Ellie2006 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I was on team Mike too but I'm starting to think he might be too flakey. And I don't think miss m should be criticized (?) for his behavior, saying that he's acting the way he does now - NOT giving her the present that he *said* he'd give her, ask her out for V-day, etc - bc he believes he's been friend zoned by her. I think she's given him a fair chance and frankly it's on him that he didn't quite step up to the plate. Miss m, maybe he's just too different. Maybe I'm wrong but I kind of think you're kind of like me: I like people who plan ahead and keep in consistent contact - ie someone dependable. Mike seems too ... lax in that department, asking to meet for last minute dates. While there might be nothing wrong with that, that would drive me up the wall. Lol, maybe it's the "teacher" in me, but I like people who are more dependable and consistent and those who plan ahead and do things that they say they'd do. Granted, I'm kind of stick in the mud but spontaneity is really not my thing, especially at the first stages of dating. Also I wouldn't want to go to a theatre on a first date either! The purpose of the date, in my eyes, is to get to know this other person to see if we click. How will that be achieved by sitting silently in a dark theater for 2+ hours? Sure we could talk after, but I don't know if I'd necessarily want to commit to a long extended date with someone that I really don't know (or maybe not click with) In any event, hope you have fun on your upcoming date. Maybe Mike will surprise me (lol) and you with a V-day romantic date ... Fingers crossed for you Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 Really? How does that work? It's normal for the man to pursue a women in the beginning, then it becomes more of a happy medium. If no one is pursuing how do you even date? I don't find being pursued normal..unless we mean different things by 'pursue'. I do like the guy tating the initiative as in suggesting the first couple of dates and calling if that's what you meant by pursue. But, usually, when I like someone and he has initiated a few dates, kept in contact, etc, I am happy to do the same from then on...for example, I asked Mike out for one of our dates (I mean after he had said he liked me because the first 'dates' don't count in my eyes). It's just that during this online dating phase, for various reasons, I've rarely gone so far with a guy....that's why posters here don't really know what I'm like when I'm actually dating someone (as in dating for a while)...but, so far, every time I've had a relationship, I can't remember being pursued (except once)...I used to meet a guy through friends, for example, we both liked each other and things just happened naturally...online dating is a very different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 I was on team Mike too but I'm starting to think he might be too flakey. And I don't think miss m should be criticized (?) for his behavior, saying that he's acting the way he does now - NOT giving her the present that he *said* he'd give her, ask her out for V-day, etc - bc he believes he's been friend zoned by her. I think she's given him a fair chance and frankly it's on him that he didn't quite step up to the plate. That's what I'm starting to think, too, and, probably, if I had viewed Mike from the beginning as a potential b/f, I'd have been annoyed by his last minute planning a long time ago..but because I saw him as a friend, I hadn't paid attention to it. However, today that I thought more about it, I realised that he's never asked me out even 2 days before a date..it's always been like he called in the morning or in the afternoon and said let's meet tonight. And, of course, the gift thing has nothing to do with being friend-zoned or not...which he hasn't been, anyway. My friends don't caress my cheek or hold my hand or kiss me on the lips...and I certainly don't kiss them on the lips for goodnight...so, yeah, I don't see why he would think he's been friend-zoned....I mean, the guy stopped the car and kissed me and I would have kissed him back if I hadn't choked..lol..nothing friendly about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 About the date with John. We were very compatible intelectually...he's a very good conversationalist and had many interesting stories to tell from his life abroad and his life, in general. He asked me some things about me, too, and seemed interested in my answers. Looks-wise, he's not exactly my type but not ugly at all. He's tall, well-built, with a nice face/smile and his style is very relaxed and cool. The problem with him is that he's thinking of going abroad again and somewhere very far from my country (different continent)...it's not decided, yet, but very possible from what he said. Also, I couldn't tell if there was any chemistry between us...our conversations were interesting but not flirty in the least (at least, in my opinion...because, after the Mike story, I can't be sure someone is flirting or not..lol). He insisted on paying for my coffee which surprised me as he seems very 'modern' but he said he never lets a woman pay, no matter if it's a date, a friend or a colleague..quite traditional but I didn't mind. Anyway, he said he'll call me and I'd like to see him again..if nothing else, it's good to have a stimulating conversation with someone you have things in common with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 John seems promising minus the going abroad thing. Did he say how long he is thinking of going for? What I've noticed is that a lot of people talk about moving away whether it's abroad or interstate, but once they meet someone they are serious about, they just abandon that idea. So it kinda depends. Not letting female friends and collgueages pay is indeed very old school Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 John seems promising minus the going abroad thing. Did he say how long he is thinking of going for? Not really. I mean, he said he might stay there for ever or get homesick and come back in a month..