Snow2tears Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 If you read my previous threads you'll know I broke up with my bf on really good terms and we even decided to be friends. So today was day 1 of not being together and basically we were joking about the break up whilst the break up was happening. And I've been preparing for this break up since we decided to go on break. I guess I was still attached because I kept messaging him. My mistake, I know, and he finally said he still felt suffocated even when were not together. He told me we both needed a break because his idea of a friend is different from my idea of a friend. I get attached and intimate while he doesn't. I know where I went wrong I really regret messaging him. He says he wants me in his life and for that to happen, something needs to change. I feel like I already ruined our chances of being friends. Any suggestions? Update: I told him that I made a mistake and I really regretted it and I didn't want us to end up not talking to each other and feeling awkward when we do. Ill respect his space because we both need time to heal. He said he agreed and we said see you tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokenheart99 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 That's one of the inherent problems of being friends =\ you just can't, because you will end up expecting more and treating it similarly to how you were together, and the other person won't. There will always be expectations and you can never heal. And then what about when he starts to date? I mean, being friends just sets you back and you can't heal. I'm sure if you want to endure the pain, he will come around and talk to you again, but you may just keep getting hurt in the process of being friends. =\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Like you said 'TIME to heal', which means leave him alone now- for a good while. In order for you to EVER become 'friends' again, it when you two NO longer have those 'feelings' for each other. Until then, something like a friendship can't work out. Could take months.. or a year, who knows? But time for YOU to back off, respect his wishes ( I know it's hard) and work on you. Work on healing and accepting this difficult change. It hurts, we understand! But- not much you can do, but work on yourself and getting stable and happy again. Could take a good few months.. or more. One day at a time.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow2tears Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 I don't know how to apologize for making it harder on us. But to respect his wishes. I don't think we will ever become close friends well not until a long long time. But it's our last year of high school. And we're probably going to different universities. So it'd be too late if anything were to get better. I forgot to mention a little detail. When we were talking, I sent him a video of what I boyfriend should do. And I really really regret it. It was mean of me. But seeing today that he was okay and he didn't need me anymore. I forced myself to be like that too. And I wanted to show him that I was over it enough to joke around like that. But that was too soon. I know what I did was wrong. So no one needs to repeat it. But how will I ever redeem myself? That's why I feel like I ruined everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SooSad33 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 When we have these tough times. we can 'lash out' in the wrong sense and regret it after. It happen's, you're not alone. What you need to do now though- is just leave it all alone. Im sure he still feels for you and he will in time find it possible to 'talk' with you again. But for now, no. Time to leave him be and give him his space. Go elsewhere & do your thing.. away from him. No spying, following, msg'ing.. nothing! Whatever happen's, happens between you two. One day at a time.. dont worry what next month or year will bring. We don't know- that's way in the future. Worry about YOU now.. deal with you and your pain, regrets, etc. Work on getting yourself at peace again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow2tears Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 Yes I agree, I will need to wait. I'm pretty sure he won't message at all. But I can't really blame him. What I did was wrong, it's all up to him. I would have never agreed that exes can't be friends because i was so sure we would be. But maybe not. I have learned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow2tears Posted September 13, 2013 Author Share Posted September 13, 2013 I guess I just needed people to tell me that it's okay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Ex's can be friends, but it's a rare ordeal. I'm still friends with one of my exes and I wouldn't have it any other way. We're still there for each other and I wouldn't know what to do without her. Yeah... probably should have not let that one go, but things happen I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kittykat12 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Ex's can be friends, but it's a rare ordeal. I'm still friends with one of my exes and I wouldn't have it any other way. We're still there for each other and I wouldn't know what to do without her. Yeah... probably should have not let that one go, but things happen I suppose. How did things end between you? I am not friends with any exs. And due to the nature of my current break up, I cannot imagine we ever will be. Not that I mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheNewGuy Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 How did things end between you? I am not friends with any exs. And due to the nature of my current break up, I cannot imagine we ever will be. Not that I mind. Well to make a long story short as I don't want to sidetrack Snow2tears thread, I wanted something more serious and she wasn't ready for that. I understood as she was a few years younger than I. Til this day we can't agree on who broke up with who lol, but it's okay cause we had a wonderful year together. My other exes all cheated on me, so I cant even begin to ever want to be their friend or anything else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bwhite00 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 cheaters get what's coming tng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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