shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 My Co worker did my lawns a couple of weeks ago. Overtime has dried up at work, so he was looking for some extra cash. He did such an awesome job, that my Son suggested he do his Father's lawn as well. He did it Saturday, and was complaining of feeling ill afterwards. My Ex Husband made him a tea & a sandwich, hoping it would make him feel better. He drove home, and then didnt show up to work for 3 days. He didn't answer his mobile, and 2 guys from work went to his house. His car was in the driveway with half the cup of tea & half the sandwich still on the front seat, we all knew then that something was wrong. The police eventually got the keys to his house after checking all the local hospitals, and found him dead in his bed. It hurts me to know that he died alone, probably Saturday afternoon, and laid there til we raised the alarm yesterday. I also feel guilt because my Co worker rang me telling me he felt ill, and asking what time my Ex would be back, as he wanted a tea to settle his stomach. (My Ex had paid him & left him to finish as he had shopping to do). If only I had gone over to the Exs house, I could have seen how sick he was, and taken him to the hospital. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 It is not on you sweety---- he could have rung for the ambulance himself. I am sorry for what you are feeling --- but your ex made him tea and a sandwich...you didn't ignore him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 Thanks Mhowe.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaytie Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss shelly62. It's so hard not to torture yourself with all the 'what ifs' isn't it? I understand you feel badly, but you had no way of knowing that this would be fatal. Big hugs for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capricorn3 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 That's so sad. You couldn't have known. (My husband arrived at work early on a Monday morning and found the cleaner lying dead on the floor next to the elevators - that was a few years ago and it still stays with him to this day. I wasn't there, but I still think about it often - so sad). I'm sorry for happened and how you must be feeling right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I'm so sorry that this happened but it is not your fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alli Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I'm so sorry this happened. It's normal to look at a situation like this and regret not doing something about it, but I think you know in your mind that there is no possible way you could have logically concluded that this would happen. Even if you did drive over there immediately when he said he felt ill, you know you wouldn't have been able to tell he was about to die by his appearance. I'm guessing a heart attack? The guy himself didn't even know he was that sick when it happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Even if you had phoned an ambulance or he was even in the hospital that's not saying he would've lived. Not everyone survives a heart attack even if they have help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 Thanks everyone xxxx My sane, rational self is telling me everything you are, but my emotional, grieving self is trying to win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seraphim Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Thanks everyone xxxx My sane, rational self is telling me everything you are, but my emotional, grieving self is trying to win. It is perfectly okay to grieve. It is part of healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 To make matters worse, this is going to be the 3rd funeral in 5 years, and they were all under 50, My Sister committed suicide, my best friends ex was pinned to a building by his car that had a faulty hand brake, and now this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 Well ---- once you reach a certain age, you go to more funerals than weddings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 Havent been to a wedding in years, was hoping the next one would be mine, hasn't worked out that way I am afraid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I have been going to a funeral a year for as long as I can remember, and most of them are relatives --- or friends parents. However, my sister has you beat --- she is on 10 in 3 years. I try not to be around her (joking!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 29, 2013 Author Share Posted August 29, 2013 I have been going to a funeral a year for as long as I can remember, and most of them are relatives --- or friends parents. However, my sister has you beat --- she is on 10 in 3 years. I try not to be around her (joking!!) You made me laugh, thank you, I needed that. Again, thanks everyone for your kind words & support, I understand now why so many people use this site xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 You made me laugh, thank you, I needed that. Again, thanks everyone for your kind words & support, I understand now why so many people use this site xxx Well, us Irish-Americans have big clans and there is always someone dying. Luckily, we throw a good wake!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted August 29, 2013 Share Posted August 29, 2013 I'm sorry for your loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shellyf62 Posted August 30, 2013 Author Share Posted August 30, 2013 Thanks Annie Everyone at work seems better today, the only thing that got me crying this morning was driving into the driveway, and a casual we have had parked in his parking spot. There was 10 vacant car spots & he picked that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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