What's holding me back?

[Snow2tears]

It's been around 1 and a half months since the break up of a 6 month relationship. It was my first also. I've been reading multiple forums, and followed every advice possible. I have a positive outlook on the break up and I've grown A LOT. People have said I've changed so much that the break up seemed so long ago. I believe that I'm a stronger person and I'm trying to become a more whole, stable, complete person so in the future my next love will be so much better.

 

With all that said, I can't help but feel some sadness, and miss him? Even though I know we've changed into different people. I don't really understand why I feel this way even though logically I know I am moving on.

[liberate]

It's good that you've had a positive outlook and that you've grown, but don't think that you should be completely healed already. You can make progress, as you seem to have done, while still missing and feeling sad about your ex. You say that you've logically moved on, and that's a great first step. Emotionally though, it'll probably take longer to stop missing/feeling sad about the situation. This is pretty typical. Think about any other emotional trauma. You move (slowly) from "not ok" to "ok" with plenty of time/overlap in between. It's the way your brain processes these things and heals.

 

Don't assume a correlation between the amount of forums/advice you read and the amount of healing that will occur. I'm sure there's a point when reading too much is counter-productive.

 

Head high. Nothing's holding you back.

[JagzOrDaFlash]

Nothing, understand it's a process and that everyone's process is different. Keep your chin up, smile, you deserve too =)

[tmp110314]

It's been around 1 and a half months since the break up of a 6 month relationship. It was my first also. I've been reading multiple forums, and followed every advice possible. I have a positive outlook on the break up and I've grown A LOT. People have said I've changed so much that the break up seemed so long ago. I believe that I'm a stronger person and I'm trying to become a more whole, stable, complete person so in the future my next love will be so much better.

 

With all that said, I can't help but feel some sadness, and miss him? Even though I know we've changed into different people. I don't really understand why I feel this way even though logically I know I am moving on.

 

Congratulations on your progress. Many people, including myself, will take something away from your post to help us as well.

 

The process of getting 'healthy' again will take a while. You will feel sadness and miss him for some time to come. But, with your positive take on this, you will keep progressing to the point that you will heal and he will only be a memory to you.

 

After 44 years, I still have those feelings. So much so, that they become overwhelming. I still feel like I am in mourning over her. I make progress and then have setbacks. I keep reading the forums so that I can keep some perspective on the situation. I am not the only one going through these feelings, just as you are.

 

I hope for your continued success and, in time, things will get better.

 

Thank you for posting.

[bwhite00]

Keep looking forward. Immerse yourself in the present. Forget the past.