XpandTheMind Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Well, I'll try to keep this brief.... Me and my ex have been on and off for the past year or two. Recently things blew up, and as if someone hit a light switch, she just kind of stopped contacting me like she used to. It really sucked, as I was going through a very rough time at work, and I needed her. I tried my hardest to get things back on track, by coming to her more, being open and honest so she'd feel more comfortable and I wouldn't have pent up aggression. It's so weird because just days ago, she sent me a text saying she "wanted to make us work". Then days after she felt it was time to move on. I know I'm not the best boyfriend, but the things she said she wasn't sure of...blew my mind. She didn't think I was all that into her, and only wanted to argue, and I was always so "doom and gloom"... BUT... I know she knew how much I cared, loved, and adored her. I admit, I did have moments of pent up anger that came off aggressive, but I changed that around. Plus, I've stuck by her this entire time, even when she does things like this. I know I love this chick, if things didn't go this far off the road, I could easily say that I would be willing to take the next step and get a place with her, even possibly get her a ring. I know I have a hard time showing my true emotions, so I come off awkward or quirky, but she makes me extremely happy...I was devastated when she said it was time to move on. I asked her, if the reason she wasn't around as much was because of another guy? She would respond by not answering the question and pick something totally different to rip on me about, almost like she was turning the tables. I just wanted to know what was going on, and she wouldn't say. I wanted to know for me, so I'm not stepping on toes, or giving 100 percent in the wrong situation. Anyway. Fast forward... I give her a ride to the airport cause she's going out of town. I have a hard time talking to her because I'm such a deep thinker on things I care about, but it was also cause I felt I couldn't say anything. I felt it was more of a phantom pain...I was still hurting even though she was gone, and I didn't want it to be like this. She eventually asks me, and I tell her what I'm thinking...she tells me something along the lines of neither of us wre happy, but I was...she says it didn't seem like it. She mentions being "friends is something every relationship needs, there's more to it, but we have to be friends." But, I dont know... What do I do? This is THE girl for me, I can feel it, but I'm definitely at a cross roads. Do I stick with it? Drop my past anger, confusion, pain to be friends and potentially kill the stress that's felt when we're around each other? Or... Do I bite the bullet, and let her go to possibly never see or hear from her again? Any advice would be nice. I'm thinking of just giving her, her space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverbirch Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 You can't force a person to be with you. Definitely sounds like your anger issues scared her off, that she had felt you weren't really into her, and sorry to say that other males are interested. People at ENA have different ideas - some say NC. Others say LC, giving them space and time with no pressure, and the possibility of reconnecting later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Bird Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 It's possible by the sounds of her backing off so suddenly after texting you that she wanted to make things work, that she is also involved with another guy. If you two are having stress with communication and you are coming off as aggressive, the other guy is shining brightly in the spotlight and of course, she will navigate more towards him. To me, depending on your comfort level, I will suggest two things: You can tell her outright how you feel about her and leave it to her to respond or not. Or you can just tell her you are there for her if she wants to talk and just leave it with her. If she doesn't respond to you reaching out to her, or gives you a cold response, you have no choice but to leave her alone for a while. If she wants contact she will contact you. She might already be gone, just going through the motions of ending things for good with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 29, 2013 Share Posted July 29, 2013 Sounds like another man has entered the picture. She wants to keep you on the backburner as an option. I would bow out graciously and let this play out. Just tell her you would like to work things out and that you still hope that she would be willing to do that, but you cannot wait for her forever to make that decision. Then bow out and move on. She may want to come back, she may not. Only time will tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XpandTheMind Posted July 29, 2013 Author Share Posted July 29, 2013 I figured about there being another guy. It still hurts but I'm doing okay. I just keep replaying me asking her "What do you want? (In terms of us)", and her saying "I want to be happy." It came off vague, but also came off like she wasn't telling me something. It really sucks cause she did make me happy, but like a previous poster said I cant make someone be with me...no matter how much I feel I have to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chitown9 Posted July 30, 2013 Share Posted July 30, 2013 how much I feel I have to offer. You do have so much to offer a woman. I can tell that you are a good guy...one that many women would love to have as a partner. Your wife doesn't have a clue what she is doing by cutting you loose. ....:star: chi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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