Ellie2006 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Well, all this ink for nothing...lol. Mike cancelled our date with some lame excuse..his daughter has 'something' to do today and he has to drive her. Nothing about rescheduling, either, of course. Ugh, this is what I mean: selfish! He makes and breaks "dates" on his terms and I also thought it was really inconsiderate that he expected/asked you to come to his restaurant, which I think you said was far from your home. I bet he's going to give you a call on a random time on a short notice again. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 he expected/asked you to come to his restaurant, which I think you said was far from your home. Well, all our dates (until our last one, that is, 11 days ago) were close to me and he drove an hour to get here. I don't think inviting me there had to do with his convenience but with the fact that the restaurant is over an hour away and I don't drive..meaning that if I went there Saturday night and if I didn't want to pay a fortune to a taxi to drive me back (since, of course, he couldn't leave his restaurant to drive me), I'd have to sleep over at his place....and I think that's what was on his mind. I can't be certain that sex is what he was/is (?) after but I remember that exactly before he stopped asking me out was when he had asked me, again, to go to his restaurant and sleep in his house..that was a Saturday again and I couldn't go...we went out that Sunday...and we haven't gone out again since then..so, yeah, he could be after sex, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 On other news, I got a couple of messages on the site by a very good-looking guy, 49, 6'2, black hair, green eyes, who, according to his profile likes travelling, fun, good company and good food, is divorced and is looking for a 'real, serious, pretty girl for a serious relationship'..and he's a Cancer. That's all I know about him. He asked me out on the second message, I replied with 'I don't know anything about you, let's talk on the phone first' and he asked for my phone number. I sent it to him and, hopefully, he'll call today. He'll remain nameless for now..if he calls, I'll update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Interesting observations about Mike, it could very well be that he was after sex, OR he's one of those that subscribe to the theory that if you don't have sex early in dating, she's not interested, and took the lack of progression on that front as cue for him to exit. Good luck with nameless guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I called John and we agreed on a very warm and cosy bar half-way between us. He couldn't resist showing off...he told me he was at some well-known politician's office...as he is 'a friend of the family'. Who knows if it's true or not..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 My 3rd date with John was definitely better than the first two. He talked less or I talked more. I interrupted him a couple of times but he seemed ok with it. He paid me some compliments, too..he said I looked very pretty, he liked my make-up and my necklace and he was very attentive. He told me about a couple of his relationships and asked me why I got divorced...and we also talked about many other things..food, music, movies, etc..very pleasant, in general. When we were leaving he asked 'so, what are you doing tomorrow and you can't go out with me?' I said I'm going out with friends and he said 'oh'. After I came home, he texted me this I have a great time with you. If you can, call me to talk on the phone...unless you have other plans..lol I did call him briefly and told him I'm not in the habit of talking much on the phone and I rather talk in person. I also told him that next time I'm paying (he's paid all 3 times so far) and he said ok and made some joke that he'll make sure we'll go somewhere expsnsive he added that he thinks our dates have been very short and he wishes we could stay together for longer (it was 2 full hours tonight and, for me, that's fine for a 3rd date..obviously, not for him). Anyway, I feel more comfortable around him now. I'm still not sure there's chemistry between us and I can't forget he may move in a few months but, at least, he stopped talking so much and we have lots of things to talk about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Glad to hear this!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 Sounds like it's going well with John Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 I bet John wasn't serious about moving. Maybe it's something he says ... Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 I bet John wasn't serious about moving. Maybe it's something he says .. I think he was serious. The problem is that he's been looking for a job since he came back from abroad and can't find anything satisfying...he can support himself for a while because he made a lot of money when he was working abroad but that can't last for ever. He has close relatives in the country he's thinking of going and he's been there before and liked it..so, unless he finds a good job soon, I think he will move, for sure. PS The only close relative he has here is his brother (their parents have died) and they're not even too close..so, nothing really to keep him here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 ...except you...... No pressure though...none at all....lol.