I'm Scared

[Snow2tears]

so basically it's been 2 months since the breakup and i know its early but i feel like ive healed a lot for just 2 months. I made friends with a guy and we got along right away. I started to develop a small crush on him, and i never wouldve thought id feel that way for someone. i kept it to myself and i just enjoyed the sweet feeling of an innocent crush! eventually i was scared that they would start to grow into something i couldn't handle so i kept them on the back burner and convinced myself to get over him, i believed it was best if i kept anything romantic out of my life for now.

 

with my luck, he confronted me about my feelings, and they were mutual! But the timing was off because i had already convinced myself i didnt like this guy. I was so scared to get hurt again, and i didnt think i was ready yet. so i told him exactly that. And that was that. nothing was going to happen, i basically rejected the guy i liked because of my past relationships.

 

the more i thought about it, the more mad i got. seeing him today at school made me regret it even further! so i decided to tell him everything i was feeling after school. i said " its still very soon, and im so so scared, but that doesn't mean i don't like you." later he called me and we talked about it further. it was all very confusing because we kept misunderstanding what each other meant. but we both agreed that the feeling was mutual and we had to take it very very slow for my sake in case i panic and bail. we decided to hang out this weekend to see how things would go.

 

so now here i am, petrified, and excited at the same time. the more i think about it the more i see all the things my ex couldn't give me. i don't know if things will work out. but i know if they do, it'll be so much better. he's actually the most cheesiest and romantic guy, that even i cringe (and thats saying a lot). but he's just what i needed. he thinks so highly of me that it makes me insecure because i feel like he only sees the good side of me and i told him that i also had a bad side that he should be aware of and he replied with "don't you want to change that about yourself? I have things i don't like about me either, so why don't we change together." i couldn't stop smiling. it's been so long since i've felt so stupidly happy. but i realize that because of the breakup before i have learned from my mistakesk, and im ready to make this relationship a lot better.

 

granted, i still have my doubts. I can't picture myself with anyone other than my ex, and i keep comparing the two. i feel like i'm going to push him away because i'm not used to it. i'm still so scared, and i don't know how to reassure myself. this is only my second relationship and the first one left such an impact...how will i be able to handle any of this?

[SooSad33]

Just remember.. you're not that far out of a breakup. Remember your feelings.. your uncertainties.. your fears.

 

Yes, he is going to look like something much better, because this is all so new and a breath of fresh air to you.

Sounds like you're starting to let your guard down a bit.. with calling & talking.. agreeing to hang etc.

Do be aware of the possible 'sudden' over bearing feelings of lust and thrills that will most likely come about. IF it all starts moving along way too fast.. warning sign.

Also- what Im referring to is your last paragraph- this says 'rebound'. (thinking of the ex. comparing..doubts)

And admitting your last one left such an impact?

 

Keep reminding yourself about the 'need' to take this slowly... or more hurt can come about.

Should this not turn out too well or you do back off.. take time to work on yourself more.

 

tc

[Fushigidane]

I find so many issues happen because of not communicating properly.

Sit down for a coffee or whatever place you like. Be calm and open and accepting if he isn't into it. Just be yourself... But I think you need time to yourself to get over you past relationship. I'd recomend taking up a hobby.

[Ms Darcy]

It almost always ends in disaster when you date before you are ready. I know you won't but the best thing is to leave him be completely and focus on moving forward from the break up. You can see you are not ready. You are not ready.