How to deal with boyfriends possessive mother?

[Ms Darcy]

I too hope you break up with him. He LIKES going home to his mom. It's relaxing to him. He won't change because he is doing what he likes. You cannot change a man. This is one of the biggest lessons you will learn in relationships.

[thornz]

His “mum” isn’t the problem, he is. You’re not a priority to him and when you express your concerns to him about his lack of commitment and effort, he gaslights you into compliance. The reason I have “mum” in inverted commas is because to me it sounds like he is married and you are a side piece. The message from his mum was actually his wife. That’s why you will never get to meet his friends or family and he doesn’t talk about you to them. He treats you like his dirty secret.

 

Here are some very good reasons to move on and find somebody who will treat you as an equal who is valuable:

 

He treats you as a convenience with everything on his terms.

 

He is not committed.

 

He makes no effort to see you.

 

He makes no attempt to meet your friends or parents.

 

He has no intention to introduce you to his parents or friends.

 

Whenever you bring up these issues he manipulates you into self doubt. The most important thing I have learnt on this site, trust your gut. Your gut tells you his behaviour is wrong and he has taught you to doubt your gut, that you are the problem, that you expect too much, that you’re immature. Trust your gut!

[Capricorn3]

Thread is five years old and the OP has never returned. Thread closed.