Brokenheart99 Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Well it's official. My ex has a gf, 2.5 months out of a three yr relationship. I think they might even have gotten married or promised each other or something. They have rings too. Idk how to feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Like it is time to finally let go and move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 Yeah. I guess so. He won everything. I was doing okay without knowing this. I'm not as crushed as imagined but I think I'm just in shock still. There are no words. The hardest is that I think I just knew that even though we were over, he could still be a friend if I really needed something or was in a bind one day or really sad, bc he was still single. Tho I never contacted him but a few mistakes, I knew the option for a friend or someone in time of need was there. Now I'll feel like the crazy witch destroying a relationship. It's the goodbye I guess that is killing me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopelessincan Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 ugh. That sucks. Sorry to hear. That's pretty fast imho. It's ok to feel hurt or upset over that. pretty crappy on his part. If they have rings and stuff, that's a little too fast...... I don't see that lasting. Can anyone say rebound? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharky988 Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 You're not the crazy witch in this scenario. If this breakup was a movie, YOU are the one the audience would be rooting for. Whether it lasts or not, you're going to move on and heal.... you're going to fully recover from this breakup in a normal healthy fashion, with dignity, not rushing into an immediate relationship with someone else. And in time you'll be happy again with someone else, someone better for you. There's nothing witchy about any of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 16, 2013 Author Share Posted September 16, 2013 I'm tired honestly. I'm so tired. I'm freaking 30. I've had three seriosu heartbreaks the last 7 yrs of my life. My first was my ex fiancé, he married someone after 3 months of us ending(I broke it off bc of living situations, regretted immediately, he never took me back tho). My ex after him cheated on me. And now this. I'm just tired honestly. Welcome to my pity party. Idc if I rush into another relationship, I would rather just be in one so i can get it over with and start my life. After 30, it's hard. Everyone runs when they find out my age or guys aren't serious with me. Or honestly all the weirdos are left. I'm sure if someone was telling me this, I would say "u will find love, don't worry there is someone just be patient blah blah". But honestly, 7 yrs ago when I was deciding to break my engagement off, I told myself the same and was told that. 7 yrs later, heart break after heart break, I'm still here lonely and suffering. I'm just tired. I honestly thought this time was a new chapter in my life. I was healing, doing much better than I ever have in a break up, with the amount of crap I've been thru these last 7 yrs(I can't even begin to explain all the bad that's happened to me), I finally thought things were turning around. I swear, life sure knows how to sucker punch you. It's just he treated me like crap most of the time, I was incredibly amazing to him, he still can't say otherwise. He's treated all his exes like crap, none of them talk to him anymore. I taught him how to communicate and be in a relationship, I put him in school, showed him how to dress, etc, I found him jobs, helped him every way possible...and some other girl profits. It's not even that, it's like where Is my good karma? How is it that after being such a jerk for so long, he gets to ruin my life(I can't explain why online) and gets off Scott free meeting another perky girl in 2.5 months. Suddenly he's a man of God, and he has told her how he's changed so much and found religion(which all might be true or it's just another phase of his), and she just believes and forgives all the crap from his past. Meanwhile, here I'm stuck in another heartbreak, wasted three yrs in a relationship, I got nothing but tears and pain and some other stuff I can't mention here, while I'm still looking for love. It's so much easier for him since he's still young. I got the short end here. Yay..my pity party, sorry for the venting. Honestly, I was fine. I had my bad days but I was doing okay mentally and making due. I'm just tired now. I give up. How long before things turn around for me? How long do I get to be the nice caring person while everyone walks all over me and uses up everything I offer for bigger and better things in life? If you want to see a bitter woman, here she is. This is how she is created. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
louisecar Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 its bound to hurt but i will say that him being in a relationship so soon after the breakup should not be considered a success or that karma is rewarding him. i did the rebound thing 6 weeks after breaking from a long term relationship after he cheated on me. it was a distraction and i think that it is likely a rebound for him. i would be surprised if your exs relationship lasted long. you are 30. that is NOT old to be single in this day and age. try ur best to find happiness on your own. dont make ur happiness dependent on being with someone. its difficult, i know believe me, i am not 30 yet but not far off and we are not where we thought we would be in life but who knows what 2mor holds. be hopeful that you will have the future you deserve and in the meantime have some fun without