reinventmyself Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 . .great idea Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Well, this was an interesting evening. First of all, Mike was much more relaxed than usual...he touched me Ok, don't imagine anything wild...lol..but he held my hand for a few seconds, gave me a VERY light kiss on the neck and even said a few 'romantic' things...like my perfume was driving him crazy (I was shocked..lol), he loved my dress and why did I wear it, did I want him to like me even more than he does (it was a bit short). Everything was going very well, I had relaxed myself...and then....well, then I had to go to the bathroom. I left my cell phone on the table. As I was coming back, I could hear the cell ringing and Mike was looking at the screen...and you can guess who it was. Pedro..of course. So, I go to the table and Mike says your friend is looking for you. So, i answered the phone and told Pedro I can't talk, I'm out, I'll call you later...and that was one very awkward moment. I didn't say anything but Mike said 'so, are you still talking with Pedro?' and i told him that he had called a couple days ago, that I don't know why he called again (strange with his stinginess..lol) and Mike said that he probably knew that I was getting bored with the situation and was 'checking up on me'....and then we almost had a fight because he said something that annoyed me. He said 'of course, I don't know what had happened when you met that gave him the right to call you at this time'..and I got mad because he knows everything that's happened. Then, when I said we should go (because it was getting late) he said 'oh, are you in a hurry to call Pedro?' and I got mad again but he said he was teasing me. In the car he was fine and when he left me home, for the first time, he kissed me on the lips..very lightly, of course but it was nice. And then I called Pedro and I was about to tell him not to call me again but it was like he knew what I wanted to say and he barely let me speak...very unusual for him. He was very nervous, he talked about his day, his job, asked about me and then he goes 'sooooo did you have fun tonight? where did you go?' Coincidentally, I was at the same place I had gone with him (we always go there with Mike, he loves the place and so do I)...he tried to ask who I was with but I pretended I didn't understand the question (it's none of his business) and changed the subject and said I'm too tired...and then he said that lately he's very tired, too, and he can't wait for the weekend...to get some sleep! Tomorrow I'll be sending him an email..I believe I've delayed it long enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Omg I'm so excited for you! Sounds like it went well with Mike!! I wouldn't read too much into the "fights", haha...I think he was just trying to suss out where you're at with Pedro. An email would be good, I'm getting bored of him just reading about it now haha... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I think Mike is upset because he has admitted that he likes you, and you agreed to go out with him more and see what happens...and then your phone rings and he sees it's the online guy that you were into...yeah, i can see where he's coming from. I think it hurts, because it sort of sucks when you're presented possible evidence that your date is dating others. Now, you two aren't exclusive, so you can do what you want, but still, it sucks. I think it would also hurt for him because you talked to him about Pedro an said that you were pretty over it....so he must be thinking "Why is this dirtball calling her at this hour???" Plus, you answered it. Why not let it go to voicemail? I think not answering it and just playing it off would have made it less awkward. I have no idea why you haven't told Pedro to buzz off yet. Why is that? Let's hope that Mike doesn't take off after that. I know that if a guy got calls from would-be dates while on a date with me and ANSWERED them in front of me, I would so be out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 yeah, please don't respond to guys when you're out with another one. yikes. if a guy did that to me, i might write him off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Why not let it go to voicemail? I think not answering it and just playing it off would have made it less awkward. I have no idea why you haven't told Pedro to buzz off yet. Why is that? Let's hope that Mike doesn't take off after that. I know that if a guy got calls from would-be dates while on a date with me and ANSWERED them in front of me, I would so be out there. I don't have voicemail..my cell is ancient..if I didn't answer it, it would keep ringing. I could turn it off but I need my cell, my mum is sick. Plus, he saw who it was...it would be worse if I let the phone ring and ring. I haven't told him yet because I honestly thought he'd stop on his own...plus, up until this week, he didn't really call me...he only emailed and in the email, if I replied, he asked if he can call...so, it wasn't a problem...it's the first time he calls twice in a week and both times in the evening. As for Mike, well, it's a situation that 'seems' promising but it's not without its own problems. After all, he still lives in the same house with his ex wife, he does have 4 kids, one