missmarple Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 John called and we talked for about 15 minutes. He told me he had a great time today, that I should have gone, too, what he had for lunch and all that. This time he was somewhere in the middle talking-wise..lol. He started telling me about an experience he had had with a parachute and that he plans on taking deep sea diving lessons etc etc but he stopped long enough to hear me talking, too. Then he told me about a movie he watched lately but I had to cut him off as it was getting late and I had to go take a bath. He said he'll send me something through email (not sure what) and we said good night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 Lol I think its probably harder to carry on a monologue over email, and you kinda have to ask questions. I guess you will find out! Julian doesn't sound good- argument before you even met?! and accusing you of having character problem for picking up on his lie is a terrible reaction, I'm not optimistic about this one.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Julian doesn't sound good- argument before you even met?! and accusing you of having character problem for picking up on his lie is a terrible reaction, I'm not optimistic about this one.. I was thinking the same thing ... Re: John: the non-stop talking would bother me too ... My husband is kind of like that. I love him to bits but sometimes I just want to shush him! But back to John: his nonstop talking notwithstanding, he seems really attentive. Would you say his attentiveness balances out his talkativeness? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 who is julian? i missed that post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Post #2946 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I'm pretty surprised that you and Julian were down for meeting up after your almost-argument on the phone. I don't mean to be pessimistic but it doesn't sound like a good sign, IMO. John seems like quite the talker but he is attentive. Hmm..well, if you're not feeling the chemistry, you're not feeling it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 good lord. what did i tell you? it's hard to keep track of how old you are, how many children you have, if you're divorced or not. i dunno, it's all just paperwork. am I 31, or am i 34, or 43? i really can't remember. there's so much to keep track of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 good lord. what did i tell you? it's hard to keep track of how old you are, how many children you have, if you're divorced or not. i dunno, it's all just paperwork. am I 31, or am i 34, or 43? i really can't remember. there's so much to keep track of. Haha yea. Last time I went out on a number of dates (6 to be exact) with a guy who lied about his age on the site, which I found out by accident through our conversation on date 5, his character turned out to be consistent to his lie. He's manipulative and sneaky. Granted he only took one and half years off his age and for no good apparent reason (from 33 down to 31, which turned into 32 after we had met as his fake birthday came and gone). His explanation was that he must have put in the wrong number. But he did put in not only the wrong year but also the wrong month! That can't be an accident. Like Annie said, how can anyone just accidentally put down the wrong age or forgot their age? Do they think we are idiots who will buy that story? Did Julian end up giving an explanation for putting down the wrong age, aside from apologising for his rude accusation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 But back to John: his nonstop talking notwithstanding, he seems really attentive. Would you say his attentiveness balances out his talkativeness? I can't tell..he's confusing me. If we go out again, I'll know more. Did Julian end up giving an explanation for putting down the wrong age, aside from apologising for his rude accusation? Not really. He just said he put down the wrong age, he didn't admit that he did it on purpose. On other news, Mike called last night...3 hours after my last message to him and, of course, my cell was off and he didn't leave a message. I'm not calling back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 Serious I would respect someone more if they just admit that they lied about their age and give a reason why, and apologise for the lie. I will at least consider them if they sound sincere enough. But most won't. Most will just continue playing the deception game and pretend they don't know what happened or that it's an accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 I would not meet Julian. His behavior about his lie and lame excuse is jerky - I don't think it gets any better from that kind of first impression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 Mike called today. He said he only went to that bar because he thought I might be there (b/s..if he wanted to make sure I'd be there, he'd have called me) and a few other things about how he spent the last few days. We talked for about 10 minutes and then I had to go and that was that. PS I decided I won't meet Julian, after all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted February 16, 2015 Share Posted February 16, 2015 What about Mike? Would you meet him again one on one? I'm getting annoyed and frustrated w/ his behavior, on your behalf, of course Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 16, 2015 Author Share Posted February 16, 2015 What about Mike? Would you meet him again one on one? I'm getting