that I would be meeting tonight. I called my friend, she was thrilled (she doesn't get a chance to meet single guys often + she's heard a lot about John and wanted to meet him) and, just like that, we arranged it...and I'm also curious to see what he's like around his friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Do you really think his brother was that ill? From how he "joked" and the comments he made even that seems a bit strange. I would not like those comments at all in your situation. Ick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 I believe him about his brother because he told me many details..apparently, he's been to the hospital before because he doesn't really look after himself..he eats things he shouldn't be eating, drinks, smokes, etc...and besides last night he was fine, he knew he would leave the hospital this morning...as he did. I don't find that strange...I just didn't like what he said at all. I'll see what he's like tonight and take it from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick974 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Its a bit early for wank jokes. I dont even joke about that with girl friends of mine. A long celibate close male friend ya maybe but not with a girl I am dating and with whom I want a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 This evening didn't start well. First, John called and said the restaurant has been closed and there wasn't a plan B, so, he said they would come to meet us wherever we were supposed to be going in the first place (my friend and me). Then, I tried to find my friend to tell her about the change of plans..took me an hour and a half to get to her as she was sleeping and all phones were off. Then, I called him and he goes 'I'll let you know if we can make it'. Well, if he doesn't make it, I don't think there will be another date...this one was already a stretch for me and I mainly agreed to it for my friend and because I wanted to see how he'd behave with his friends. I don't feel I want to see him on his own again and the way he handled this problem today reinforced my impression that he's gotten too comfortable with me considering how little we know each other. He almost sounded annoyed when I called him even though he had told me to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milly007 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Those comments made by John were completely inappropriate. To be honest, MM, I'd write him off. It sounds like he has jerky tendencies, for sure. If he's making comments like that now, I cannot imagine what would come out of his mouth down the road. Sounds disrespectful, if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Well, not only he (and his friends) didn't appear but he didn't even text me to let me know. That makes things easier for me. Now I know for sure he's a jerk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthDallas40 Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Now I know for sure he's a jerk. Considering his masturbation comment, I think you forgot to add the word "off" to the end of that sentence. And I agree with everyone else that the masturbation comment was completely inappropriate, given the nature of your communication with him up to that point. Glad you're "nexting" him; he deserves it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 28, 2015 Author Share Posted February 28, 2015 Considering his masturbation comment, I think you forgot to add the word "off" to the end of that sentence. LOL, how true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 28, 2015 Share Posted February 28, 2015 Glad he made it easier for you to write him off! Rude through and through lol.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I agree with everyone else. Such strange behavior. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 So, what I did about John is first I emailed him just asking 'are you ok?' (in case something had happened last night to him or to one of his friends or his brother). He replied immediately I'm fine...we didn't come last night because the others didn't want to...how are you?...and then I sent him this I'm fine, too....I just thought about it and decided that we don't have enough things in common to keep seeing each other...good luck....and he only replied same to you. I'm relieved Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Lenny messaged me good morning and asked if he can call me and I said sure, so, he did. He said he's on the road, coming back from his home town and asked if I'm free to meet tonight. I said I could meet at around 7, he asked if we could do it later, I said I can't because it's a long day tomorrow, he said let's leave it for now, then. I suggested meeting tomorrow, he said he's busy, I said how about some other day in the week but he wouldn't commit to anything. He kept saying we'll talk....as if he could only meet tonight at a specific time. I don't think I'll reply to his phonecalls again...something is definitely up with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Lenny is way too suss, again phone call while "on the road" (aka not home), requesting to meet at a specific time and has to be tonight, late. Can't committ to any other day. I agree with not taking any more of his calls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 So, what I did about John is first I emailed him just asking 'are you ok?' (in case something had happened last night to him or to one of his friends or his brother). He replied immediately I'm fine...we didn't come last night because the others didn't want to...how are you?...and then I sent him this I'm fine, too....I just thought about it and decided that we don't have enough things in common to keep seeing each other...good luck....and he only replied same to you. I'm relieved Lol clearly he wasn't that broken hearted. Yep moving on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 So, what I did about John is first I emailed him just asking 'are you ok?' (in case something had happened last night to him or to one of his friends or his brother). He replied immediately I'm fine...we didn't come last night because the others didn't want to...how are you?...and then I sent him this I'm fine, too....I just thought about it and decided that we don't have enough things in common to keep seeing each other...good luck....and he only replied same to you. I'm relieved Well, maybe he was trying to save face, but whatever. He acted completely inappropriately towards you and i think you made the right decision. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Since he was calling you from the road -and called you back immediately with a specific plan in mind - I'd offer the alternative suggestion that he didn't know his schedule for the week and that is why he wants to call you during the week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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