XpandTheMind Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Well, I recently lost my ex, and I highly doubt I'll get another chance. I felt she did a lot of things that annoyed, hurt, and pissed me off. But, looking back, I'm starting to see...I may have not have been the best boyfriend, especially to a woman I really adored. I'll start off with my bad traits, the ones I've noticed. - Emotionally cold...I had a real hard time opening up to her a lot of times, which resulted in pent up anger/pain/confusion. - I over analyze everything...I'm a deep thinker, and can connect things that are going on, or may not be going on off little information. - Emotionally awkward...I sometimes come off indifferent, so it appears as if I'm upset, thinking, or not paying attention. This results in me not saying much. - Make her feel special...I had a hard time showing how important she was to me. I think the closest I came to really letting her know was when I told her "She's the antidote to my stress" I would go days without being myself, and she'd call, text, or hang out and I felt a thousand times better. -Not letting go...she did things that hurt bad, cut me really deep. But, I kept dwelling on it, instead of moving on. It made me come off as always upset or disturbed. My good traits... - I can be pretty sweet...I'm usually affectionate, couldn't keep my hands off her when we were together. - I'm usually very patient... - I'm a good listener...I like hearing others speak, and responding. - It sounds arrogant, but I know I'm a very nice person...it takes a lot for me to despise anyone, as I have an inability to hold grudges in many situations. So, what I want to know is...where can I improve? So, when that type of woman comes around again, I have the flaws in my character patched up. I know I have issues in relationships, but they've all ended similarly. The only common denominator is me. I've taken steps towards figuring myself out, by just being brutally honest with myself, and it's helped. But, I would love an outside opinion. Any help is appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajenkoz Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 If I could give you one piece of advice I would say to talk more. If you are having a "cold, awkward moment" tell her. Tell her that you are dealing with some baggage and that being with her makes you feel better. As a woman, the one thing I don't like is feeling like the other person is disinterested, or not as interested as I am. So instead of clamming up, just try telling her how you feel, make sure she knows that it's really just you, not her. Maybe tell her up front when you first start talking that you have emotional issues but are trying to change for the better? It is possible also, that you just haven't met the right one, or are looking in the wrong places. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XpandTheMind Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 Appreciate the responses. For awhile I felt, when I was with her, that I had become that guy with "nice guy" syndrome aka "The dog that will bring a bone to take one". Like I was expecting that to be enough, and failed miserably. I'm definitely looking to change those around, and to talk more...thanks again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Bird Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Work on better ways to communicate and how to express your thoughts and feelings. Seems to me that's your biggest issue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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