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Online Dating - A Woman's Journal


missmarple

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Tell us more about this new guy.

 

I don't know much more to tell. I know he's a smoker and on the phone he sounded normal enough. Also, he's into religion and stuff (which I'm not but he said it doesn't matter to him in a partner). He laughs a lot, has a deep voice..and that's about it. We only talked for 15 minutes on the site and 15 more on the phone...but the date is in a couple of hours, so, I'll soon give you a full report

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Well, the new guy...Jim. There's good news and bad news. Good news: he's better looking than his pics (I would go as far as to call him sexy), there was some chemistry between us, he's talkative, we have some things in common (also divorced without kids and a similar sense of humour), he's polite (paid for my coffee) and..this is where the good news stops..lol

Bad news: he didn't ask me ONE single question about me in an hour and a half..and the few things I said about myself he hardly paid any attention to. He was talking about himself all the time...how he was at school, about his hobby (painting), his job, his ex wife, his church...and then about 30 mins of politics with the conclusion that we're doomed as a country because of bad politicians..lol

When it was time to go, he said we'll talk soon which I doubt...maybe HE'll talk but I don't think I will

 

When I got home Pedro called me. Some more whining about how he doesn't earn enough money although this time he explained more. He's paying off a loan and half of his salary every month goes to that. I was tempted to ask him 'since you're in such a situation, how on earth did you think it was a good idea to meet someone who lives 2 hrs away?' but it was pointless....and ofcourse he said nothing about meeting again. Tonight, I found our conversation quite boring...after about 10 minutes I told him I have to go to bed.

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hen I got home Pedro called me. Some more whining about how he doesn't earn enough money although this time he explained more. He's paying off a loan and half of his salary every month goes to that. I was tempted to ask him 'since you're in such a situation, how on earth did you think it was a good idea to meet someone who lives 2 hrs away?' but it was pointless....and ofcourse he said nothing about meeting again. Tonight, I found our conversation quite boring...after about 10 minutes I told him I have to go to bed.

 

geez. he needs to get his act together.

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Do you think he was just nervous and having verbal diarrhea?

 

If that was the only thing, you might consider giving him a few dates to chill out.

 

First time posting on your thread but I agree with DF. On the whole, I'd agree with you in that it doesn't always bode well if your date dominates the convo and hardly asks you any questions. But sometimes they can be nervous, sometimes they can be excited and feel comfortable enough to "gab" as they would with someone close.

 

I guess you're in the best position to assess the situation, but please do consider giving him another chance?

 

Also, I agree with everyone else that you should drop Pedro and give Mike a real chance to show you how he feels about you

 

Good luck!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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I don't know if Jim was nervous...it did take him about 45 minutes to look at me..lol. He was talking and looking at the ceiling, the cafe, the floor, the table, his coffee..anything but me..if I was less confident, I'd think I must be very ugly However, I don't think he had any reason to be nervous..he's been on the site for years and he's met many women from what he said (I asked him). Anyway, he doesn't have that much free time, he works 6 days a week and has one day off and next week that day is Friday, so, if he does ask, it will be in a week from now and I'll have the time to decide if I want to see him again.

 

About Pedro, indeed, last night the thought crossed my mind to ask him if he plans on meeting me again but I decided against it...because I myself I'm not sure anymore that I want to see him again. All those things he told me (about his loan, his financial situation. stuff he told me about his parents that I didn't want to write here etc) are just too much for me when they come from someone I've only met once..20 days ago. I don't think he's lying, I think my instinct about him is correct..that he just has too many problems and all he can offer is some conversations here and there because he feels lonely in that town. Frankly, last night, if I wasn't polite, I would have told him it's pointless to keep emailing/calling me..I don't want a phone buddy.

 

Finally, about Mike, I am giving him a chance as long as I don't have to change my character to suit him. I'll call him today to ask about his mum and I'll go out with him if he asks..but the rest he has to do himself..not because of Pedro (definitely not because of him) but because it's how I am. I just can't make the first move and, especially, when I'm not sure about the guy...it wouldn't only be against what I want (which is a confident guy) but also unfair to him if I did something first (like kiss him or hold his hand) and then said 'you know what, I'm not feeling it'.

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