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 The guy I mentioned before (the good-looking one I had sent my number to) called me. I'll call him Ethan. He is 49, an engineer, divorced for 10 years with a 22 yo son...and, again, very good looking..in his pics, at least. He was born in Australia but has been living here for 20 years (he does have a slight accent that I found very cute) and he lives 20 mins away. He was very nice on the phone..open, talkative, he asked some things about me and he loves animals..when he said 'if someone doesn't like animals, he doesn't like humans either', he won me over He said he'll call me on Monday or Tuesday to arrange a date and I'm looking forward to it. John also called and we talked for a while. Among other things, he said he's discovered a cute place for our next date that has great chocolate desserts (I've told him I love chocolate) and he'll take me there next time. I told him it's a good idea, just let me know a couple days before, so, I won't eat too much to leave room for more chocolate...lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 There was some new guy I'd been talking to...51, divorced, with a 15yo daughter, lives close to me, looked good on pics, etc. Anyway, he had sent me his phone number in the first message. I had said let's email first as I don't know anything about you. He sent me a couple of emails but without many details (like where he lived, what he did for a living, etc) and then, abruptly, wrote he had to go out and 'call me'. I replied that I'd like to know some more things about him. He emailed a couple of hrs later telling me where he lived and that he had been in the army and this time I called him. So, we had been talking for 5 minutes (tops) when it seemed like his phone died. I texted him 'something is wrong with your phone, call me'. I get a text message an hour later 'I was going out for lunch and lost signal (unless he was going to have lunch on the top of a mountain, I doubt it) when can I call you?' I replied that I'll have my cell on until 3pm (it was 1pm when he sent that text). I get another text at 2pm 'sorry, can't call, I'll call you after 5'.........to which I replied 'don't bother, no need to'. He exhausted me and I hope I never hear from him again..if we can't even talk on the phone, imagine if we had made a date to meet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I wouldn't have wanted to email back and forth either before talking on the phone -he might be too busy to email and might (like me) figure that typing is irrelevant to seeing if you want to meet in person. As my husband says about cell phones - if they work properly be grateful -assume they're going to die/lose signal, etc. He might have a lot going on and I would give him a chance to call when he can and when you are available. He might be perfectly reliable about meeting -sounds like he was having phone issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 I didn't want to email back and forth..I just wanted to know the basics about him like place of living because the city I live in is huge and if he lived far away, we would have problems (gas costs like Mike said..lol) and and his profession because if he worked nights, for example, there was no point in talking on the phone at all. Those things could have been mentioned in the first email. As for cell phones not working, etc, I disagree with your husband. Mine works fine...and I'm positive that something is wrong with this guy...he could have a g/f or something and that's why he kept stopping our communication. And, in any case, if you know you're going out for lunch in 5 minutes, why ask me to call you in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 I didn't want to email back and forth..I just wanted to know the basics about him like place of living because the city I live in is huge and if he lived far away, we would have problems (gas costs like Mike said..lol) and and his profession because if he worked nights, for example, there was no point in talking on the phone at all. Those things could have been mentioned in the first email. As for cell phones not working, etc, I disagree with your husband. Mine works fine...and I'm positive that something is wrong with this guy...he could have a g/f or something and that's why he kept stopping our communication. And, in any case, if you know you're going out for lunch in 5 minutes, why ask me to call you in the first place? I really am surprised you assume that cell phones work fine at all times - you really think that just because yours does? Batteries die, signals fade, all sorts of things can happen with a cell -there's sometimes a delay in hearing what the person said, they break up. Very surprising you would take this hard a line especially when you don't know anything about this person's phone or coverage area. And yours has its issues, right, from what you described about how you can't stop it from ringing during a meal, etc. I agree that you should know where he lives ,etc but I would put it specifically and not ask to email back and forth -that sounds like you need more than one email and are trying to avoid moving things forward towards meeting. Before you meet someone you have no idea what his schedule is like -he has a teenager -or maybe he all of a sudden got a