of which is just 8yo and his restaurant is over an hour away...and he spends 4-5 months (from May to September) over there...not to mention I myself I'm not 100% sure I'm into him. So, if he decides to take off..good luck to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Yea I agree answering the call from a potential date (in Mike's eyes at least) while being on a date wasn't a good move. Admittedly I would not be happy if someone did that to me. I don't think Mike will take off, but I think MM does have to clarify with him what's her intention with him and/or Pedro. E.G. look, I really enjoy your company and want to see where this goes, but I think we should keep dating others as well at this early stage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Can't you just push the hang up button to stop the call? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 MM does have to clarify with him what's her intention with him and/or Pedro. E.G. look, I really enjoy your company and want to see where this goes, but I think we should keep dating others as well at this early stage. With Pedro, the story ends tomorrow. I'll be sending that email...just trying to shape it in my head (if anyone has any advice as to what to write....share). With Mike, I don't feel I have anything to clarify. We both know where we stand...for example, the singles site is having an event this Saturday and he asked me if I'm going, I said, no, I'm going out with a friend and he said oh, I may go..I said cool, have fun. So, nothing to clarify Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Can't you just push the hang up button to stop the call? Sure, I can...but what would that accomplish? He'd just call back and things would be even more awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 With Pedro, the story ends tomorrow. I'll be sending that email...just trying to shape it in my head (if anyone has any advice as to what to write....share). With Mike, I don't feel I have anything to clarify. We both know where we stand...for example, the singles site is having an event this Saturday and he asked me if I'm going, I said, no, I'm going out with a friend and he said oh, I may go..I said cool, have fun. So, nothing to clarify Re Mike: That's good that you're on the same page. Though I think it's not exactly classy to be sharing his dating events with you - a potential date - he's acting like a friend again lol Re Pedro: I would say something short and sweet like I enjoyed our conversations all this time, but I think the relatively long distance and the fact that we don't meet up very often does not work for me. I hope you all the best in your search. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fudgie Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Can you put your phone on vibrate and leave it in your pocket so if it does ring, only you will notice? I think Pedro only would have stopped calling if you stopped picking up/writing to him. You weren't giving up a reason to stop calling. You were still giving him attention, so why would he stop? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Sure, I can...but what would that accomplish? He'd just call back and things would be even more awkward. Lol..would he call back right away though, I mean if you didn't answer, clearly you're busy and will call him back when you see the missed call and are free to talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Re Mike: That's good that you're on the same page. Though I think it's not exactly classy to be sharing his dating events with you - a potential date - he's acting like a friend again lol Re Pedro: I would say something short and sweet like I enjoyed our conversations all this time, but I think the relatively long distance and the fact that we don't meet up very often does not work for me. I hope you all the best in your search. Re Mike: correct. Re Pedro: I was thinking of something like that, yes. Can you put your phone on vibrate and leave it in your pocket so if it does ring, only you will notice? I think Pedro only would have stopped calling if you stopped picking up/writing to him. You weren't giving up a reason to stop calling. You were still giving him attention, so why would he stop? I hadn't thought of the vibrating option....maybe because noone called this late..lol I'm going to do that from now on...and you're right about Pedro...I just thought he'd realise it's pointless...and expensive to keep calling when you have no intention to meet...he is one confusing individual, for sure. Lol..would he call back right away though, I mean if you didn't answer, clearly you're busy and will call him back when you see the missed call and are free to talk. I don't know but I didn't want to risk it because he'd done it once before...I had been in the kitchen and didn't hear the phone and he'd called back 5 minutes later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I would of never picked up my phone if another man was calling me. The only time I would if it was a family member. Yikes. Now Mike is probably thinking about how you are going to have another conversation with Pedro and I'm sure that is not making him to happy. But on the other stuff with Mike, WOW!! I think we may have a match here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 It's easy enough to fix, just tell Mike casually that you've gotten rid of Pedro, next time you see/talk to him. Problem solved (if there was one) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Something about Mike I forgot to mention but it's been bothering me a bit. When he came to my birthday dinner, he didn't bring a gift and he said he didn't have the time to go shopping because he had been in the hospital all day, etc. I didn't really pay any attention to it until tonight, when a friend who knows the whole story and was at the party on Saturday called me and I told her the news and she asked me if he's gotten me anything..and, well, he hasn't...and it's almost been a week...if he turns out to be stingy, too, I'm giving up on Pisces..