Why me

[Snow2tears]

My boyfriend and I decided to be friends but I realize we still need a lot of time...well I know I need to. Right now I miss him so so so much. But I know what's good for me. I need the space but I can't help but feel jealous of my BESTFRIEND who got close to him because of me. She has all her classes with him and they can talk and joke. While I barely see him.

 

I want to be his friend. But deep down I think I still have that little hope that we will get back together even though I'm pretty sure he doesn't. We are not bitter towards each other at all. But I notice when we do talk I can't help but talk about us. I never get a chance to see him at school and I don't have any excuse to message him after.

 

Do I need more time for the "hope" to fade away. And maybe start texting him. He said to me that he hopes one day we will be able to have conversations that isn't only about us. I know he still cares and I care too. But in a different way I guess. It hurts to see him and I can't talk to him like normal

[mhowe]

You are not capable of having a conversation right now that isn't about "us", the break up, etc.

 

Focus on healing and maybe at some point you can be friends.

Let hope die. It is your enemy. You will not get back together. Both people have to want it and he does not.

[mbee]

Yes, you need more time. Forcing friendship while having ANY hope will actually hurt and even kill your friendship. I've been in his boat before and think of it from his perspective.

 

He does not want a relationship with you anymore. He's over it. He talks to you like normal and says normal things, and suddenly you might get upset, jealous and want to talk about "us." After a few times of this he begins to ASSOCIATE you with this awkward friendship thing. He'll have to monitor what he says to you. If he starts dating someone he may have to hide it from you. If he makes a comment about something he hates, that you loved in the relationship, he'll have to hold back. Over time, the friendship will fail and there will only be annoying and awkward feelings left over.

 

Again, I've been there before and it took almost 2 years of NC from my ex for us to actually be friends.

[SooSad33]

You cannot be 'friends' until those 'feelings' are gone....

If you don't see him at school, consider that a GOOD thing. Honestly,, you dont want to, in order to start healing.

Less reminders the better.

 

As for the friend... nice friend to have.(?) Hope she doesnt rub him in ur face too.

Be glad you dont have him in ur classes. Like i said.. you dont want to.

[pippy longstocking]

you only have to look around this board darling to know it's not just you ...we are all mostly a bunch of dumped broken hearts ..

 

I can absolutely assure you there is whole new chapter of life about to start for you ...you have to just do your grief and that is all there is to it ....remember he hasnt been a friend has he ...and you are in no state to try and capture any kind of friendship even if he was willing ...honestly you will go mad , reading into his words , how much he contacts you , etc etc ...it will the hardest thing ever and all the time your head will be getting more and more wrecked .

 

for you ....stay away ...I promise you you will be doing this for your own good and mental wellbeing . It is a bit crap your pal been friends with him , I would find that hard as well xx