stomach cramp and had to go and didn't want to say that to a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 The reception in my work building is really bad. Everyone at work has that problem regardless of their carrier. Everyday I see people talking on the phone in the hallway by this one window in the hallway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 Of course I can stop my cell from ringing if I turn it off...and, yes, batteries die but signals don't just get lost in the city...my cell phone is ancient and, yet, it rarely loses signal unless I'm out in the countryside or something. Anyway, I followed my instinct about this guy and that's that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 The reception in my work building is really bad. Everyone at work has that problem regardless of their carrier. Everyday I see people talking on the phone in the hallway by this one window in the hallway. I've heard of such things happening and I have a friend who can only talk at a specific place in her house..lol. In any case, it wasn't just the signal loss. It was a/stopping emailing abruptly (as if someone walked in) b/losing signal because he was 'going out for lunch' just 5 mins after we started talking (again, as if someone walked in) and c/not being able to call before 5. All 3 things combined made me have a bad feeling about him. PS. 4 things actually. We had just started talking on email last night and, again, he had stopped writing abruptly after just 2 emails ('I'm going out, call me tomorrow') and he hadn't even answered my last question. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 MM, I agree with you. I'm weird about phones. If he just lost signal once, fine. Why I think it's weird is that it occurred with him abruptly ending the email exchange. Then talking for only 5 min before the reception issue, yet he contacted you an hour later with a "can't talk, I'll call you at 5pm". Uh. Yes, it would rub me the wrong way too. I am by no means pessimistic but when I was online dating (and I looked for older), there were a good number of married creeps on there. Phone issues were the #1 giveaway. Big time. Sounds like he had a pretty vague profile too. Life is too short for crap like that. Again, if he had just lost signal, I would tell you that you're being harsh. But the abruptness? Yeah, no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 MM, I agree with you. I'm weird about phones. If he just lost signal once, fine. Why I think it's weird is that it occurred with him abruptly ending the email exchange. Then talking for only 5 min before the reception issue, yet he contacted you an hour later with a "can't talk, I'll call you at 5pm". Uh. Yes, it would rub me the wrong way too. I am by no means pessimistic but when I was online dating (and I looked for older), there were a good number of married creeps on there. Phone issues were the #1 giveaway. Big time. Sounds like he had a pretty vague profile too. Life is too short for crap like that. Again, if he had just lost signal, I would tell you that you're being harsh. But the abruptness? Yeah, no. Since she has no idea yet about what his life is like I would give him one more chance. I get very annoyed at phone issues too but try my best to separate the in control v. can't help it phone issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Since she has no idea yet about what his life is like I would give him one more chance. I get very annoyed at phone issues too but try my best to separate the in control v. can't help it phone issues. I am all for the benefit of the doubt but I think given that his phone "lost signal" and then he was very abrupt about stopping emails and contacted her sporadically afterward with vague "I'll call you" and not much else, well, I can see why someone may give benefit of the doubt but I can also see why someone would write them off, especially when it's so early and you know nothing about the person. Again, I'm just weird about phones because that was always the dead giveaway for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 22, 2015 Author Share Posted February 22, 2015 I was already giving him the benefit of the doubt by calling him after his leaving me hanging on email twice. I gave him the benefit of the doubt again when he said he 'went out to lunch and lost signal' (even though I wondered if he had to go for lunch, why did he ask me to call him at that time!) I did reply that he could call some time in the next 2 hours...but when I got that last message 'can't call before 5' (3 hrs later), well, then, I gave up. It's Sunday, he's retired and he gave me no reason for his (what I consider to be) strange behaviour...and I still didn't know anything about him since he was vague on email and the phone call had been very short. It just wasn't worth the trouble for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 He's retired and he's that weird with his phone?? Lol, he definitely has a wife or girlfriend at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted February 22, 2015 Share Posted February 22, 2015 Ethan sounds promising for you. And John is taking you to a chocolate place so I like him already. The one with the issues with the phone I can understand why you gave up now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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