expectation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeFallFeelin Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 30 is not old! 30 is when life starts to really get good! I think most people over 30 will agree. Life becomes a bit easier in the sense that you no longer have to prove yourself to anyone. Congratulations, you made it this far! Trust me, I know how bad it hurts to learn that the ex is seeing someone else. You hope that the person you love is as sad about losing you as you are about losing them. But the harsh truth is that that's rarely the case. Some people are out of the relationship before they leave, and others are simply emotionally wired more like alligators. If your ex ends one long term relationship and then gets engaged in only a couple months, then he's definitely got codependency issues, as well as maturity issues. He's headed for certain doom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardnergirl2 Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I sooooooooooo know how you feel. 3 weeks out of 3.5 years, my ex new woman asked to move in. And that she did. I reckon she is still there. He has ignored me in public and wouldn't even express a condolence when I lost my granny. He is forbidden to speak to me. It seems so unfair that he waltzed right into his next LTR and I ant get anything off the ground. In time the pain will lessen. My ex is now trapped with a sorry, lazy woman and everybody sees it. So for what it's worth, he's in a serious relationship, but I don't think he's happy. I know one day I will find a good guy and he ll be stuck with a lazy loser.....so, I win And you will too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkie9901 Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I know that sometimes it seems like nice people finish last, but it is more a matter of learning who the people are that will take advantage of your "niceness" and setting firm boundaries with them. It's a lesson you only learn over time unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Share Posted September 17, 2013 I haven't won. Forgive me for being negative and pessimistic and down and maybe even harsh, I'm sorry. I'm just tired. For 7 years, I've heard this. It will get better, they won't be happy, you will find something better blah blah blah, ur not old, it won't work out bc it's so soon. Fact of my bitter life is that all that crap has been wrong. They did move on in a short time, it was better than me, they are happy, it's only gotten worse for me. I'm sorry I am so negative. Today is a terrible day. Nice people always effin get crapped on. Maybe it's a rebound, I doubt it. I think it's him forcing himself to move on and eventually he will and it will work. Yeah I'm sure I need to focus on my life, whatever. I've got my crap together. There is just no one to get my crap together with. Sorry, thanks for the support, I'm having a terrible day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mg22 Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 My ex did the same, left me for someone else. While he was all so much In love with the new GF the honeymoon stage didn't last that long. Last I heard he's back to his ways, hunting for the next victom !! NC helped me not only heal but to fall out of love with him and recognize what a jerk he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinkie9901 Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 I know nothing we say will make you feel better right now.. ((hugs)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fwdthinker Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 That sucks and I'm so sorry. Hugs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittykat12 Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 It does suck, I know how you feel The worst pain imaginable Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Share Posted September 17, 2013 Hugs back. Thanks all. It's the worst pain. I guess in some ways, this is the worst, this is the last hurt he could have done to me, what I dreaded. Now the band aid is pulled off, he can't hurt me anymore I guess. Right now, all I can freaking remember is their pics together. And just think that used to be me. He used to feel that way about me. I feel like I lost some battle or something, idk. Like I would give so much for him to feel the way about me like he used to or even look at me the same way again. I hate the never again part, knowing that u will never have any of it again. it was an accident that I even saw the pic, his new gf showed up as a suggested friend on my fb(with their pic together on her profile pic), even tho I'm not friends with him anymore on fb. Idk how or why that's possible. Facebook hates dumpees, I swear. It's so shameless, the outfit I freaking bought for him, pants shirt and tie for our anniversary, he is wearing on their date together, not even 3 months later. Shameless. Might as well just play our song while you make out and take her to our first date. Thanks for listening and being supportive all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted September 17, 2013 Share Posted September 17, 2013 You hurt yourself when you stay in tune to your ex through facebook, twitter or word of mouth. When it's over, let the stuff be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Share Posted September 17, 2013 He's defriended, I wasnt in touch =\ it was just bad luck I saw, bc of mutual friends and stupid facebook's list of suggested friends that spam your newsfeed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 17, 2013 Author Share Posted September 17, 2013 Thanks for the support everyone, it's been really helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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