greywolf Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 I decided to make a new journal since there have been a lot of changes in my life (and not because I was too lazy to find the old one). I graduated nursing school last year, and I couldn't find a hospital job. I finally found one here in Florida, so I moved to the other side of the country and started last week. I got hired on a stepdown unit, which is pretty much my dream new grad job (I eventually hope to be a critical care nurse). I start tomorrow on the unit, and I'm really nervous. I feel like I don't know anything. I just know that I'm going to get onto the floor and I'll do something stupid and people will think, "She's an RN???" And it's been over a year since I graduated so things aren't fresh anymore. Anyway, so I thought a new journal would be nice so I could talk about my experiences here. Also, I feel that I should make a little "disclaimer" first. I'm ok with this area, and I love the hospital that I'll be working at, so if I make complaints or start ranting about things, it's not because I hate it here. I'm just not used to the way things are here yet, and sometimes it bothers me. Having said that, let me get to my first rant: The drivers. Life in the Slow Lane?? I just don't understand it. Everyone here is super polite and friendly, until they get into their cars, and something just changes inside their brains. Suddenly they have somewhere they need to be right now. You'd think I'd be used to rude people that drive too fast. I'm from Los Angeles! There are no freeways here. We just have a highway that has lights on it and the speed limit if 55 mph. I don't feel comfortable driving faster than 65 on it, because there are people turning left and making u-turns on the highway, and I don't know where everything is yet, so I don't want to have to make a last second turn going at 75. Sometimes I have to be in the left lane because I need to make a left turn, but because I don't know the area yet, I'm probably in the left lane longer than I need to be, and I get people that tail me so close. I'm sorry! I've got to turn left! I'm not in the left lane just because I'm an oblivious inconsiderate driver. UGH. Everyone in this city is old. Where are all these old people going that they need to get there so fast??? I just don't get it. Today the light turned green, and the person in the car up front wasn't paying attention, so the next person honked. And it wasn't just a little tap on the horn to get the other person to pay attention. No, he honked the horn and held it for a full five seconds. I find that so rude. And again I wonder, why are these old people in such a hurry??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 They don't have much time left and they are trying to make the most of it!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 20, 2013 Share Posted August 20, 2013 Most likely late for the "all you can eat" buffet at Shoney's..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted August 20, 2013 Author Share Posted August 20, 2013 hahaha. Sometimes I see an old guy on a motorcycle wearing shorts, and I keep thinking, "Oh dear God please don't ever let him crash." Imagine the road rash on the old fragile skin? =/ The other day I watched a baptism performed on an elderly lady. It did not go well. They immersed her in the water, and when she was brought out, she was in a panic, and I was so glad that at least half of the members of that church were nurses, because that is not something I am prepared for yet... >_> Thankfully, she recovered without help. Made me nervous for a bit there though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 Oh man. I am so excited to hear your stories of your new life in Florida. I particularly loved your pic of the mall in your new town that you posted on FB! Ha! Florida is one of a kind, IMO. I lived in Atlanta and even though it was still the south, it was very different from my Florida life. People in the south are generally polite and courteous and expect the same. So get used to holding doors for people, smiling at passersby, making small talk in the elevators, and people just generally being friendly. And you have to make sure to do it back because we will judge you if not! "She didn't hold the door for me? The nerve of that girl. She must be from the North!" That's our go-to haha. I hope you have a good time at your job! I am super proud of you for getting it and making sucha big move!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 I am super impressed that you are a nurse! WOW! Let me say that again, WOW!! So glad that you will be writing a journel about it. I will be sure to read it. ...chi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted August 21, 2013 Author Share Posted August 21, 2013 I am getting so so nervous. My first day on the unit is tomorrow and I just know that they're going to find out that I am incompetent, that I don't know anything, and I'll put a patient's life at risk or something. image removed My hair has been coming out in big chunks! It took me a week to clog the bath tub in my apartment. ;o; I just made sure that I had all my stuff ready for tomorrow and I've learned that my pen light needs new batteries. Ah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhowe Posted August 21, 2013 Share Posted August 21, 2013 You will be fine. Go to sleep!!! And if you don't "remember" something ask....don't want to read about you in tomorrow's papers!!!! NURSE IN FL SENDS PATIENT TO COMA>>>> I am getting so so nervous. My first day on the unit is tomorrow and I just know that they're going to find out that I am incompetent, that I don't know anything, and I'll put a patient's life at risk or something. image removed My hair has been coming out in big chunks! It took me a week to clog the