Not having stronger feelings then I should

[gilmond]

So I have been dating this girl for a while now and we have had plenty of good sex, went on plenty of great dates and I'm not having the strong feelings I feel I should be having. We only see each other on weekends and we both are on opposite work schedules which completely sucks but I have been faithful but there are lingering feelings for another girl who I just recently met. We talk all the time through text and I feel I have more of a connection. I'm thinking this is just the start out phase of getting to know someone and that is why I am so interested in her. For my girlfriend I am trying to make as much bonding time as possible and I gave her keys to my apartment and I ask her to stay at my place all the time but she doesn't want to. She is very timid and I really have never had a girlfriend who was this timid which it doesn't really bother me but it makes other girls who are wild seem so much more interesting. I find it an internal struggle and I even had a dream that I looked up in the dream dictionary that says I am battling lots of temptation. How am I supposed to cope with having such a timid girlfriend? I've been trying to spend more time with my guy buddies and just take my mind of women at all costs. I want to be a loyal and faithful man but it truly is getting very hard at this point and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend.

[Kendahke]

If there is no hope of your feelings becoming stronger for this timid chick, then you need to cut her loose. You're not compatible. Either there is strong attraction or there isn't and if you haven't developed a strong attraction to her yet, then chances are, those feelings are never going to come.

 

Aside from the fact, you have feelings for someone else, you feel more of a connection to her. I'd say you have a far stronger attraction to this new girl than you do with your girlfriend.

 

You don't do your girlfriend any favors by pursuing another woman behind her back and allowing an attraction for them to build. You may not be phycally cheating, but you are emotionally cheating because if she's got you this attracted to her, then you are allowing her into emotional intimacy with you and she shouldn't be in the space if you've got a girlfriend.

 

I think you should get your key back from your girlfriend and cut her loose... the longer you wait, the more the potential for you to become resentful for what you've settled for when there was no need to do that. Not all relationships are supposed to work out.

[RedDress]

I want to be a loyal and faithful man but it truly is getting very hard at this point and I don't want to break up with my girlfriend.

 

Loyal and faithful men make decisions.

 

What you need to do is make a decision. Do you want your gf? Or do you want to pursue this other girl?

 

If you want your gf, stop talking to this other girl. Temptation will always happen in a relationship, but you are directly putting yourself in the path of temptation by continuing a texting relationship with this other girl. If you cut ties with the other girl, you will find that you think about her less (and eventually you will stop thinking about her). It's not about never being tempted - it's about actively deciding to avoid temptation (not promote it) in the face of it. Right now, you are making the temptation worse. It's like being on a diet and hanging out in a donut shop. Stop!

 

If you want to keep texting the other girl and seeing where it goes, leave your gf.

 

Staying on the path you are on now will increase the likelihood that you will cheat. You can't just hang out in the donut shop and smell the donuts. (lol! Weird analogy but it works)

[Snow Bird]

I agree totally with Kendahke. If you are having feelings and attraction for another woman that's not fair to your girlfriend. You need to let her go unless you think your feelings for her will get deeper, or you can drop contact with the other girl. Talking to this other girl while you have a girlfriend is just a cheating situation in the making.

[PaintWithLight]

You are not in love. You are not ready to be exclusive. You want to play the field. You are constantly scoping out other women.

 

You are greedy and want to keep around the great sex. You want your cake and to eat it too. There is no blame on your timid girlfriend, the only conflict is that you are not being honest with her because that would end your sure thing. Deep down inside, you do not want to go back into the dating world. Why didn't you bag a wild girl when you were dating. Because they are too hard to catch, so you settled for current gf.

 

This is nothing more than the grass is greener syndrome.

[gilmond]

I talked to my gf about everything we had a long discussion about an hour. Things went pretty well she said most of the problems we have been having were from her family because she still lives at home and has a really controlling mother. I did also tell her about the other girl and at first she was mad but she forgave me. She agreed we haven't been spending as much time and doing the fun stuff she would like. So I talked to the other girl and we cut ties. I told my gf my needs and she said she would try to work on it. Wild girls may be fun but this girl will be loyal to me I know that much and I'd rather have someone who is loyal and honest then anything else. I just have to remember what happened with my previous exes. The wondering if she was with another dude the constant arguing and getting back together. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and thank you for your insight.