missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 It costs for him to send an email? Lol Yes, because he doesn't have a computer, he uses his iPhone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 "I mentioned it was a gift for my birthday and he asked which friend had bought it for me. It's not like I did anything on purpose..I don't operate like that. I would have said the same to anyone who commented on something they liked on me that had been a gift." When you first described this it sounded like you decided to "share" that it was a birthday gift to test his reaction. You could have simply said nothing about its origin or even said you got it for yourself - depends on the motive - you've had his etiquette breach in your mind. Another alternative would have been to say nothing about its origin if the motive was that he shouldn't feel badly about forgetting to get you a gift given his life situation. I'm not saying what you shared is wrong but I think there certainly was a motive. It's fine -we've all done that testing thing. I think Pedro had to pay to send an email because his wife or girlfriend uses his computer too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 You could have simply said nothing about its origin or even said you got it for yourself - depends on the motive - you've had his etiquette breach in your mind. Another alternative would have been to say nothing about its origin if the motive was that he shouldn't feel badly about forgetting to get you a gift given his life situation. I'm not saying what you shared is wrong but I think there certainly was a motive. It's fine -we've all done that testing thing. You may have done that testing thing but I haven't. There was no motive behind what I told him. Of course, you can choose not to believe me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 You may have done that testing thing but I haven't. There was no motive behind what I told him. Of course, you can choose not to believe me It's not about believing or not -it's about how you described the event - it sounded like you were setting it up to see how he reacted. I just saw that you paid for your own birthday dinner -if you also paid for your friends then he should have given you a gift or offered to take you out as his gift. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 It's not about believing or not -it's about how you described the event - it sounded like you were setting it up to see how he reacted. I just saw that you paid for your own birthday dinner -if you also paid for your friends then he should have given you a gift or offered to take you out as his gift. Well, when I described it, I didn't expect that someone would have thought what you did..or I would have described it in detail! I paid for everyone's dinner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IAmFCA Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Sometimes the kind thing to do is cuts conversation short, because if we keep it going, we open up the possibility of sharing too much information. Better: Mike: That's a nice ring... MM: Thank you. -end- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Yes- sometimes in the moment it's hard, I just thought from the way she described it she decided to share that information to see how he would react. Here there is the tradition of taking the birthday person out for dinner- everyone pays for himself and chips in for the bday person so I often do not bring a gift -my gift is treating the person for dinner. I think if the birthday person is treating everyone then the guests should bring some sort of gift or follow up with a gift. Sometimes I come empty handed to an actual bday party because I prefer to send a certain gift afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
browneyedgirl36 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Yes, because he doesn't have a computer, he uses his iPhone. Just curious, does it cost him to send every e-mail? I'm a little confused by this. In the U.S., most people have some sort of data plan and text messaging plan, and the cost depends on how what plan you have. I have unlimited data (within the U.S.) and unlimited texts (within the U.S.), so I don't get charged per e-mail or text unless I'm on international roaming in another country. When I was in Canada for a trip, my texts cost 50 cents each, so I limited them a bit to avoid all sorts of extra charges. I guess I'm just wondering if sending a reply to your e-mail would cost him extra money on top of his regular phone bill? You'll have to excuse my ignorance on this subject; apparently, phones are a lot different over there (like the thing about getting a landline being really difficult -- it takes two seconds here!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 To tell you the truth, I'm not sure how it works because I've always had a computer and I've never had an iPhone..I've just assumed from some of his comments (like, for example, that time he had emailed me once in 3 days and had said he had to be careful with his cell for the next 2 days) that they charge him for every email. It doesn't matter, anyway. Mike messaged me a couple of hrs ago (during my nap and I got the message when I woke up) asking if I'd like to go to the place he has his restaurant..that's almost 1.5 hour away and he knows I have plans for tonight, so, I'm not sure what he meant. I messaged back asking when..he hasn't replied yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 Ok, Mike and I obviously have a communication problem He just called me and said he thought I meant I would go out this morning and that I was free tonight. Apparently, there's going to be some kind of party over there and he wanted to invite me. I explained that I'm meeting my friend in an hour, he said he could drive over here (1.5 hr), take us in his car, drive us over there and we could sleep in his house and we'd all come back tomorrow. I told him that I'm not a last minute person and if we're going to do something like that, I have to know beforehand. He insisted for a while (which I didn't like) but, eventually, gave up and said he'll call me in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I don't have limitless texts on my plan so I have to pay over a certain amount. I think you should have been more flexible with Mike if you were indeed free. His intentions were fine and he didn't mean to ask you out last minute. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I know a fair bit about the wireless industry and let me say, Pedro is lying when he says that each email costs him money like a text. Many years ago, emails to non smartphones cost money in the same way that pay per texts cost. However, iPhones don't work that way. It would cost a negligible amount of data. Negligible. Again I think it's weird that he just has an iPhone and is telling you not to contact him because of phone costs. Yeah, whatever. Sounds like he has a wife. Do you have a particular reason why you don't do last minute plans? Sometimes things do come up. I'm going to Florida now as we speak, on a last minute trip with a family member. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 I don't do last minute plans because I don't like changing plans, especially when they involve other people..in this case, the friend I'm going out with....who doesn't drive (just like myself) and would have to spend the night at a stranger's house almost 2 hours away. I wouldn't even dream of asking her to do something like that..plus, I myself don't feel comfortable sleeping over at his house. If the party was somewhere closer, I wouldn't mind..but that would mean I'd be able to come back home at some point. PS Batya, how am I free when I'm meeting my friend in half an hour? lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 About Pedro, no, I don't think he's married or in a serious relationship..unless his wife/gf/social circle are completely ignorant about the Net. As I've said, he has lots of pics and details in his profile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I don't do last minute plans because I don't like changing plans, especially when they involve other people..in this case, the friend I'm going out with....who doesn't drive (just like myself) and would have to spend the night at a stranger's house almost 2 hours away. I wouldn't even dream of asking her to do something like that..plus, I myself don't feel comfortable sleeping over at his house. If the party was somewhere closer, I wouldn't mind..but that would mean I'd be able to come back home at some point. PS Batya, how am I free when I'm meeting my friend in half an hour? lol I agree about the sleepover but then I would have told him that -if you told him that you don't do last minute plans that sounds too inflexible. Seems to me you're trying to dissuade him from contacting you/asking you out again - otherwise you'd have told him what you shared here IMO. I had no idea what your schedule is, sorry. I wrote "if you were free". I don't buy one bit of Pedro's story and there are many ways to hide profiles from others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 I did tell him. I didn't just say 'I can't'. First I said I don't like changing plans and I'd like to know beforehand and when he asked what's the big deal I explaned I don't feel comfortable sleeping at his place and that I couldn't ask that from my friend, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I did tell him. I didn't just say 'I can't'. First I said I don't like changing plans and I'd like to know beforehand and when he asked what's the big deal I explaned I don't feel comfortable sleeping at his place and that I couldn't ask that from my friend, either. Good -hopefully he knows that it's not just about being flexible. I wouldn't do that plan either or ask a friend to do that plan -far too complicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Btw, I've done my fair share of online dating and married men do post their photos. The Key is their phones. And Pedro seems to fall in line with that. I am almost certain that's what's going on given my experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 Btw, I've done my fair share of online dating and married men do post their photos. The Key is their phones. And Pedro seems to fall in line with that. I am almost certain that's what's going on given my experience. Do you mean because the wife is more likely to check the phone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 He can't be at home talking away on the phone so his use is more restricted because she's around. The idea of a grown man telling someone "Oh, don't call or text me this weekend, I'm trying to save money" is ridiculous. Yes, minutes cost money, but if he were into her and single, it wouldn't be an issue, or he'd find a cheap or free way to contact her. Like using Skype for example. I also find it fishy that he claims he doesn't have a land-line even though that's very common over there because it's cheaper than mobile. He probably does have one but the wife would find out about his dating site activities if he gave that number out. Do you mean because the wife is more likely to check the phone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 7, 2015 Author Share Posted February 7, 2015 I had a good time tonight, I hadn't seen this friend in a while and we had a lot of catching up to do. Of course, the biggest part of the conversation was about Mike. She told me to take things slow, which I'm already doing...I also told her about the party tonight and she said that maybe we (or I, alone) could do it some other time (visit his restaurant) in the afternoon and come back in the evening. She believes that if I agreed to sleep over at his place, it might give him the wrong idea. Mike and I texted a bit during the evening, I told him something funny, he replied back with something funnier..lol. About Pedro, I really don't think he's married. I don't have any proof except his phone was never off, he often talked to me from his home, both in the afternoons and in the evenings and I was always the one who had to go to bed...plus his email had his last name...I didn't check up on it but I could have if I had wanted to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 7, 2015 Share Posted February 7, 2015 I think with the email thing, it may be costing him to use data (from what I know there is no such thing as charge by per email lol). he may be on a "pay as you go" kind of plan where he has to pay for every call, message and every bit of data. Mind you an email wouldn't take up much data at all unless you're sending a picture haha... Anyway! He's old news now, moving on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Mike called me. He said he didn't have much fun last night and that he'd have wanted me there, I said I had a good time and that some time I'll take my friend and visit his restaurant..if he cooks..lol We're meeting in the afternoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Today I started talking to a new guy. Frank, 48, works at a company, single, no kids, lives close to me, 6'1, black hair, blue eyes, good-looking and writes very well. We exchanged 3-4 messages on the site (quite long ones) and he asked me to meet some time this week. I sent him my phone number and said he can call me tonight or tell me when it's a good time for him to talk. He replied with his phone number and said he'll call me tonight after 9. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 8, 2015 Share Posted February 8, 2015 good luck with Frank and Mike! From my own experience, there can be wives around, even if you don't think so. I stopped dating a guy when some of his excuses started being shady. We had been dating for a few months and i even spent the night at his place (he lived alone). More specifically, i asked him what was going on (he told me he cancelled his credit cards, was changing the license plates on his car), and i wanted to know what was up. He said i asked too many questions and he never talked to me again! i ran into his best friend a few months later, and he confessed to me that he was married and had a wife who was in another country. I never did find out what was going on with the car license plates and the bank accounts. anyway..... someone could have a wife that works unusual hours (like a nurse, a doctor, EMT, police dispatcher, works in a 24 hour call center), or maybe she sleeps like a rock, so isn't worried about waking her up by talking on the phone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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