bath tub in my apartment. ;o; Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted August 26, 2013 Author Share Posted August 26, 2013 Finally some free time! So, I didn't kill anyone last week. image removed I am uncertain about whether I'm doing well or not though. Sometimes everything just seems so clear and I feel good, and other times I feel so confused and have zero confidence in myself. We had a code blue on Friday and I was trying to help, but I was thinking the whole time, "Am I helping or just getting in the way?? Ah! Oh god what do I do???" At one point all the nurses left and I was the only one left in the room with the doctor and she started asking me to administer epi and I was like, "Ah! I'm a new grad!" image removed So I ran out and found the nearest nurse and said, "The doctor is asking for epi!" O_O And since I"m talking about the doctor... Man, I love her. She walked in, an asian woman who couldn't have been more than 5 feet tall, and just took charge of the situation. Then saw the equipment that we were going to use to intubate the patient, and she got excited. I swear, she got so excited! She said, "Oh wow! I love these! Why don't we have these downstairs?? These are great!" All while the patient's oxygen saturation was down in the 30s. I want to be exactly like her some day. I've actually been having a tough time lately. I know it seems so trivial, but I've been having such a difficult time dealing with not being able to buy the kind of food that I'm used to. I considered driving up to Orlando the other day to find an asian market. That's how desperate I was. I even started to feel like maybe I wouldn't make it out here. But today I stopped by a local health food store, and there were actually some typically asian foods there. I picked up some sticky rice flour and mung bean noodles. It was super expensive though. I also find it a little odd that they are considered health foods, because it's every day food to me. >_> This place was also close to the lake, and that made me feel better. I don't live close to the big lake, so I forget how beautiful it is out here. I wish I could have found an apartment by the lake, but it's mostly taken up by vacation houses. *sigh* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renaissancewoman101 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Can you order some of your Asian foods online?? Sometimes they might sell it online at Amazon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted August 27, 2013 Author Share Posted August 27, 2013 Can you order some of your Asian foods online?? Sometimes they might sell it online at Amazon. My sis actually called last night while she was at seafood city and picked up some stuff for me. So yay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 I saw lightning hit a telephone pole today. There was a loud crack, and then sparks everywhere. o.O I just finished my second week on the floor. I thought I had been doing fairly well. I was starting to feel more confident and on Wednesday my preceptor decided that I was ready to take responsibility for two patients. image removed Everything was going well, until my patient had to be sent to cardiac cath twice in a day, and the second time came back with a balloon pump. It's basically a balloon that is inserted into the aorta that connects to the heart, and inflates when the heart beats to assist with pumping the blood out. It's kind of a big deal. There always needs to be a nurse in the room. You can't leave. Thoughts started flying through my head like, "What did I get myself into?" "What am I doing here??" "What made me think I'd actually do well in ICU???" Thankfully, my preceptor quickly took over. That was a relief. Then the charge nurse, in an attempt to be helpful, printed out some material on balloon pumps for me to read. So I started reading, and quickly realized I didn't understand half of it, and my stress level just skyrocketed again. Then I had a scheduled shift yesterday, and this time I thought I was doing well again, until I missed a call light. The thing is, the call lights don't make noise, and I'm still not into the habit of looking above the doors to see if the call light is on. I was talking to a patient's family member outside in the hallways and as I walked away, one of the nurses came to talk to me, and he's always been super friendly and nice to me, but he said, "Your patient's call light was on, and I was watching you, and you were just outside chatting and you didn't bother to answer. The CNA finally answered the call light for you. That's unacceptable. The patient could be dying in there and you wouldn't know." He was pretty upset with me, but he's absolutely right. That pretty much ruined the rest of my day. I felt like crap. I don't deal well with people being upset with me, especially when it's because I've done something wrong. Even now when I think about it I feel embarrassed and disappointed in myself. After that I kept on glancing at the call lights every few minutes to make sure they weren't on, and then later, the CNA walked by and I noticed she was walking into one of the rooms that had a call light on. How did I miss it again??? I know I had checked only a minute or two before. It makes me look so so bad, like I don't give a crap. =( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 awww, don't feel too bad. you're still new there, and soon some of these things will become second nature to you (staring at the lights while having a conversation with someone). it's still new and you have a lot to focus on. it will be ok. (and no one died, right?