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 John texted me this morning: Good morning. Sorry I talked too much last night...I promise that next time I'll talk less and listen more.. I texted back that it's ok, he had interesting things to say and that he'll find out that I can also talk a lot. I've heard nothing from Mike. PS I just found out that John sent me a virtual flirt on the site, too. How silly is that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I'm glad John mentioned a next time - hopefully he'll follow through with a plan. Did you respond to Mike's last text? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Did you respond to Mike's last text? There wasn't a last text. He had called yesterday afternoon at a time when he knows I always have my cell off and didn't leave a message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 There wasn't a last text. He had called yesterday afternoon at a time when he knows I always have my cell off and didn't leave a message. Maybe too fine a point on that? He met you recently -perhaps he forgot your schedule momentarily (I know - imagine that! ;-). If you're interested in seeing him again I'd call and check in. Obviously it's possible that he dialed you by accident. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 He knows my schedule very well because we've talked about it before and, actually, the last time we went out (Sunday) he had called in the morning and said 'I knew not to call you later as you'd have your cell off'. If he doesn't contact me today, I'll send a good morning text tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 He knows my schedule very well because we've talked about it before and, actually, the last time we went out (Sunday) he had called in the morning and said 'I knew not to call you later as you'd have your cell off'. If he doesn't contact me today, I'll send a good morning text tomorrow. Just again, cut him slack. Like you he's dating around and he might have forgotten your schedule momentarily because maybe he just really wanted to talk to you right then. I forget my husband's schedule and we've known each other almost 20 years. I'm glad you're going to text him tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 John emailed me on the site a couple of hrs ago (I found it when I woke up) asking if I'm doing anything tonight (it's a holiday over here) and made a joke about something I've written on my profile...I replied that I'll be staying home as I'm working early tomorrow and made a joke of my own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 A new email by John (why can't people use a phone?!) saying he's staying home, too, watching his favourite detective stories online...and next time we meet, he'll give me some links. I don't think I'll reply to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 A new email by John (why can't people use a phone?!) saying he's staying home, too, watching his favourite detective stories online...and next time we meet, he'll give me some links. I don't think I'll reply to that. If you're interested I'd just reply "cool -sounds good and looking forward!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 I took your advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted February 12, 2015 Share Posted February 12, 2015 I took your advice Awesome! Hope John pans out and actually sets up another date. He is talking about it so thats good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie2006 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Yay! I'm switching to Team John Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 ] just kidding, haha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 ] just kidding, haha... That is brilliant annie, hahahaha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 ] just kidding, haha... LMAO...good one, annie! I messaged Mike good morning although my instinct said not to...anyway, in the end, I did. He hasn't replied yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Or this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 Mike called me an hour after my message. He asked what I've been up to, etc, and we talked for about 10 minutes. He mentioned nothing about meeting but he did ask if I'll be going to the site's event tomorrow night (so much for romantic Valentine's plans..lol). I said I hadn't thought about it and asked about his plans..he said he doesn't know yet because 'lately he's been spending too much on gas' (Pedro, anyone?) and he may stay at home or he may go to his restaurant or he may go to the site's event...so, I said ok, have fun, whatever you do, talk to you later, bye and stuff. I'll be going to the site's event for sure..it's the same bar it was last time I went, close to my house, great place and I'll ask a friend to come with me. As for Mike, I did feel disappointed but glad I hadn't invested anything in this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 I'm glad you know where you stand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 13, 2015 Author Share Posted February 13, 2015 John messaged me on the site and we talked for a while. He asked what I'm doing this weekend and if I'd like to meet tomorrow. I thought about it and decided I'd rather go out with someone I find interesting than go to an event hoping to meet someone new..and I said yes. Then he asked if I can give him some time to think of a place to go (somewhere warm and nice and close to me, he said), I said it's ok, it doesn't have to be close to me and he said I'm not only attractive but also very sweet...he made some compliment about my voice, too...I don't get that often as my voice is deep for a woman...probably smoking helps, too..lol..so, I enjoyed it Anyway, I told him he can think about it tonight and I'll call him in the morning to learn details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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