Am I a bad person?

[Snow2tears]

After breaking up with my ex, I was devastated. The advice i got was to go out, make friends, and basically distract myself from the break up. My ex got jealous and said it made him feel uncomfortable. He was like "didn't you notice I didn't go talk to other girls? I wanted to show you that you meant a lot to me and after you I won't find someone after a long time".

 

I felt like poop, because he thought I got over him fast. But that's not true, he meant so much to me. There wasn't one second I forgot about him. But I couldn't just mope around at home...I want to let him know that but that's probably a mistake. I don't know what to do.

[ParisPaulette]

I don't know the circumstances of your breakup the bottom line is this: you two are broken up and he has no say over what you do or don't do now. And criticizing you for how you are dealing with the breakup just proves one point--that he thinks you should have stayed home and moped about or chased only him to boost his ego. That's not someone who is acting in a loving manner. If he really wanted the best for you he'd be happy that you are going out and moving on with your life. My advice would be to IF you respond at all, and frankly I'm only in favor of you ignoring any and all communication and going NC on him, it would be to point out that since you are both broken up he has no say in how you choose to deal with the loss of the relationship. And then leave it at that, ignore his jealous "How come she gets to have a life when she wasn't supposed to after me" rants and keep focusing on your healing.

 

Also my advice would be to explore the idea of going full no contact. It's for reasons like what you're experiencing now that NC is such a good idea, particularly if the breakup was a bad one and/or one partner is controlling which honestly is what he is. His words are an attempt to control your life and control you and he doesn't have that right, not even if he's together with you let alone you two are broken up. Please don't feel you have defend your own actions, you didn't do anything wrong, he's just seeking to maintain control over you. And THAT'S what isn't healthy and isn't normal. He's the one who's in the wrong here.

[laninaperdida]

Maybe he said he's not going out with any girls because no girls will go out with HIM?

Men tend to rebound much more quickly than women so I think there's something missing from his little speech of nobility.

Either that or he expected the BU to hit you harder than it did & he's a little tiffed you're not eating ice cream & crying about him.

However, he could also be genuinely upset which is nice to know, but @ the end of the day who gives a f about HIS feelings?

The only person you should think about after a BU is yourself,

Even if you dumped him, you shouldn't refrain from living your life on behalf of someone else.

Do you,

[TheNewGuy]

. He was like "didn't you notice I didn't go talk to other girls? I wanted to show you that you meant a lot to me and after you I won't find someone after a long time.

 

Don't fall for that. I'm sure he knows exactly how you feel over him still and he's just keeping you strung along to keep the door open incase he needs someone to fall back on. He knew saying that to you would make you feel bad. I hate when people do that. It's pathetic ya know? It's like he knows you can't get over him and he is using that against you for whatever reason. Seriously though, it's a classic line, let it go and keep moving forward.