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 Nope, no one died lol. Today was horrible. Somehow my preceptor ended up with 2 orientees, and we were in the coronary care unit, which is more acute than ICU. I had never had patients this acute before, and my preceptor gave 2 of them to me, and it was just a mess. I didn't get to sit down until 2 o'clock, and then my preceptor told me I could take lunch, so I wolfed down my food and came back, and finally got to look at a computer, only to realize that there were a whole bunch of doctor's orders that I hadn't done. UGH. I just don't know if I'm expected to handle this stuff by 3 weeks, or if I just kind of got dumped into a situation that should be way beyond my abilities. My first patient's oxygen saturation kept on going down to the 70s and the other had a bowel movement 4 times today and was uncooperative, lethargic, and over 200 lbs. I just feel so awful about my performance today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 And then the night nurse that came... She upset me so much. She came in and took a look at the second patient and got all upset and said, "I don't have time to deal with this all night." And immediately put her in restraints. I hate putting patients in restraints. It's not right. It's also illegal to do it if you don't have a doctor's order, and it's against hospital policy to do it if you haven't tried a sitter yet. And she was super witchy to the patient. What the hell? She wanted to turn the patient and just started to shove her and I got all upset again, because the patient was actually pretty good about helping us turn her if we explained to her that we wanted to turn her. Yeah, it takes a bit longer to explain, but it also takes longer to fight with a patient who isn't cooperating. I just couldn't believe it. The patient was sick and confused! It's not like she was purposely trying to make our jobs harder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaytie Posted September 4, 2013 Share Posted September 4, 2013 Sorry it's been so stressful greywolf. My partner is a nurse practitioner (paediatric) and she had similar stories early in her career. You can do it! Just keep pressing on and you will learn, and become less stressed out. My partner was in the nicu and on the transport team and it was REALLY stressful, but she made it. You can too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 5, 2013 Author Share Posted September 5, 2013 I am so so tired and cranky today, and I miss my stupid little dog so much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 I don't know why night nurses are such witches, with a capital B. First there was the one a couple days ago who didn't even treat the patient like she was a human being. Just because a patient isn't aware of what's going on doesn't mean it's ok to treat them like crap. And then today the night nurse nitpicked every little thing, and then found something wrong an hour and a half into her shift and somehow it was my preceptor's and my fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 too little sleep and too little sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 too little sleep and too little sex? I don't get that much sleep in between my shifts either. I got home at 9 today and I should be in bed by 9:45 if I want to get a full 8 hours sleep, but I still have to take care of dinner and shower and stuff. Though working nights is harder on your body. I dunno... That nurse that treated the patient like crap? She turned off her patients' alarms. One of my patients O2 saturation went down to 82 and good thing I was nearby because his alarm didn't go off. What the hell? You don't do crap like that. So now I have another thing to add to my routine in the morning: Make sure all alarms are on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 Can't you report them for stuff like that??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 6, 2013 Author Share Posted September 6, 2013 Can't you report them for stuff like that??? Possibly. But no harm came to the patients, and it's things that are hard to prove, so it would be my word against hers, and I'm just the new grad. =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hers Posted September 6, 2013 Share Posted September 6, 2013 I would maybe casually bring it up to a supervisor and say "I've noticed a few times that alarms have been off. No harm has come to the patients but I'm worried something could go wrong and I wanted to let you know." No throwing anyone under the bus or blaming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 9, 2013 Author Share Posted September 9, 2013 I've only seen it happen once, so I don't think I'll mention it. I need a jean shopping partner. Ever since I say that "gateway mom jeans" post, it's been a huge reminder that I really need more clothes, especially clothes that look flattering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greywolf Posted September 9, 2013 Author Share Posted September 9, 2013 When I first arrived here, I had packed all my old nursing scrubs with me so I wouldn't have to buy more. Then I learned that the dress code was dark blue and white only. I thought, "That means I can wear blue only! I'm not going to wear white!!" White gets dirty and I have to deal with poop and blood and other stuff and it really just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. =( So I went to the local nursing scrubs shop, and I bought 2 pairs of scrubs. One of the tops were white because I couldn't find another blue top that fit me. But now, I'm completely sold on white. It looks so professional and I have yet to get my white tops dirty. I'd also forgotten that I wore a white top all throughout nursing school and never had a problem. And my blue scrubs have already begun to fade. I don't know if it's from washing them or ironing them or what, but they already look so dull. I'm not ready for white pants yet though, being female and all... >_> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.