annoyed and frustrated w/ his behavior, on your behalf, of course Sure, I would meet him if he asked. But what he's doing is very annoying...and I have no idea why he does it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophieGrace Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Your John story reminded me of a guy I went on a date with recently (and no, I am not trying to pull a John here, haha.) With the man I was with, it seemed like anything I would say he would jump in mid-sentence and sort of "one up" me with non-stop talking about the subject. Finally after about an hour of this, I said, "Would you mind if I gave you some feedback?" He looked a bit surprised but said, "Sure." I said, "People like to be heard. When someone feels the other person is listening and interested they feel connected. Including me. You obviously think very quickly and are clearly intelligent with many interesting things to share, but you might want to consider that when having a conversation". He became a very good listener after that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Good call on Julian. And yea I too am now feeling annoyed by Mike's behaviour.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted February 17, 2015 Share Posted February 17, 2015 Your John story reminded me of a guy I went on a date with recently (and no, I am not trying to pull a John here, haha.) With the man I was with, it seemed like anything I would say he would jump in mid-sentence and sort of "one up" me with non-stop talking about the subject. Finally after about an hour of this, I said, "Would you mind if I gave you some feedback?" He looked a bit surprised but said, "Sure." I said, "People like to be heard. When someone feels the other person is listening and interested they feel connected. Including me. You obviously think very quickly and are clearly intelligent with many interesting things to share, but you might want to consider that when having a conversation". He became a very good listener after that Wow, nicely done. MM, I fell for a talker, all about himself, which was quite interesting. It made me uncomfortable, but also i was compelled, so I stayed with it. It realyl was a sort of defense mechanism. Talking as a way of creating a little sound barrier. When he felt most intimate with me, he was really quite graceful and understated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 Got my daily online flirt by John...guess he thinks it's cute or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Mike liked a few of my posts on f/b. We haven't talked since Monday. A friend of mine says he's waiting to see if I'll reach out first. If that's it..well, I won't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Mike called me. He asked what I've been up to, if I've been going out these days and if I'm free this weekend. I said on Saturday I have plans with friends, he said too bad, he wanted to ask me to go to his restaurant and then he kept asking what's new and I kept saying nothing much and, when I was about to hung up, he said 'so, when are we going to meet?'. I said that's up to him (I don't want him to accuse me of making him 'spend too much on gas') since he lives so far away and he said he's coming over here tomorrow to visit his mum and, maybe, we could meet in the afternoon for a cup of coffee. I said I'm free tomorrow and he said he'll call me to tell me the exact time. One thing is for sure...if he thinks I'll be like I was the last time we met (10 days ago), he's wrong Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Sour grapes mm....just tell him you're not interested... Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 I'm not interested but I don't mind being friends who meet occasionally for a cup of coffee. If he had never said he liked me or acted like he did after that, I wouldn't mind that we didn't meet in 10 days. Besides, it's not like he promised me anything. My conclusion is that he's fine as a buddy but (both because of the gift thing but, also, because of these 10 days) not for anything more...and I'm fine with it. If he's not..well, we'll see tomorrow, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 He has told you that he likes you, and he's still under the guise of "maybe she will give me a chance if we keep seeing each other". I really think the kind thing to do is to drop the friendship entirely or be very upfront with him and say that you see him strictly as a friend only and it won't change. That way you know for sure that he's not being strung along. And if he wants to keep up the friendship, great, or he may disappear on his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 18, 2015 Author Share Posted February 18, 2015 Why would he even think he has a chance with me when we haven't met in almost 2 weeks? And how on earth would he feel 'strung along'??? Just because, once, almost a month ago, he said he liked me and I said I don't know what can happen in the future? Sure, if we had kept dating regularly and I felt I only saw him as a friend, I'd tell him. But, as things turned out, I feel no responsibility to tell him anything. He chose to not see me for 2 weeks...and that was after being all over me the last time we had met. I should be the one feeling 'strung along', not him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 You crack me up MM! I've had guys come back years later wanting to pick right up again where we left off. 2 weeks is nothing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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