Last hurdle

[if only]

ok, my ex who I was with for 5 + years, split up over 7 months ago. I feel I am totally over him now. I may not be which is why I have wrote this as I need some advise.....

 

I have met several nice men over the past few months and on the night I spend time with them I really enjoy there company and think I should meet up with them. I give them my number.

 

The big problem is the next day when I wake up I change my mind and don't reply to there text/phone calls (I know not fair but I don't know what else to do in order to not string them on) there was one guy who I did reply to but he was someone I have known on and off for a few years - things didn't work out he had a GF that I didn't know about!!!

 

I think it may be because:

 

A) I am scared of what to expect, my ex was a close friend before we started dating and we were very young when we got together so I haven't really experienced dates with people I don't know, he was also my first real boyfriend although there was other guys through school

 

or

 

B) I am not over my ex which is why I don't want to date these people yet.

 

I don't think I am a shy person ( in fact I am very bubbly have lots of friends and never struggle to talk. I do lots of networking at work too) I have loads of male friends who I find I can talk to easily so don't think this is the problem either. I do however worry if I go on these dates that people wont like me or it will be uncomfortable. is this shyness or Is there something wrong with me?

[dreamweaverdude]

Question: Do you feel guilty about being with any othe men?

just curious if so that may answer your own question....

 

by the wa, love the quote at the bottom of not crying because it is over but smiling because it happened... I needed that

[if only]

glad you like it a friend of mine said it to me when I first split with my ex and how true!!!

 

No I don't feel guilty about being with other people, that's what I mean when I say I think im over him, I don't talk/think or even want to be with him anymore and I am genuinely happier without him. I am happy we split up I am having a really good time just cant put my finger on the problem!!!

 

I keep thinking when I meet the right person I will change but some of these guys are really great sometimes I regret not answering but not till a few weeks later and at the end of the day I know if I don't enjoy the dates it will just end up meaning I have made more friends.

 

I even said to one guy I don't want to go on a date with him as it was too soon after the ex but he said he would take me out for a drink just as a friend and expect no more sounded good but nope just couldn't do it!!!

 

I think im strange

[Breea]

Maybe you are just not quite ready. 5+ years is a long time. It took me well over 2 yrs before I was ready (after 14 yrs w/someone). When you are ready you will move on.

 

Best of luck. -Bree