Familiar dull ache

[Snow2tears]

It hasn't been that long since the break up but I feel like weeks have past. The horrible pain is now just a dull ache in the back of my heart. I feel like the slightest trigger will set me off...crying. I don't want to jinx it but I can see the time and NC doing me some good. I almost have a new routine. Also, I've set myself new goals for example finding a new job.

 

I started calling my moments of weakness, "episodes". When I start to really miss and dwell on my ex. I feel like I need one at least everyday to keep myself sane. To prevent build up. This is more like a rant. I don't make any sense right now.

[mhowe]

Umm, no you don't. And it has been days. You need to get weeks/months of NC under your belt.

 

Focus on the future. Not on the past.

[Jackiedandy]

You'll have ups and downs. It's normal. Eventually the up and down waves get less and less intense, so eventually you don't feel them as much any more.

 

I'm coming to a state where I'm not thinking in terms of "missing" or "lost". Life has just changed shape. Now I'm getting used to it.

[Snow2tears]

I had a dream me and me ex got back together and it was amazing. Like he wanted to change and show all the affection in the world. And I was ready to give him his space. It was my birthday and my parents were planning something extravagant. He was always putting his arm around me. We were joking around. He felt so sad when he saw that I was talking to other people. He kissed me. And hugged me. I was so happy. But then I woke up and reality hit me really hard.

 

I can't even cry cause I'm in so much shock.

[rebellefleur]

Dreams are evil aren't they? Ugh i've had those dreams before and it sucks! Luckily this time around he hasn't starred in any of my dreams yet, just one but i can't even remember. But what a harsh kick in the metaphorical balls it is when you wake up and face reality.

 

Keep moving! Onward march!