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 I would of never picked up my phone if another man was calling me And what would you have done? Let the phone ring in the middle of a cafe and not picking up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 And what would you have done? Let the phone ring in the middle of a cafe and not picking up? Yep!, exactly that! . . I would have turned the ringer off, . . anything but answer it while I am on a date with someone else. I would not appreciate my date answering a call from a woman and him telling her that he'll call her later in front of me. . unless he has no intention of ever seeing me again or we've established, without a doubt that we are nothing more than friends. . I feel for Mike. . he put himself out there and was kissing on you and this happened. Look . . if you want to just be his friend then do what you need to do. . But if you want to see if there is a chance then treat him as such. I get that in the moment you just answered w/o thinking. . (maybe) but don't do it again!! Yikes! My new friend Mark won't bring his phone on dates with me. . I really like this about him. For me. .I turn my ringer off while with him and leave it untouched in my purse. And for the bday dinner. . I don't think my guy friends would think of buying me a gift. . but if he's a potential suitor than that would be different. You two are straddling the fence here so try not to judge him with one set of standards and treat him with another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmarple Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Well, now it's happened. I'll put it on vibration next time. Tonight I was caught by surprise, he's never called this late before...and, anyway, I wouldn't mind if Mike took a call from a woman and told her he'd call her later..we have nothing at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janut1 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I totally agree with this ^^ To quick to dismiss on such small things. I would give it more time to see how it goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Something about Mike I forgot to mention but it's been bothering me a bit. When he came to my birthday dinner, he didn't bring a gift and he said he didn't have the time to go shopping because he had been in the hospital all day, etc. I didn't really pay any attention to it until tonight, when a friend who knows the whole story and was at the party on Saturday called me and I told her the news and she asked me if he's gotten me anything..and, well, he hasn't...and it's almost been a week...if he turns out to be stingy, too, I'm giving up on Pisces..lol Umm.....the dinner was a nice gesture and appropriate for where you two are at. Expecting a gift is really kind off on your part. Don't let baggage from your past ruin your present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reinventmyself Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 or maybe we (and your friends) are pressuring you a little too much about Mike . . (our intentions are good though I would be on the look out for things that bother me if I was indeed half hearted about the potential in him. . . Only you know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 I agree that it's unrealistic to expect a gift -did you pay for the birthday dinner or did your friends pay for you (and that is a gift). I agree you can't have your cake and eat it too, for now. If you two are an item in the future then a gift might be in order. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notalady Posted February 6, 2015 Share Posted February 6, 2015 I think for the short amount of time you had known each other and the relationship at the time (acquaintances/new friends), I wouldn't read too much into the fact that he didn't bring a gift. If he's stingy it will show over time. I remember when I went to the movies with my bf before I knew he was interested, you know just as friends/colleagues, he bought the tickets online, I said thanks I'll come around (to his desk) to pay you in a minute, and he told me not to hurry, whenever is fine. But he didn't say no. So I went and gave him the money, thinking he's probably not interested in anything more than friends because he didn't offer to pay for the movies. But once we started dating, he paid for most meals, bought me gifts and just overall being very generous. So I wouldn't read too much into the "pre-dating" behaviour if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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